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I received a phone call that I was no longer to go visit teaching . I was told to drop off the message to 8 no contact sisters. No contact meaning they requested no one from the church go over to their home. When I ask why this change was being made I was told to save postage.
I am barely active myself and feel that visit teaching was helping me to get to know the sisters in my ward. I voiced my concerns and now the RS president is up set with me. I am trying to attend my church meetings but find this situation very uncomfortable. I did have one sister I visit tell me I was a good visit teacher but she didn’t want me or anyone else to come visit her. This was reported to the RS President. I really want to keep being a visiting teacher It is the only calling I have. Is this how the Rs works in Utah? My husband doesn’t any type of calling not even home teaching. Anyone else ever been in this situation before? Is the RS suppose to have an activity monthly?
I welcome any advice. I really feel like the church in Utah has different rules than any other state I have live in. Thanks
Quote:I really feel like the church in Utah has different rules than any other state I have live in.
I have found this to some extent, but I’ve also found every ward I’ve been in to have its own rules to some extent – based on the bishop’s preferences or local ward history, or the stake president’s instructions. I’m not sure the ward I was in when I lived in Utah sounds like your description below, though.
I’ve been given Do Not Contact sisters before, and from my perspective, do not contact means do not contact them, not sneak up to their door and give them the message anyway. These might not be true Do Not Contacts (there are some that are marked that way in the church’s system). Maybe they just had a bad experience with a VT. I am confused why you wouldn’t just email them? That’s what we do in the wards I’ve been in for the last 10 years.
Also, what happened with the sister who said she didn’t want you to visit her? What was the reason given?
Basically, I would talk to the visiting teacher leader (the one who makes the assignments) and tell her what you want. They try to accommodate, at least in my experience.
She is mad at the church.I am not sure what happened. I am still trying to figure out the rules. I thought the rules were the same church wide. I like the e-mail Idea but my ward isn’t into using e-mail. The Relief Society president just announced that we will not being having monthly RS activities I think the activities are a good way to fellowship the less active sister. It helped me to get to know the other sisters.
Theoretically, Donna, we all are supposed to have the same rules – but the real world rarely works according to ideal theory. The Church is no different in that regard. It’s run by fallible, weak humans like you and I – so there always is a gap between what “should” be and what actually is. That gap is the area of unrealistic expectations, and it’s the unrealistic expectations that cause most of the angst and confusion – not the gap itself. Accept the gap and don’t fight it (except in extreme, truly destructive situations), and much (but not all) of the angst disappears. My guess, and it’s only a guess, is that the people you have been asked to visit don’t want to talk with people from the Church – for any number of reasons – but are OK with a message being left for them in some way or another. I know enough people like that (members who still want to be members – and even socialize with some active members – but who just don’t want to feel like they are being preached to or taught in any way), that I have no problem believing the people you mention (at least some of them) fit that category.
Sorry you are upset Donna. Have either you or your husband tried to go ask for different callings? Maybe just mention that you would love to help out more? Stay positive! I’m sure you will be able to work on getting aquatinted with your ward. No contact means no contact unless they change their minds. Totally agree. Our ward doesn’t really do email. One old guy forwards dozens of emails, and some people didn’t want to be on any email list because of this.
What exactly is the difference between HT and VT other than we give blessings and you don’t?
I did tell them that I still wanted to be a visit teacher. I am still waiting to see if they are going to keep me as a visit teacher. I am not comfortable going to people’s house who have ask to have no contact with the church. I hope they will work with me. If not I will ask for another calling. My husband told the Bishop last year he needed a calling. He still hasn’t got one. I think they should at least have him go home teaching. My husband is at the point he is going to volunteer in the community. I think it is really sad when you want to serve and are not given the opportunity. My husband is slowing going inactive. I don’t think it would take much to get him active again. A calling and a little fellowship.
I usually get assigned people who are less active, which is totally fine by me. I’d rather! In my current partnership, though, my partner is definitely hardcore TBM. She’s nice and all, but people who are on the fence aren’t going to like her. She approached one of our sisters who had said she didn’t want VTers, and according to my partner, the sister told her it would be a dangerous act to try to get closer to her (which is probably just a weird translation – my partner is Malay). Anyway, I could have told her no point being direct with her or trying to cram the message down, but some people just want to stick to the script. The RS president told her to keep trying (!), and I talked to the VT leader about it and said that was terrible advice. She agreed and switched us out. I agree with you Donna, but must admit when I HT, some of the less actives are delighted to see us. We know where each other’s coming from. They’re also less, well, correlated. No contact though means Just that. My HT partner can take no for an answer.
Ps Sorry about your husband. Sounds like bad leadership.
It is bad fellowship. I am not sure if they really know how to fellowship.I did not grow up in Utah and can really see a need to fellowship. For example if I am want to fellowship someone I invite them to a RS or ward activity. This meaning I offer them a ride. Some people call a person tell them about an activity not realizing the less active person may not feel comfort going alone. Another thing that can cause someone to get discourage is when they start coming back to church people want to know where they’ve been. There is always the click that won’t let anyone new join in. They are losing a lot of nice people. There really is a need for home teachers a lot for single sisters don’t them. I believe everyone that wants a calling should have one. Even if they are a door greeter do the,bulletin or some type of telephone job.
Thanks everyone for you input and support.
a friend – a responsibility – nurturing in the good word of God Sometimes, it really is that simple – but we humans are prone to over-thinking and complication.
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