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“Wear pants to church” campaign? Never heard of it. But I bet Mormon feminists don’t try to smoke cigars. Back to topic: I would never ditch a friend who was willing to be my friend. But there are some uncomfortable realities that I have to think through before I re-investigate the LDS church. I have a real-estate business partner who happens to be gay and who lives in another unit of a building that we jointly own. He and his same-sex partner will see me coming and going Sunday mornings in a suit (and pants) and will naturally ask where I am going, because such behavior is considered very odd here. He was a Protestant missionary in Latin America in his youth and is very interested in church things. I can’t lie to him, and yet if I tell him I am attending a Mormon church all you-know-what will break loose and our business relationship will become very frosty.
I didn’t mean to sound like I was shrugging off all my old friends. I’m just predicting a lot of uncomfortable conversations. Thanks for your support and advice, though… much appreciated!
Then don’t wear a suit to church. It’s not required. :thumbup: I understand what you mean. That is a bit scary.
If you proactively talk with him before you start attending and explain that you have been feeling a strong spiritual prompting to return to church activity, that it won’t change in the least the way you feel about him (and his partner), that you don’t want him to be blind-sided by it, that you know it will be difficult emotionally for both of you and that you hope he will support you even though you know it isn’t what he would want for you, do you think he will accept that?
I don’t know the answer, and it’s not a leading question. However, I would suggest strongly that you take the initiative and talk with him about it proactively. I don’t think you should even appear to be trying to hide it from him.
Old-Timer wrote:However, I would suggest strongly that you take the initiative and talk with him about it proactively. I don’t think you should even appear to be trying to hide it from him.
Very wise advice. If you’re not a patriarch, perhaps some day you should be.:angel: Hi Oasis :wave: What an interesting life you’ve lived. If I had to guess, I’d bet you were still on the membership rolls, too. At least in my neck of the woods, there is an attempt at face to face confirmation when someone declares their intent to terminate membership or refuses contact from the church.
I’m with Ray on the advice about spiritual impressions. I generally follow them to see where they lead. I know when I have a physical deficiency, my body craves the cure. Whether it’s sleep, exercise, or some nutritional element, I just feel pulled toward what I need. I don’t take in a lot of salt, for example, and about twice a year I will get insane cravings for sunflower seeds. I was in college when I realized my body was demanding missing nutrients. Same goes for red meat. My iron gets low and I start craving steak, a food for which I typically feel anything from ambivalence to abhorrence. My soul seems to operate on a similar principle. There are times I absolutely need to be touched by the spirit and enveloped in the love that permeates my faith community. There have also been times when I’ve felt pulled from the community to stand solitary on my own spiritual mountaintop, in front of my own burning bush. I rarely anticipate those impressions or cravings. I am not intuitive or attentive enough, I suppose, to see my own needs clearly. When they come, however, I heed them and doing so has served me well.
I think it’s important not to ignore a strong prompting. I didn’t grow up in the church. When I died from cardiac arrest and was brought back, I had a strong prompting to want something more than what I had in my life, hence I investigated the church. I have best friends who are gay and lesbian. They knows about my feeling and they respect my choices, even if they don’t agree with me. They are awesome people. My lesbian friend just found the love of her life and is moving in a few weeks and I’m so excited for her. I hope one day to have one of these ” I just know” experience when you meet the love of your life.
Back to topic, I don’t think you should be too worried about what other people thinks of you. We live in a great diversity society ( beside Utah lol) and we have came to the point we are very accepting of others.
I can relate about being too old to be a single in LDS culture. It is not easy but don’t let that get in the way of what is right for you.
I wish I wore pants on wear your pants day….
Wow, what an interesting story. Wherever your path leads, I hope you find balance & where you belong. My life is a balancing act right now at the moment as well. As for the strong pull back to the church, like several people have said, I try to act on them. Best of luck.
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