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I guess I’m not dealing with a lot of the same issues other people are. On my mission I already went through a lot of the “anti Mormon” stuff. it was rough but I felt like I was being helped through it. Now I feel like it is just because it was something that I should have been doing, and because my family was proud of me, and because I was “Serving” people it made me feel good. My main issue I guess is starting from behind a lot of others. Please see my “Intro” for more in depth conversation about where I am spiritually. I guess my pain problem is I don’t believe at this point in my life God has answered any of my prayers. I don’t feel like he has ever showed he is there or cares. I have been to many different churches to see if I feel like he is answering to me in different churches however all of them make me feel the same, empty… Including the Mormon faith. However, I have no real PROBLEMS with the doctorine, teaches, priesthood, etc in the Mormon Faith. Well I do but it isn’t a “deal breaker” for me. I have tried fasting
Praying “all day” kind of thing like Enos
Going to the temple
Going to the temple GROUND when I don’t feel worthy to go into the temple (haven’t been going to church for about 8 months… haven’t been inside the TEMPLE for about 3 years… even though I’ve had a recommend didn’t feel like It was honorable to go the way I’m feeling)
Going to the stake president
Bishops
Blessings
Books
etc.
Nothing I have done really makes me feel like there is a God that is there or that he cares. Has anyone else felt this way? If so what did you do? or what are you doing.
Hi Marcus and welcome! Please excuse the shortness of this response. Personally I have had similar experiences, and for me I’ve learned to wonder if I’m asking the right questions.
It may help to take the time to consider — God is what “He” is, whether a cosmic force, an anthropomorphic all knowing being, a sense of right or love within us, or whatever.
My question is – are you looking to gain assurance of something that you want -– or are you honestly looking to discover what IS?
Peace be with you!
I have wondered if there is a god, of course, but I don’t think I have ever been to the point you are with that question. This is the way I think about it. If there is no God, then how was the earth created and life formed? The big bang theory is probably the best scientific explanation for the creation of the earth. But for me the probability for the big bang actually spontaneously occurring are infinitely small. I would say mathematically impossible. I go through essentially the same line of thinking for the creation of life. Did molecules, amino acid strains, etc. spontaneously combine to start life. I just think that it is less likely that these things occurred spontaneously than that there is a god. I think that it’s great that you’ve figured out your issue to this specificity.
I guess I’m kind of curious of what you want to have happen with this issue. Do you want to start to believe in God or not? I also think that if you expect that one day you will “know” that there is a God, that isn’t likely. That isn’t faith. Faith in god is recognizing that you don’t know that there is a god, but you choose to believe that there is a god and act accordingly. I think it is also important to understand that right now you are choosing to believe that there is no god. You are choosing that based on the evidences that you have, but it is a choice that you are making. I hope this framework for the issue might be helpful to you.
Good luck. I hope that things calm down for you and you find some peace.
I understand where you are at. I had felt like I received answers to prayers and that I had felt the spirit. But then I noticed those same feelings at other, non-spiritual times. Then I started having some historicity concerns and I also felt the “spirit” when praying that JS wasn’t a prophet and there is no need for Christ. It leaves me confused and wondering if God has ever answered any of my prayers. I question the usefulness of these “spiritual manifestations” as a source of truth. I’m stuck right now in discerning if it is that God has never answered my prayers and what I thought were answers were just my own feelings or that God sends me lots of spiritual manifestations but they don’t really have anything to do with “Truth”. Along the lines of Orson’s inquiry, what do you want from God when this being appears to you? Let’s say it happened tomorrow at lunch time, right in the middle of you eating a sandwich. All of a sudden God appears to you. He asks “OK already! What is it that you want from me? Why have you been calling me non-stop?” What will this do for you?
From my experience, we all have our challenges. I personally have not lost a sense of God, that something is there. Your problem is very common though, so don’t feel too bad. You seem like you are transitioning from the assumption of God’s existence, because everyone in your life “knew” He was there, to a true introspection/reflection and examination. You’ve noticed those people just feel some feelings, and that really isn’t anything different than feeling good (like when you see a good movie).
