- This topic is empty.
-
Posts
-
It actually did have a good effect….but it took 10 years. My son, now 25, had been working for his company for a year on a part time basis. He wanted full time as he wanted to marry his girlfriend and didn’t feel he could do that without steady employment. DS found another job, offering more money and full time. He went to his boss, and told the boss that he would be leaving unless they could give him full time, although he would be willing to continue at his current wage. The boss responds “well, you know we aren’t offering any full time positions right now….” silence, silence…..the boss says “I’ll see what I can do.” Next week DS is on full time.
DS is relating this story to DH and me, and thanks DH for teaching him the silence method. I say….”you know, you really learned that from the BP….so don’t tell me you never learned anything at church.” My son says. “going to church all those years never really hurt me.”
I almost fell on the floor. Prior to that, DS expressed that every ill that had ever come his way was because we made him go to church. Then he even went on to say that when he has kids, he might take them to church, and if he is going to church he might as well go to the LDS church.
If he does go back to church, I think he will not accept callings unless he is actually willing to do the work involved. So, in the short term the method was not successful. But in the long term it taught DS say what he will do, and then to do what he says.
You might argue, though, the that BP actually DID wait for an answer. His silence represents his willingness to let your son have agency in the decision. He waited for an answer, and your son finally agreed. The leader who doesn’t wait for an answer simply assigns work and expects it done — without getting any feedback from the person to whom s/he has assigned work. The BP waited for your son’s response, and he agreed.
We might question whether the salesy approach the Bishop used was fully respectful (it’s a sales technique I was taught years ago by a saleman who trained us FT missionaries how to commit people to baptism).
Also, when the announcement first came out that members were going to be cleaning the buildings I thought it was a good idea. I think it helps people gain more respect for the building and its care. I read a lot of people saying that their buildings are not as clean. I have not found that to be the case in our building. Our building is only about 10 years old, and so is easier to clean. In my ward, they send around a sign up sheet in PH and RS. Honestly, the same 4 or 5 families seem to volunteer. We are one of them. It seems to be the retired couples, or couples that do not have small children at home. In other words…it is a self selected group, whose family dynamics make cleaning the building on a Sat. morning doable.
It is actually kind of fun to visit with the other members in a relaxed atmosphere, not having to sit in a lesson or a meeting. We get done in under an hour if everyone shows. The brother that is in charge assigns himself the toilet cleaning….so no one ever complains about their job to him
🙄 That being said, I do think the church should employ janitors. In my ward, the same families that clean now would still be willing to help with weekly touch up in addition to a paid janitor.
Outofstep wrote:Also, when the announcement first came out that members were going to be cleaning the buildings I thought it was a good idea. I think it helps people gain more respect for the building and its care.
That was the reason they gave for it although I suspect there were economic reasons at its root too. I personally don’t like it. For much of my life I paid 10% of my income to be a member. It seemed ironic that I would also be responsible for taking on janitorial duties at the same time. And in my wards, it was always the same ten people doing the cleaning — along with all the hefty calling work. Things can be so backwards in our church.
i also commented on your son’s job acquisition above regarding the Bishop — we posted at the same time roughly — you might want to look at it…
DW came home from RS presidency meeting and relayed to me an interesting occurrence… They were divvying up assignments and DW said something about how she would check with me (her husband) to see if I would be ok watching the kids on a certain night.
The other counselor replied, “Well, he has to.”
On the surface this sounds like a jerky thing to say. Wouldn’t everyone agree that a marriage of communication, consideration, and compromise is the better way to go?
DW and I had a nice talk about how for some people church service is sacrosanct. Perhaps it doesn’t really qualify as an imposition on the marriage or the family because it is believed to be an imposition imposed by God that will bring copious blessings to all concerned by and by. For such individuals there isn’t much point in asking because it is assumed that the imposition will be born… unless you are turning apostate.
😈 This also reminded me of SD’s conversation with his daughter about the family being somewhat resentful of the time devoted to community work when there had not been any resentment over similar time commitments to church service.
Yes, I am watching the kids on the appointed night – but I really appreciate being asked.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.