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DarkJedi wrote:
bridget_night wrote:
My sister was asked if she and her husband had oral sex. She told him it was none of his business and walked out. When my oldest son was a teenager he did the same when asked about masturbation. What other churches do this? Annoys me especially when I think of some of the stuff JS did morally behind Emma’s back.
I don;t think other churches do it because there isn’t the temple recommend type interview. However, I am aware of at least one church that is even more strict on these things than ours and it is more of an expectation that if you are doing those things (which would include oral sex and masturbation) you will confess it.
I dunno. Have you ever heard of Confession? The Catholics and Orthodox Church do it.
The oral sex question was roughly 35-40 years ago. It lasted for a very short time, officially, before enough people had reacted that it was rescinded. Individual leaders here and there kept asking, since everyone is a cafeteria Mormon in some way, but it disappeared officially pretty quickly due to the backlash. I’m going to interpret your STake President’s question the way Curtis might read the words…given his ability to see different meanings than everyone else in the same passage… The SP said “Do you live the law of chastity, which includes pornography?”
A person could answer:
“Yes, I live the law of chastity, and I make it a habit to look at pornography at least once a week, so yes, I am in compliance.”
or to be ambiguous
“Yes, I live the law of chastity, including the pornography part”.
😆 😆 😆 If the Law of Chastity was changed to include porn, baptisms and temple attendance would skyrocket. Just saying.
What’s the old saying? “I don’t want to be chaste, I want to be chased by lots of attractive women”.
My 13 yr old daughter has declined the TR interview and temple trips. She says that she does not feel comfortable being asked questions alone like that. She says that it feels like an interrogation. I believe that her discomfort extends to the belief questions as much if not more-so than the action/behavior questions. Her beliefs are still forming and she doesn’t look kindly on having them probed. Roy, that is a very mature conclusion for a 13 yr old. You have raised her well. Roy wrote:
My 13 yr old daughter has declined the TR interview and temple trips. She says that she does not feel comfortable being asked questions alone like that. She says that it feels like an interrogation. I believe that her discomfort extends to the belief questions as much if not more-so than the action/behavior questions. Her beliefs are still forming and she doesn’t look kindly on having them probed.
I have seen similar things happen here. Just curious, what has been the leadership’s reaction? They get fairly flabbergasted here, depending a little on the bishop.
So far we have not told the leadership much. DW has told the YW leader not to plan on having DD on the temple trips and that DW will work on attending the temple with DD as a mother daughter outing. The leadership are aware that we participate at arms length sometimes so they tend to be respectful of any requests for space. 11 yr old DS recently received his TR because the bishop snuck the TR questions into the interview to be ordained to the Priesthood of Aaron. There was no equivalent interview when DD graduated to YW.
Roy wrote:
11 yr old DS recently received his TR because the bishop snuck the TR questions into the interview to be ordained to the Priesthood of Aaron. There was no equivalent interview when DD graduated to YW.
Our bishops were told that those two interviews were one in the same so that two interviews were not necessary. Makes some sense, especially considering the questions are probably pretty similar for both. I do think our young women were interviewed as well, but I’m not positive about that. One of the side effects of the change is most youth interviews moved to January. The ward I visit often has tons of youth, and I know the bishop there (who is a friend) was hopping in January.
DarkJedi wrote:
Another aspect of the whole experience is that even if I did look at porn I would have answered the question yes because I answer the questions as I think they are supposed to be.
I do the same thing, and I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one that does that. Some of the questions I just don’t agree with. I answer the questions looking at the spirit of the law instead of the letter. The cultural pressure is so heavy though that it’s still hard not to think that I’m stretching the truth.
Roy wrote:
So far we have not told the leadership much. DW has told the YW leader not to plan on having DD on the temple trips and that DW will work on attending the temple with DD as a mother daughter outing. The leadership are aware that we participate at arms length sometimes so they tend to be respectful of any requests for space.
Update: 13 yr old DD was just called as the YW class president (because there are so few young women they are apparently doing one class presidency for all the age groups). Bishop called us as parents to ask our permission ahead of time. We stipulated that DD would not speak or perform in SM (something that DD has made known unto us) and that DW would like to be present during the meeting when the calling is extended. DW and I are cautiously optimistic that DD can provide input into YW activities and grow her leadership skills.
Roy, your DD is very astute. She will do great in life. My youngest hates public speaking but makes it through it, in one sense I hate pushing him to speak, and the other I think it helps him (he’s socially awkward like his dad).
I’ve never had additional questions nor interpretations during the TR interview.
I agree that your SP was out of line in adding that. I wish that I could have this happen to me and that I would be sharp and smart enough to answer so that the SP understands (tactfully) that he shouldn’t add or modify the questions so it doesn’t happen to someone else. But I would probably be taken off guard and not be able to fix it.
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