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So my VTers came this week. One said she wouldn’t be there cuz she had already talked to me on the street the other day ( as if my friendship were something to check off. ouch.). The one who did show up stayed for 3 hours going off on politics. I was told who to vote for, what political platforms were acceptable, what books to read, the virtures of the NRA, the uneducational value of reading fiction, and finally that I should join an online group but not to worry if I get added to the list of possible terrorists. Yeah…..What can I say after all that?
So, I called the RS pres to talk it over. At this point in my church affiliation, I actually love the vision of the program. But I rarely have seen it work properly and I wonder often if it is worth my time. I don’t feel anyone gives a flying poop about my life or my burdens or even just trying to become a friend. Which btw bothers me as I find institutional friendship rather distasteful. I am sick of this kinda thing! I am sick of having someone say they care but then not talk to you when their ward or assignment changes.
I think I hit a wall. I don’t wanna do it anymore!!!!!!
But then I think that God wouldn’t want me to bail on the program but to try and raise the bar by doing my part well.
(Internal battle underway)
Any advise?
Hi Poppyseed 3 hours of conservative propaganda and you didn’t explode?
😯 That clearly shows that you are a Mormon, internal battle or not so you may as well just settle in and change what you change, or improve what you can improve which is you, as it true for all of us.Quote:I actually love the vision of the program. But I rarely have seen it work properly and I wonder often if it is worth my time. I don’t feel anyone gives a flying poop about my life or my burdens or even just trying to become a friend. Which btw bothers me as I find institutional friendship rather distasteful.
For us guys it is to HT or not to HT and far too many of us solve the problem by HTing from the 28th to the 30th of each month, if it is one of those longer months, then from the 29th to the 31st. I decided some time ago to compartmentalize my HT life. I don’t get to choose who I home teach, though I do care about everybody in my ward in a very real way. So over time I have been HT to quite a percentage of the ward and along the way have found some very good friends. I continue to HT those families in a family friendly way which means that we ARE friends, we visit back and forth and work on each other’s major projects and when the parents are away from home and the dog is in trouble the kids phone me and I show up with my wife and we handle it. So, here’s my solution. Use VTing as a filter mechanism, it is a slow mechanism I admit but use it to find people with whom you can really connect, when you find one of those, never let go. Do what needs to be done institutionally, hopefully not quite as crassly as your example (as a Canadian I sort of agree with NRA but then paradoxically I am very left in my politics, I guess the gun thing comes from living on a farm, its a necessary tool out here.).
There, I figure that is worth at least 1.5 cents of advice.
Poppyseed: Quote:The one who did show up stayed for 3 hours going off on politics. I was told who to vote for, what political platforms were acceptable, what books to read, the virtures of the NRA, the uneducational value of reading fiction, and finally that I should join an online group but not to worry if I get added to the list of possible terrorists. Yeah…..What can I say after all that?
I would have totally had fun with this one. She sounds like my niece on FB, and I love busting her chops over this kind of stuff, if for no other reason than to show her that you can have different opinions about things like politics, guns, and fiction and still be a totally awesome person and a friend (or in my case aunt). You should feel totally free to disagree with anything your VTers say. After all, the point is to make friends. I think you can say “We’ll just have to agree to disagree on that” and change the subject if that suits you better. Or you can say, “Wow–I would never be willing to shoot another living thing. I’m always amazed how people can live with themselves. But whatevs!” Or, “I’m all for protecting our freedoms against despots like they did in the revolutionary war, but the kind of people who lobby about guns nowadays seem like Ted Kazinsky types who like to kill and eat their neighbors for sport. I’ll bet you’ve met some interesting folks at the meetings.”
Like I said, I think it could be totally fun to mess with her. Just me.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Hawk, can I be your VT???? You sound like a blast! Oh, and am I out of the loop? What is wrong with fiction?
Why do most Mormons only get home taught 10 months of the year? .
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Because it’s not RIGHT to home teach on Halloween and New Year’s Eve!
😳 Sorry for this horrible thread jack but the title of this thread just got to me this close to football season. I’m a huge VaTech fan. GO HOKIES!!!!!!
