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I have never served a mission due to medical issues. I am 22 years old and a college student. I recently met this cute girl while I was studying in the lobby of my institute building. She’s served a mission and fits the typical nice lds girl mold. I really felt a connection and am hoping to see her again sometime. But basically, will girls like that give guys like me a chance? I think it depends on the type of person she is. I would wait until you’ve had several dates before bringing it up though. Then by that point you will have built your relationship a bit and she would probably be more understanding and wanting to give you a chance. Hopefully she won’t ask about your mission until you decide to bring it up. Eta: this is coming from a used-to-be TBM girl
Eta2: but I didn’t go on a mission
It really depends on the girl. I have a daughter who would. The rest of your life counts, too. A mission is only one part. As a woman who served a mission, I would certainly have considered dating a man who hadn’t served. Having served I know that the men who served are of such varying quality that it’s not exactly a great indicator that someone is a decent person! Plus, I grew up around non-LDS people, so I also know that there’s more to a person than their church experience. My wife served a mission and I asked her your question. She said she’d give a guy who hadn’t gone on a mission a chance. She said it would depend on the guy more than if he served a mission. It would depend on the person and the circumstances. I dated guys who went on missions and those who did not. The cultural perception is that a guy who didn’t serve a mission lacks drive and/ambition. That is the perception that you are fighting. So .. Don’t be that. Be a man who shows drive and ambition, but who did not to go on a mission.
Best wishes.
My daughter would (and does) date those who haven’t served missions. Heck, she dates non-members. Being an RM is not one of her criteria in seeking a spouse. She obviously doesn’t buy into some of the cultural ideals that some do. So, as everyone else has said, it depends on the individuals. I served but my wife also didn’t have mission service as a necessary criteria.
I don’t want to paint a rosy picture, though. There certainly are people it matters too.
All over the board – all along the spectrum – depends totally on the girl – etc. This is a different generation. Some things have changed less than others, but lots and lots and lots of things have changed and will continue to change. This is one of them, imo.
Sounds like a summary of the responses is, “we can’t tell you.” 
I would say you would do good to praise her for her willingness to serve a mission and bring up the issue why you were not able to do so. Consider being a bit vulnerable and saying that you do worry that great girls like her automatically take men like you off their list of acceptable marriage candidates without getting to know you. If she rejects you, best to know it before too long. But just as you are hoping she will give you a “chance”, give her a chance to know you and decide. Don’t be chicken to even try.
I disagree with LH. I wouldn’t bring up “marriage candidacy” at all. Just go have fun. So .. 2 different opinions on even what to talk about.
I would like to clarify my post a bit. I actually agree with the advice “go have some fun”. I was talking more about once you approach the topic (or she brings it up) how you might address it. But by all means, go do what you are supposed to do on dates – have fun and learn about each other.
hawkgrrrl wrote:As a woman who served a mission, I would certainly have considered dating a man who hadn’t served. Having served I know that the men who served are of such varying quality that it’s not exactly a great indicator that someone is a decent person! Plus, I grew up around non-LDS people, so I also know that there’s more to a person than their church experience.
I’d say my daughter would agree. I hope that more girls serving missions AND more girls feeling the judgment that sometimes accompanies not serving will result in all these kids seeing each other more clearly.
IMO, LDS singles are more focused on finding good marriage partners than is average. This results in some odd dynamics at times. I personally have been told by a girl that I was dating (2-3 consecutive dates) that she really liked me but she wasn’t feeling a confirming spirit when she prayed about me. In general, I believe that women are attracted to guys that would be good providers. Sometimes certain benchmarks/outward markers can be taken as a token of deeper value. If you have served a mission, a young woman might assume that you have a strong testimony. She might assume that you would be “worthy” to take her to the temple. She might assume that you are able to commit to something and stick with it when things get hard. She might assume that she could rely on you to be a spiritual leader in the home.
A mission is not the only benchmark out there. Are you dependable? Do you have a steady work history? Are you improving yourself through school or training? Do you have a dream and are working steadily to make it a reality? (I know you are going to school. These are rhetorical questions.) All of these things might be taken as a hint about how successful you might be in life and how well you might be able to provide.
Of course all women are different and we haven’t even touched on personality characteristics that might make one attractive such as a sense of humor, kindness, confidence, etc.
In dating I would recommend to play towards your strengths. Highlight and develop the things that you do well. The right woman will eventually take notice and gravitate towards you. It would not be doing you any favors if you were magically paired with someone who is not the right fit for you. Be patient and don’t try to force anything.
Just my $0.02
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