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  • #205393
    Anonymous
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    For a long time now I have had cognitive dissoance over the church, but it seems to have come to a head this past week because of GC and also because my husband and I have been visiting other churches. On one hand we have always loved so many of the lds teachings about the potential of man and woman, God’s mercy and justice, the trinity, etc. There are many wonderful people in these other churches who exhibit the love of Christ so beautifully, yet so many of their teachings are not rational theology and make God out to be someone that is either creul or nuts. For example, the last Bible study class we went to, it was all this talk about how ‘its all about you God, not about us. In our heads we are thinking…’that does not make sense…everything God did, including sacrificing His Son was all about us.” Then there was the talk about being ‘saved’ and if you don’t accept Jesus on earth its heaven or hell. Then some lady talked about ‘once saved, always saved.” It was driving my research scientist husband crazy and he brought up some questions but he did not want to start a firestorm and shake these peoples faith.

    On the other hand, we struggle with the contradications we see within the lds church. Example, if man and woman have such great potential then why did JS treat Emma and women so awful through polygamy. Why lie about polygamy to the church and destroy a printing press. If these other wives were just as noble and important as the first wives, then why not mention them in church manuels today or put up their statues right next to Emma’s in Nauvoo and Temple square. The church talks about the greatness of eternal marriage and how wonderful Adam and Eve are, yet Adam did not have a bunch of wives created for him. It was just him and Eve, as partners. Then there also seems like so many cover ups and lies in the church. The church talks about how all the prophecies of JS and BY have come to pass when that is not true. Elder Packer basically told me that God did not create my son with those ‘impure’ and immoral’ same sex attractions as if homosexuality is all about immoral sex. The homo-emotional needs my son has are not immoral or unnatural. The talk is of love, tolerance, and compassion, but how gays have been treated by members over the years has led to suicides and them leaving the church. So, I plan to spend my day mediating and going to the sourse of all truth, God Himself. I need to know who God really is and what He can tell me is the truth about all this. I would appreciate your prayers today.

    Bridget

    #235293
    Anonymous
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    bridget_night wrote:

    I would appreciate your prayers today.

    Done.

    Please note that Elder Packer’s talk has been edited, so his is obviously not the last word. I share your concern and angst over the other issues, but for whatever reason, today it’s not bothering me. Perhaps partially because of things like what I just mentioned. I initially dismissed redacting BKPs talk as disingenuous, but my wife’s reaction was to be excited. On further reflection, I can see that she has good reason to be. This is a tacit admission of two things: 1) some of the content of BKPs talk, in particular, was wrong, and 2) GAs sometimes make mistakes.

    Of course we already knew this in spades. The exciting part is that someone in the church hierarchy seems to know it, too, and is willing to go out on a bit of a limb — just a tiny bit — to make it right. Temporarily, at least, this gives me hope that the way I view the world isn’t so at odds with the institutional church, all the time. And, while I am a part of the church, I can rest easier from time to time in that knowledge. Is this one of God’s tender mercies that we sometimes hear of? Maybe. I not sure why I am part of this church, nor, to be honest, how long it will last. Probably for the rest of my life, but who knows? In the meantime, it’s nice to get a wink and a nod from God once in a while.

    Sometimes I wonder if I really want the church to conform to my way of thinking. Not that I seriously think it ever will, but just for argument’s sake. Maybe it’s really better this way.

    #235294
    Anonymous
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    Bridget, I will pray for you. You raise some difficult things, I only feel some things like this are intended for us to work out one on one with Heavenly Father, through the spirit. Some things may never make sense to us in this life.

    Like you, I love many of the LDS gospel teachings, and sometimes are put out by the imperfect people (including leaders) and some issues that I don’t fully understand. So I cling to the things that inspire me. I still see by the fruits, most things (not all) about the church produce good results (not perfect results).

    Perhaps that is part of the plan, despite things, this life is meant to give us experiences to stretch us and help us determine who we want to be…and so things will never fully make sense and fit into a nice little perfect package. And that package won’t be found in any religion, though we all seek it.

    I think it seems you and your husband are doing some good things, keep searching and talk about it together as you go.

    I hope that is encouraging. My heart goes out to you. I will keep praying.

    #235295
    Anonymous
    Guest

    What I love about your post Bridget, is that it highlights what I’ve been saying about doubts and objectionable ideas we encounter in our Church. You went looking in another Church and found things that bothered you there too.

    So, when people contemplating leaving the LDS Church (myself included), it always occurs to me that they will encounter a different set of doubts and concerns. So my attitude is to simply stay where I am for now. Granted, I don’t have the gay issue to work with as you do, but I take some comfort into the fact that Packer’s talk was edited on that subject. Also, the post about biological basis of homosexuality. Also the fact that good members of the Church are also struggling with the gay issue too; so you’re not alone.