😈 
[img]http://blogs.eveningsun.com/mount/virginia_tech_logo.jpg [/img] So this is probably not helpful in any way, except to let you know others feel like you do…. I HATE visiting teaching! I don’t like having someone pretend to care about me because they think they have to, nor do I want to be the pretender. I don’t like having to pretend to be something I”m not for my visiting teacher or when I go out! I have a very bad atitude about VT, and I know it, so I approached the RS Pres and told her I did not want to be a VT anymore, and I did not want VT’s to come to me anymore. I assured her that this has nothing to do with my VT’s, my partner, or the people I VT. I know I have a bad attitude and I don’t want to go, but I don’t want to affect the blessings of my partner or my VT’s by not going, or avoiding phone calls. I told the RS Pres all of this and she said…”well, you will probably lose your temple recommend…” WHAT! I was livid, I’m going to lose my temple recommend by being honest vs. lying about going, or just not going? The RS Pres, sat me down like we were in a Bishop’s interview and told me she was afraid if she let me out of this, they would lose me completely…oh yeah, that’s going to be the reason! We left things kinda unresolved, but the VY coordinator is still calling me, and my VT’s called last week, so I guess I’m still in. Now the RS Pres and the whole Presidency treat me differently. But, will NOT be going Visiting Teaching anytime soon, believe me. And if I’m going to lose my Temple Recommend, well I guess I will have to discuss that with the Bishop, doesn’t matter, I don’t have one anyway, it expired and I haven’t felt like getting it renewed…but that’s another post…
Hi Poppyseed, Your honesty is always so refreshing! I have had numerous types of VT’s. Ones that just do their duty and check you off. Others who rarely come, and some who say just the wrong things to annoy you. I remember one VT rave to me how she had just paid her tithing and how God blessed her with a big check in the mail. I told her that I had just paid my tithing too, and my car broke down, the washer stopped working, my kids were in trouble, and my husband just found out he did not get the promotion we had hoped for. Another time I had just taken over a calling my VT had as ward activity director and she had the nerve to tell me how I was doing my calling wrong while VTing me. On the other hand I have had some of the best VT’s in the world that made such a difference in my life. One, usually brought treats for my kids and me but she said the spirit had told her to only bring fresh apples this time. I had just found out I was pre-diabetic and this was so encouraging to me. Another time, my VT was my RS president and she came by herself. I was having huge martial problems and she was there for me in affirming that I had done nothing wrong and God was on my side. It was such an answer to prayer. I just realize some people are inspired and others are not. I just take any good I can get.
Thanks Gidgy! I really appreciate your post. I am surprised your RS pres brought the TR into it. I don’t think our HT or VT is tied to it ….. or else there would be lots ‘O people not going to the temple! I just found out they took me off my route without even telling me because they heard I was sick a few months back. I was like…..thanks for asking me first!
😡 And it didn’t effect my TR.I am also frustrated with how your RS pres met your concern. She didn’t even try to empathize or meet your need ….or heaven forbid appeal to the Spirit so that her words were loving. I would have stood up for you had I been there. We don’t bring people to Christ thru guilt! When will we learn………
And to Bridget…..
Thanks. I am honest….heaven help me!
And thank you for your remarks. I too have had a few wonderful VT. They are few and far between but they are there and I should not forget to thank God for those angels.
And to the rest of you…..
thank goodness God made funny people! LOL!
I was just thinking……this thread really brings to the surface one of my root concerns. I think I NEED the church to do it right! I know that this is earth life and people are flawed, but I NEED the church programs to work the way the Lord wants them to work. To me that would mean that the gospel of JC is real and that it does in fact change people and make them more loving. When I see the programs of the church work at this mediocre level (you can add priesthood blessings to this list too….), then it makes me question the reality of the Good news. If Mormon says that miracles haven’t ceased, then I want to see the miracles follow the Saints! I wanna know that the LDS’s are loving and kind and humble and that they “get it”. Make sense? I must be a miserable idealist.
Poppyseed wrote:… I think I NEED the church to do it right!
Wow! Now that’s gonna cause some real cog-dis! I prefer to not “need” the church to do anything…I have no real control there. Seems like major disappointment would follow if I did!
(but I’m weird….)
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