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Let me start off that my LDS membership isn’t as strong. I’m 22 and not even a Temple Recommend holder neither am I endowed. I really have no desire to remain very active; I mean for crying out loud I only go to an hour of church. But anyways, I’m really starting to like this girl but she’s not LDS. She’s very nice and sweet but I’m just not really sure how to do this. We are all children of God, and love knows no bounds. If neither you nor she is going to make an issue of religion then it wouldn’t seem to matter. I do know of a couple of successful interfaith marriages as well. If what you really want is a temple marriage then you should do yourself a favor and move on. DarkJedi wrote:We are all children of God, and love knows no bounds. If neither you nor she is going to make an issue of religion then it wouldn’t seem to matter. I do know of a couple of successful interfaith marriages as well. If what you really want is a temple marriage then you should do yourself a favor and move on.
A temple marriage really isn’t on my radarThe scriptures talk about not marrying someone that makes you “unequally yoked”, presumably in the church and gospel. Therefore, I think you should find someone who, if you marry them, will be “equally yoked” with you in the LDS experience. This may mean they don’t attend at all, support you in attending, but don’t make the lDS way part of the family culture if you have children. If you don’t really have a desire for temple marriage, and full activity for the rest of your life, then a non-member may well be the way to go. I would not discourage dating in that arena. However, you need to decide what kind of religious orientation, if any, that person should have, based on how you would like to see religion in your life going forward.
I love the idea of eternal marriage, but it obviously is symbolic of what can happen at the practical level – of people growing so close that they are inseparable or “sealed”. Why do I say it is symbolic? There are inseparable non-Mormon marriages and lousy marriages that have started in the temple, with people who are separated in many important ways even while still married.
Along with what has been said already, I offer one piece of advice that I believe is critical:
Don’t date or marry someone whom you intend to change into the person with whom you want to live. That “works” for some people, but it is a recipe for heartache and disappointment.
willb1993 wrote:She’s very nice and sweet but I’m just not really sure how to do this.
I think you look for long lasting, deep and rewarding relationships to experience in this life to be happy. Only you can decide what you want in that relationship.
But I don’t think we can limit ourselves to thinking there is only one limited little way to be happy…and everyone else in the world is unhappy.
A mixed faith relationship only presents problems if there are differences in expectations…like you want to go to the temple some day and she doesn’t and that becomes a sticking point.
Being happy will not be decided on if the relationship is mormon or non-mormon, but if it is healthy and rewarding, or not.
Possible outcomes:
– You become a great missionary and the truth of the gospel shines through you and she sees that and wants to learn more and get baptized and one day you take her to the temple.
or
– You stay as you are, not super active, and she never goes to church and you find you have so much more in common that it dwarfs the faith differnces (lots deal with that just fine and are happy)
or
– You find the faith issues are too much in difference and so the relationship can only go so far, but can’t last.
My sister married a muslim. Their faith differences are just fine because they are both good people. He supports her mormonism. She supports his muslim traditions. They are super happy and have a beautiful family.
God is greater than mormonism. Follow your heart and the spirit and have God guide you as you figure out your path to happiness.
Your marriage will be stronger if religion isn’t number one on your dating wish list. I’m not saying it doesn’t belong on your list at all, but not numero uno. Looking forward towards children .. Would you want them raised LDS? If yes, move on. If no, ask this lovely girl out ASAP.
willb1993 wrote:Let me start off that my LDS membership isn’t as strong. I’m 22 and not even a Temple Recommend holder neither am I endowed. I really have no desire to remain very active; I mean for crying out loud I only go to an hour of church. But anyways, I’m really starting to like this girl but she’s not LDS. She’s very nice and sweet but I’m just not really sure how to do this.
willb, life is too short. Ask her out. It doesn’t mean that marriage will result from one date. Then again, it might.
I’ve seen too many LDS temple marriages end in divorce. A temple marriage is no guarantee of a happy life together.
My only question is: does she know that you are LDS? It may make a difference with her.
Good luck.
Minyan Man wrote:My only question is: does she know that you are LDS? It may make a difference with her.
Wow…that’s an excellent question to make sure it is remembered in the equation!
:thumbup: Do what makes you happy. Mormon men aren’t the only good men around. Not by a long shot. But find someone who can control themselves.
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