- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
Have you had any followup discussions with the bishop on your feelings? I think many times things can be said in the moment (bishops try their hardest, bless their pea-pickin hearts!), and if you validate with him what you heard is what he really believes, that might help sift out the things you heard wrong, from the things he said wrong and wants to reword it or apologize for, and things that just need more clarification to be understood better.
Regardless, you have to choose how your faith will be impacted through this tough experience you are going through. IMO, these are the times when faith is needed most…and when opportunities for growth are greatest.
Heber13 wrote:Have you had any followup discussions with the bishop on your feelings?
I think many times things can be said in the moment (bishops try their hardest, bless their pea-pickin hearts!), and if you validate with him what you heard is what he really believes, that might help sift out the things you heard wrong, from the things he said wrong and wants to reword it or apologize for, and things that just need more clarification to be understood better.
I haven’t had any follow up. I realize the way he said some things may have been harsher than he intended, but for the most part, except for the part about finding another place to worship it is all things he has said to me before in various different ways, so I know it is really how he feels.
First of all, I am sorry for what you are going through. It’s painful enough to go through a divorce. My POV is that this bishop needs to be corrected. Part of sustaining him is to help someone when they are really off track. This bishop needs some major help. You need to do what is best for you but I believe his SP needs to know about this and if the SP doesn’t support you, I think you should write a letter to the First Presidency. Of course, you know your situation better than anyone but this bishop is so out of line. You were exactly right to point out in the CHI where it tells bishop to exactly not do this kind of thing. I am SO sorry. This is an example of ecclesiastical abuse in my opinion and I’m concerned that if he would do this to one of his own counselors and friends he would certainly feel at liberty to abuse others. stealthbishop wrote:Part of sustaining him is to help someone when they are really off track. This bishop needs some major help. You need to do what is best for you but I believe his SP needs to know about this and if the SP doesn’t support you, I think you should write a letter to the First Presidency.
OK, I like this POV and I may just do that, but not right now. I’ve been in the middle of a few pissing matches recently where the SP tells me one thing and the Bishop tells me the opposite, both insisting it came from the Lord. Funny thing is, deep down I know which is correct, but convince myself otherwise sometimes. I’m just not ready to be in the middle of another pissing match between my priesthood leaders, as part of what I was told was in direct conflict with what the SP has previously told me. I realize it will most likely go nowhere, but I just wrote a letter and sent it to Salt Lake. I did not identify myself except with an email address, and in very generic terms asked what my church would advise me to do when two priesthood leaders give me opposite advice, both claim it came from the Lord and it will have serious negative impact on my eternity if I do not follow theirs. I can’t both do and not do the same thing! If I get a response, which I doubt, I will give it to the bishop. If I do not, when I am better prepared to be in the middle again, I will contact the SP
clahcrah wrote:I realize it will most likely go nowhere, but I just wrote a letter and sent it to Salt Lake. I did not identify myself except with an email address, and in very generic terms asked what my church would advise me to do when two priesthood leaders give me opposite advice, both claim it came from the Lord and it will have serious negative impact on my eternity if I do not follow theirs. I can’t both do and not do the same thing!
Wow, tough situation. I can only imagine working in Salt Lake and opening such a letter, honestly I would have to wonder if it was legit. I would think a serious call for help would contain a real name of an actual member somewhere. I realize the sensitivity, but if the issue is mostly leaders that disagree and not of your own doing why the shyness? Also, if I found myself in that situation I would plant myself in the SP’s office until he got the bishop in line. It is within his power afterall.
Quote:=”OrsonWow, tough situation. I can only imagine working in Salt Lake and opening such a letter, honestly I would have to wonder if it was legit. I would think a serious call for help would contain a real name of an actual member somewhere. I realize the sensitivity, but if the issue is mostly leaders that disagree and not of your own doing why the shyness? Also, if I found myself in that situation I would plant myself in the SP’s office until he got the bishop in line. It is within his power afterall.
Yeah, you’re probably right. I thought of that too and won’t be surprised or let it negatively affect me if I get no response at all. My thought when writing it was if I were on the receiving end of that letter I would wonder how any response would be misquoted, taken out of context and dragged through the media if it were planted by an anti. I wondered how I would answer it myself if I were on the receiving end. I suppose they could send an email stating they are concerned and to please call so and so at whatever number.
The reality is, it’s not shyness. Normally I would identify myself and go through the SP first, but right now I’m just not really prepared to weather another pissing match between two priesthood leaders. If I don’t get a response when I am more prepared I will go through the SP first, then resend the letter identifying myself if it doesn’t resolve. Also, I actually took a middle of the road approach. Since my email contains my first initial and last name I was going to set up a new unidentifiable one. I decided against it, as if they really wanted to look into it they could find me. I live in a small town. All they would have to do is look up my internet service provider named at the end of my email address, and they would find it served an area that only contained one ward with the next neighboring wards being 30 miles away in one direction and 60 in the other. I realize that is more trouble than they should have to go to, but if they were real serious about an answer and really wanted to contact me…well, lets just say I stopped writing here for a minute, using only my email address, went to the internet, typed in my service provider, went to lds.org, found the ward that serves the town that provider is in, went to the ward list in that ward and found myself, all in under 60 seconds.
An interesting addendum…Yeah, I did let it affect me and haven’t been going. I just had a 19 year old, who now lives in another town, but who grew up in our ward, spent a lot of time in my home, and who I love as I do my own kids, invite me to come out and attend church with him. He knew very little of what was going on when he asked.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.