I don’t really know either. I just feel it. I can’t prove that is God. I am not even sure exactly what God is anymore, but I feel a sense of this transcendent presence. I also try to just take things as they are, trying to experience life. Was God there in my life? I think my life has been exactly what it needed to be, and makes me who I am. He/She/They (God) are there if I let myself see it.
Like Orson mentioned, perhaps it would work better if you look for God instead of holding on to expectations that this being is looking for you
I don’t know if this helps but kinda along the lines of what the others have said. If it’s important to you to have a personal relationship with God, shouldn’t YOU define God? If you’re looking for God in the places that other people tell you, you will find THEIR God, not necessarily your God. And, it doesn’t matter if God changes or not, because everyone is different, so everyone’s idea of God will be different as well.
There’s alot of mythical constructs of who God is, who we are in relation to Him, etc. but the one constant is the individual. Our lives are lived in our own heads through our eyes, interpreted by our mind, felt in our heart. God gives us this complete perspective or we give God a place in this perspective. God doesn’t change, our idea/ideal of Him is what changes.
That’s why I said in the other post, maybe God isn’t “out there” somewhere. Maybe he’s right there in your heart.
How are you doing with loving yourself? Are you being gentle in your thinking? Are you taking care of your needs to the best of your abilities? Are you loving yourself just like you might love a best friend or family member? I wonder too if you struggle receiving love from others. I have struggled to feel the love of God my whole life. I used to resent people who would stand up at church and describe how they felt the arms of God around them like a blanket. GAG! I certainly didn’t feel that way. I decided many things about this over the years. Maybe God picked favorites. Maybe others were just more loveable than me. Maybe I was more sinful than others and He couldn’t love me until I tried harder. Then I decided there wasn’t a God at all.
None of these thoughts was very loving. Don’t you agree? And none of them were true.
For me, I had to learn to love myself and how to do that and that it was ok to do that. When I did…when I really started to feel the love I had for myself, to my surprise I started to see the reality of God’s love and I can even say cheesy things about how it feels and they are actually true. Maybe we love God because he loved us first. But maybe we start feeling love when we learn how to extend it to ourselves. The more loving I am to myself, the more I am able to accept it when someone tries to love me, even if that someone is God.
marcus wrote:Nothing I have done really makes me feel like there is a God that is there or that he cares. Has anyone else felt this way? If so what did you do? or what are you doing.
I went through the exact same thing. Nothing worked, until I finally realized, if I keep doing the same thing and expect different results…you know what that says about me, right?
So instead of praying and reading scriptures…I changed my approach.
I started getting up to watch a sunrise, and read the Power of Myth by Joseph Campbell. Then I read some buddhism. Amazing how inspired I felt, and then I came back to the scriptures with a whole new outlook…and they meant more to me too. I found God more in nature than in church…but decided I wanted to be in church too, so I’m staying in my ward, just adding new things to my studies outside the typical standard works or curriculum.
To me, its made all the difference. Its not “all church” or “no church” … to me, its church with additional stuff I need personally to fill the gaps.
So far, I’ve added these books to my studies and am always looking for more:
-Power of Myth – Joseph Campbell
-David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism
-Rough Stone Rolling – Bushman
-The Four Agreements – Don Miguel Ruiz
-An American Gospel – Erik Reece
-Transitions – William Bridges
-The Great Transformation – Karen Armstrong
-Codependent No More – Melody Beattie
-The Shack – William Young
-The Articles of Faith – Talmadge
Just some suggestions of books I really liked.
I hope you don’t see any of the responses as attacks on your experience. That thought just occurred to me as I read through everything again. It is hard to set tone in online written posts. I was just thinking how a lot of us answered with questions. I hope you see that as gentle encouragement from others who struggle with similar feelings and experiences. We’re there for you! I have found that the best way for me to experience God is to become more like I want Him to be. When I am focused on repenting (meaning only changing in a positive manner), that is when I feel a sense of God the most strongly on an on-going basis. Hello guys, I wanted to just touch bases with you and let you know what was going on. I am currently listening to what was recommended (Fowler) stages of faith… and been looking at some other books or something that might work… any suggestions would be great.
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