- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
My thoughts are a bit unorganized. So I apologize for that but I’m sure some body will something of value in this mess. A quick review, a couple months back I was in full out crisis faith mode and I was worried about my future being a single guy who loved church values but I had hard time with orthodox lifestyle the church demanded from me. Since then, I chilled a little but I did hit a couple bumps on the road. I came out with my YSA branch president as a non literally believer but I said I wanted to stay with the church and make it work. He basically told me I couldn’t go to the temple until I believed again which destroyed my dreams of marrying a LDS lady. I was devastated and I learned the hard lesson about giving authority power over my faith journey. Just don’t take it lightly what you say to an church authority because they will mess up things.
Since then I mellowed a bit. I determine despite all the logic and my conclusions that god can’t exist… that I still believe in a god. My head said no but my feelings kept saying otherwise. It’s weird but it works for me now.
Since then I notice my faith has really changed over the last couple of weeks.
I know we are all different parts of our faith journey but I was wondering if anybody felt this way about the church.
The best way I can describe is this is church is this thing in my life. It’s not my life anymore. it’s a big blob of good and bad. I just take out the good and apply to my life and ignore the bad parts. If the church serves my needs, I go with it. When it hinders my needs, I just ignore it.
It’s a weird description, I know. But it’s something I’m really happy with. I’m still figuring out where my faith lies, but my faith does not control me emotionally anymore.
In short, faith is only small part of my life. There is more to life than faith and religion. There is my profession, my family, my friends, my hobbies, my physical health, my mental health and million other things. I should never let religion dictate EVERYTHING. Sure, it can help me along away in my life but I’m not going relay it for everything. It’s a shaky foundation. True foundation is my values that I have defined for myself.
One awesome thought I had is: My values are letting me define what church I belong to. Not other way around. (Church defines my values).
Has anyone felt like this?
Anyways, I figure I would share. Thank you for all of your support. Things have been doing great, I know it isn’t over. I know the moment my family finds out that I date a non LDS girl (still hoping for LDS but I’m managing expectations) or that I don’t feel like I need to be completely obedient to church it’s going to create heartache and problems. Right now, I’m just enjoying the ride because life should be joyful if I’m capable of it.
I think many here can relate. I think people here tend to state it something like taking control of one’s own spirituality (as opposed to letting the church do it). I was particularly interested in your statement about believing in God even though you don’t think there is a God and the change that came about because of that. A turning point in my own faith transition was similar to that, and I also noticed a difference – it’s actually what made me start to want to stay LDS. Sorry you learned the hard way about coming out to leaders – usually nothing good comes of doing that. Don’t give up on the idea of an LDS wife, though, if that’s what you want. There are more of us than you think.
It wasn’t until my faith “crisis” was nearly over and moved into a faith transition that I read James Fowler’s “Stages of Faith”. One of the points on moving a bit into stage 4 is where you see “authority”. I realized that internally I had absolutely moved from “I have to learn what the leaders/Christ (used to be nearly one in the same) said I needed to do” to “what do I think Ineed to do in order to be a good person?” Sounds like
I also agree that you don’t need to tell your leaders all your thoughts. It isn’t lying. They vast majority honestly can’t understand where we are at and how many of us might be showing MORE faith just going to church than some TBM’s. Show your current bishop that you are good and “trying”. He will be released. You might move at some point. You might very well be able to get back to recommend holding status.
But absolutely let someone you are getting serious with know where your heart and mind are before you get married. It isn’t fair to them to think they are getting a super TBM when they are not. And you will find there are single sisters that are not TBM’s.
Good luck!
I have no intentions in leading any LDS woman astray. Honesty is #1 thing I’m looking for in a woman, so it would make since that I didn’t hide it at all. I think your description is another way to say you are a cafeteria mormon…and you can be proud of that. As the Serenity Sci-Fi movie put it:
Quote:Shepherd Book: I don’t care what you believe in, just believe in it.
mczee wrote:My values are letting me define what church I belong to. Not other way around. (Church defines my values).
Yeah, this is pretty epic.
I am not defined by my belief in the LDS church, but neither am I defined by the things about the LDS church in which I doubt. I am so much more than what building I attend on Sundays.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.