    #235296
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thank you for all your comments so far. I feel your kindness and support for me. That kind of friendship and love for someone hurting, shines the love of Christ more to me than any stamped out doctrine. I was feeling such a deadness inside of me lately. There was no joy, no meaning or purpose to life and I was really depressed. I took a long nap this morning which helped and was reading my “Organic God’ book while sunbathing by my pool this morning. (sounds like a rough life huh?);-) It is a wonderful book that started answering some of my questions and gave me some hope. It is a book with a workbook for our Nazerene women’s group on Wed. nights. It is written by Maraget Steinberg, who had a Jewish father and Christian grandmother. As I was reading the book, it talked about how we can come to know God through Jesus. Then it asks the question: What do you love about Jesus? It is a powerful and beautiful question. What came to mind first for me is his outreach to those who were considered unlovable and unapproachable in his time. Like touching the hemmorraging woman. This brought to mind 1st Corinthains 13 on what Charity is (The true love of Christ). I have always loved that chapter as all the so called knowledgable, scholarly, and preaching in the world fall away and mean nothing without love. I may not be able to discern all truth, or what is in someone’s heart (like BKP), but I can see people’s actions and learn of their motivations and who really cares about me or is just trying to ‘save’ me so I don’t go to the telestial kingdom. Love is really the greatest commandment. So, if I see a young person being bullied or made fun of, I am responsbile to see what I can do to help. I can reach out and befriend the picked on kid or misfit in the church. So, I will continue meditating, reading, and talking to God for more answers.

    #235297
    Anonymous
    Guest

    You will be in my thoughts and prayers also, bridget.

    #235298
    Anonymous
    Guest

    A Big Thank You for all your prayers. They made a difference. I am feeling such peace since about 4 am this morning and slept well. The Spirit whispered to me while I lay in bed, “Zion is within.” It’s been repeating in my mind all morning. This tells me that Zion is not found in a church or from some person, but from God. It is the peace that surpasses all understanding. I had been watching the documentary BYU seriers on the JS papers yesterday that my sister in law had sent me in 7 CD’s, but they gave me no real answers or peace of mind. How you treat people is what seems to matter most.

    #235299
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Bridget, blessings to you.

    I was just thinking today of all my “recent” church visiting, and I realized that of all the churches, the only one I could say strictly had nothing “unhealthy” about it was the Quaker service. And that’s probably because they do nothing! 😆 And I didn’t choose that place to be my home away from home. It was the UU’s, with their looming, but resisted, hint of in-your-face liberalism, that won my presence with their hymns and affirming words.

    So I guess it’s the positives that draw us, and we gloss over the negatives. (I still think if I were mature enough I might have spent more time with the Quakers.)

    #235300
    Anonymous
    Guest

    doug wrote:

    Elder Packer’s talk has been edited, so his is obviously not the last word. I share your concern and angst over the other issues, but for whatever reason, today it’s not bothering me. Perhaps partially because of things like what I just mentioned. I initially dismissed redacting BKPs talk as disingenuous, but my wife’s reaction was to be excited. On further reflection, I can see that she has good reason to be. This is a tacit admission of two things: 1) some of the content of BKPs talk, in particular, was wrong, and 2) GAs sometimes make mistakes.

    Of course we already knew this in spades. The exciting part is that someone in the church hierarchy seems to know it, too, and is willing to go out on a bit of a limb — just a tiny bit — to make it right.

    Doug, I’m happy you’re able to see the positives in the change. I can see some positives, but there’s still a lot of ignorance out there. Today my HP group started off with a strong defense of and praise for Elder Packer’s talk. After several people voiced their affirmations and one brother in particular said he liked how the church’s stance is solid and unchanging, I couldn’t remain quiet any longer and pointed out that the transcript had been revised. Another brother pointed out that the change was insignificant and didn’t change the meaning of the talk. I agreed that the changes didn’t affect the meaning of the talk as a whole, but I pointed out that it was evidence of the church’s evolving stance on this issue and cited other examples of the church’s positions changing over the years, and it wound up igniting a mini-firestorm. 😳

    I’ve had mixed feelings on the talk since it was given. But to hear people say how loving it was, especially in light of all the recent suicides, caused me to break my silence and experience a stage 4 event unlike any I’ve experienced in awhile.

    #235301
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Thanks Tom and Steve. I know a father with a gay son, whose own father was the stake Patriarch and a Marine at one time. This Patriarch used to brag about what they did to gays when he was in the Marines. Then he finds out his favorite grandson is gay. It really humbled him. It’s so easy to rag on others that have no face to us.

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