ToPoTC – Chapter 16 (Marriage)

[Anonymous]

Chapter 16: Marriage—An Eternal Partnership

[img]http://i.imgur.com/0M90w4X.png[/img]

A Glimpse at Eternal Marriage

He does this annoying thing where every time he takes a drink of water he goes, “Ah!”

She does this annoying thing where every time she takes a drink of water she is an old nag. – Parks and Recreation “Anniversaries”

From the Life of Howard W. Hunter

Quote:

The following year they began dating seriously, and on a spring evening nearly three years after they met, Howard took Claire to a beautiful overlook above the ocean. “We [watched] the waves roll in from the Pacific and break over the rocks in the light of a full moon,” he wrote. That night Howard proposed marriage, and Claire accepted.

Three years after they met. Wow. Remember that the next time someone in a singles ward starts asking you when you’re going to get married because you sat next to the same person during SM on two consecutive Sundays.

1) Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and is intended to be eternal.

I can hear it now.

Quote:

With a knowledge of the plan of salvation as a foundation, a man who holds the priesthood looks upon marriage as a sacred privilege and obligation.

and later:

Quote:

Remember that as a priesthood bearer you have the obligation to take the lead in seeking eternal companionship.

I know some older men that never married who were really impacted by statements like this, that a single man was failing his obligation by remaining single. Sometimes when we talk about singles in the church we talk about them as if they were single by choice. I think we should be more careful about what we say and remember that most of the time that is not the case. I know it’s not all fun and games for the single women either, they’re often subject to the immense pressures of being good enough to be picked by a man.

2) When deciding whom to marry, be patient, have faith, and stay worthy of receiving divine assistance.

Quote:

Try not to let what you don’t have blind you to that which you do have.

I like that advice and I think it applies to many things in life.

[Anonymous]

[img]http://i.imgur.com/E8vj9uO.png[/img]

Michelangelo’s The Lowering of the Seat

“[Marriage] … is a learned behavior. Our conscious effort, not instinct, determines the success.”

3) No blessing will be denied to worthy individuals who are not married.

Quote:

No blessing, including that of eternal marriage and an eternal family, will be denied to any worthy individual. While it may take somewhat longer—perhaps even beyond this mortal life—for some to achieve this blessing, it will not be denied. …

There’s that “w” word again. Earlier in the manual it said “Just as baptism is a commandment of the Lord, so is temple marriage.” I’ll skip the catch 22 of how you can be worthy if you haven’t obeyed the commandment of being married in the temple and jump right to: If temple marriage is one of those commandments that we can work out in the afterlife why not any of the various commandments? I believe we do have this concept of the eternities as a time to slowly progress towards perfection. Why use this to be more merciful to everyone in this life?

Quote:

President Benson has reminded us that “time is numbered only to man. God has your eternal perspective in mind.”

When are you going to get married? When are you going to give me grandbabies?

4) Successful marriage requires our best efforts to live the principles of the gospel.

Quote:

A wise choice of a partner is a large contribution to a successful marriage, yet the conscious effort to do one’s part fully is the greatest element contributing to success.

The first part of this quote can go a long way towards dispelling the “any two righteous people…” thing we sometimes hear, even though overall the lesson tends to lean in the any two direction.

Quote:

While it is true that worthy couples will obtain exaltation in the celestial kingdom, each man and woman sealed in an eternal relationship must be individually worthy of that blessing.

There are some red flags in this area for mixed faith relationships. It might be a good idea to have 1 Corinthians 7:12-14 handy.

[Anonymous]

5) Husbands and wives should work together to strengthen the bonds of marriage.

Quote:

Most partners have imperfections. … Richard L. Evans once said, “Perhaps any of us could get along with perfect people, but our task is to get along with imperfect people.” We understand in marriage that we are not dealing with perfect people; we are seeking perfection and we are traveling the course in which we hope to find perfection, but we must have understanding, give our best, and make life beautiful. …

Quote:

Surely the happiest marriages are those where your hurt is my hurt, my pain is your pain, my victory, your victory, my concerns, your concerns.

Sounds like a decent way to have a relationship with everyone.

I’m trying to make these shorter but this is a really long lesson in the manual. I’d be wary of people turning the lesson into a marriage between a man and a woman debate. There’s also potential for singles to feel left out. There’s some nice references to pornography at the end as well. Potential land mine after potential land mine. If I were teaching the lesson I’d keep bringing up “announcements” during the opening exercises in hopes that there would only be 5 minutes left for the lesson.

[Anonymous]

Wow, if it took two Mormons 3 years to get married, they must have either a) been having sex through that period or b) lived apart or c) were prophet material.

Love Nibbler’s Cistine (sp??) chapel picture above. Leaving the toilet seat down is an bedrock principle of happy marriages I’ve heard.

Along with separate bathrooms — my solution…

[Anonymous]

nibbler wrote:

that a single man was failing his obligation by remaining single. Sometimes when we talk about singles in the church we talk about them as if they were single by choice.

I think I am single mainly because I don’t think my past and general traits is something to torment an LDS woman with, and that I would be better off pursuing in the world instead. I feel like I would be just damaging an LDS girl with what I have done/am doing/etc and so that it would be best not hurt anyone else.

[Anonymous]

I made the point in our Teaching Council meeting today that if I teach a lesson about marriage I need to be aware of the students and not present the traditional, two-parent, temple-sealed, loving version as the only righteous option – since statistics show that probably at least half of the students aren’t living in that sort of a family. I said teaching about marriage can be uplifting or like hitting people with a club.

I’ve said that multiple times in multiple areas and multiple settings, and everyone has understood and agreed. I know the traditional lesson still has been taught afterward by people, but I also know it has been approached more carefully, as well.

[Author]

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