To Be Less Mocking of Others

[Anonymous]

My New Year’s Resolution for this month is to be less mocking of others, taken from Alma 5:30-31 – which says:

Quote:

And again I say unto you, is there one among you that doth make a mock of his brother, or that heapeth upon him persecutions? Wo unto such an one, for he is not prepared, and the time is at hand that he must repent or he cannot be saved!

As I generally do, I want to define “make a mock” and “heapeth upon him persecutions” – especially since I am struck by the peculiar phrasing of both of these statements. When we consider the word “mock”, we always use it as a verb – as in “to mock”. I’m not sure I have heard, ever, it used as a noun in the way it is used in this verse – to “make a mock”. Also, I think few people consider mocking someone to be such a heinous action that it risks one’s very salvation. Thus, I turn to the dictionary first – and, interestingly, there are three definitions that are slightly different but apply to the usage of the verse. I want to discuss each one separately to begin my resolution posts this month.

Quote:

1) a contemptuous or derisive imitative action or speech; mockery or derision

One way to “make a mock” of someone is to imitate that person in a contemptuous or derisive manner. This is the most obvious way, since the tone and visual expression used is blatant and undeniable. However, it is the mocker who uses this action – who expresses mockery or derision toward someone else; this definition does not equate precisely to “making a mock” of another. This first and most common definition – the one that everyone understands instinctively – does lead to the second definition, and the second definition fits more fully the scriptural usage in Alma 5:30.

Quote:

2) something mocked or derided; an object of derision

Actively mocking or deriding someone turns them into an “object of derision”, which leads to the third and most interesting definition in the dictionary – one I honestly have not considered prior to my contemplation this week.

Quote:

3) an imitation; counterfeit; fake

The thought that struck me is that turning someone into an “object” robs them of their individual worth – and it also robs them, in a real way, of their ability to act and not be acted upon. Thus, making someone “a mock” turns a real person into a caricature – and it’s always easier to deride an imitation, a counterfeit or a fake than it is to deride a fully complex person. Turning someone into an object, therefore, is the first step to dehumanizing him – and dehumanization is perhaps the worst thing that can be done to someone, since taking away one’s divinely given individuality and turning them into merely an “object” (and, specifically, an “object of derision”) denies the very purpose of creation, the Fall and the Atonement. It also provides justification for “heap(ing) upon him persecutions”.

Thus, the warning:

Quote:

Wo unto such an one, for he is not prepared, and the time is at hand that he must repent or he cannot be saved!

As I contemplate this new definition, I realize I am not immune to the tendency to mock – and I immediately think of at least two situations where I have overlooked the complexity of someone’s situation, reduced each of these people to a caricature and used that simplification to complain about them in such a way that I have made a mock of them and heaped persecution upon them. I have allowed my frustration about certain circumstances to move me to something of which I need to repent, so much of my focus for the upcoming week will be on seeing, admitting and acknowledging the complexity of the people and their circumstances and, thus, fully humanizing them once again in my own sight.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the post. I know I have been guilty of this in my lifetime, and I sometimes feel that it happens to me from others. Wow, thanks for the breakdown into explaining it, I didn’t quite realize such a scripture existed.

[Anonymous]

Although it’s not normally monikered “mocking”, I think harsh judgments of others may be considered mocking. Whether inside the Church, or outside of it, being judgmental is mocking. I feel that in our religion, where everyone knows the rules everyone should be abiding by, this is something we need to be very careful of — people do it without even thinking. In fact, they do it thinking they are being a good Mormon. I have a less active woman I home teach (surprisingly – she thinks I’m a TBM active person), and at times she’s made comments like “I’m really enjoying my inactivity”.

I can’t argue with that. She served tirelessly for a long time and then had some family members behave in the most unMormon way, which destroyed her marriage. Can I blame her from feeling sort of disilluisioned about the gospel, the culture, the plan, the high ideals we espouse about the power of the Gospel and our Church etcetera? Can I blame her in when all the gospel living led to inoperable situations around her, in spite of high levels of commitment through much of her life?

Not at all. I empathize, and focus on the friendship we share. That means more, matters more in the end anyway than whether she gets herself into a pew on Sunday and sits there. And I do strengthen her through blessings and sheer listening to the challenges she faces in her work etcetera. In fact, I believe that the listening and caring is more important than any programmed FP message I can give. I leave without HT messages all the time and spend more and more time listening and asking questions about her life. And when she broaches her inactivity (which she does more and more frequencly now), my comments are always about empathy and understanding (partly) from my own challenges, and what it takes to WANT to be active again, how it develops on its own time, and how I have no expectations of any kind from her, and will never push her.

THAT’S liberating, to live one’s life without any desire to compel others to do anything. So much of my life as a TBM priesthood leader was focused on getting people to do things. Not so anymore. It’s about being a supportive, non-mocking, non-judgmental warm blanket in which people can thrive on their own schedule.

[Author]

Posts