‘Twas I; but ’tis not I

[Anonymous]

On Sunday our priesthood lesson was Elder Renlund’s April conference talk. I think April was an above average conference, especially the Sunday morning session (which this talk was not part of). FWIW I think October was a below average conference.

Anyway, we talked quite a bit about Renlund’s Shakespeare quote “‘Twas I; but ’tis not I.” Much of that conversation dealt with conversion to the church and the change brought about as a result. I have pondered it a bit since (taking time out from another pondering subject), and as I have done so I have realized that I can certainly say ’twas I but ’tis not I in relation to who I was before joining the church (almost exactly 34 years ago) and after. But I can also say ’twas i but ’tis not I since my faith crisis and subsequent transition – and perhaps even separately for crisis and transition. Then I wondered, if we’re not able to say ’twas I but ’tis not I perhaps a few times in our lives is there something wrong? I have learned gratitude for my crisis and transition, and like SunBeltRed said in another thread I no longer consider myself a doubter – ’twas I but ’tis not I.

Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

I missed the talk by Elder Renlund. Can you explain what is meant by “Twas I; but ’tis not I” ? both in the context that Elder Renlund used it and how you seem to be expanding upon it? Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Renlund’s talk was titled ‘Latter-day saints keep on trying” and was a gentle repentance kind of talk.

Quote:

This statement—“a saint is a sinner who keeps on trying”—should reassure and encourage members of the Church. Although we are referred to as “Latter-day Saints,” we sometimes flinch at this reference. The term Saints is commonly used to designate those who have achieved an elevated state of holiness or even perfection. And we know perfectly well that we are not perfect.

Midway through the talk Renlund says:

Quote:

The comedy As You Like It, written by the English playwright William Shakespeare, depicts a dramatic change in a character’s life. An older brother attempts to have his younger brother killed. Even knowing this, the younger brother saves his wicked brother from certain death. When the older brother learns of this undeserved compassion, he is totally and forever changed and has what he calls a “conversion.” Later several women approach the older brother and ask, “Was’t you that did so oft contrive to kill [your brother]?”

The older brother answers, “’Twas I; but ’tis not I: I do not shame to tell you what I was, since my conversion so sweetly tastes, being the thing I am.”

Hence why the class discussion, which was by no means bad, centered on the change in people’s lives as a result of the gospel or joining the church. There were in fact some very poignant personal experiences shared. I didn’t share mine, but I was a soldier when I joined the church – and I did what soldiers do. I was foul mouthed, I drank (a lot sometimes), smoked pot sometimes, and was sexually active. I didn’t realize that there had been a change in my personality after joining the church until one day in a “no rank” meeting where we were airing grievances someone brought up how rude I could be on occasion (I was a sergeant at the time). A senior sergeant actually came to my defense, basically saying “you don’t even know” and proceeding to lay out how I was much ruder before joining the church (which he specifically mentioned, and he was not a member). ‘Twas I but ’tis not I.

Likewise after my faith transition I can say ’twas I but ’tis not I as far as my TBM beliefs go. I have actually apologized to my children for the old hardline me that makes guys like Oaks and Bednar look like liberals. ‘Twas I but ’tis not I.

[Anonymous]

DarkJedi wrote:

FWIW I think October was a below average conference.

In reflecting over the last several years I’d say that October in general appears to be a bad time to hold conference. IMO most of the October conferences of late have been below average.

When I reflect back on my life I try not to get caught up in “what if I had done this or hadn’t done that.” I try to recognize how decisions I made in the past have led me to where I currently am. If I hadn’t done what I did in the past I wouldn’t be who I am today. This goes double for cases where no sin is involved, “to join the church or not to join the church, that is the question.” I also think it’s a part of progression, being able to look back, own my decisions, and build from those experiences.

I like looking back on my old self and thinking, “boy I was an idiot.” It indicates change. I suppose the past can also be useful in determining, “boy I am an idiot.” Like what Oliver likely thought in the moment where he had his change of heart. My past mindset was wrong, I’m hopefully trading it for something better. I can’t change my past but I can change my present. Etc.

I think it’s healthy to give ourselves the necessary space to change, even if the change is 180°. What’s more important is that we make the change that we feel is necessary, not in being internally consistent over a period of time. People are allowed to flip flop even if we don’t like it when our politicians do it.

[Anonymous]

Quote:

Then I wondered, if we’re not able to say ’twas I but ’tis not I perhaps a few times in our lives is there something wrong?

Yes.

Eternal progression should include mortality, or it loses much of its power and meaning.

[Anonymous]

DarkJedi wrote:

Likewise after my faith transition I can say ’twas I but ’tis not I as far as my TBM beliefs go. I have actually apologized to my children for the old hardline me that makes guys like Oaks and Bednar look like liberals. ‘Twas I but ’tis not I.

Me, too. It’s not easy to look back at that. I might not have been as doctrinaire as you’re talking about, but I had a very high expectations. (And here’s the problem; I probably still do. 😳 )

In the McConkie book he talks about needing a map for adult development, instead of acting like there’s child development, and then, voila, you’re done. There are ideas in there like “growing down” after you’ve grown up, and dying to your old self so the new one can be born.

[Author]

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