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I was wondering this the other day….I am “active” now in that I attend church fairly regularly but am not serving with commitment or holding a TR. Until my most recent commitment loss (four years ago), I’ve always come back in full force — to TBM status. Not that it will happen this time, but in the past, it has. I have a question for everyone — when you have felt a desire to increase your commitment to living the gospel the way the Church teaches, what awakened that desire?
Examining the fruits. When I am honest with myself, I realize that I am happiest when I live the Gospel as the church teaches. I love myself and others more.
There have been catalysts, most recently it was the Mormon Channel and a call to serve in the EQ, which led me to pray again, for the first time in a while. Usually, though, it’s just a desire to be a better person.
It’s funny, I feel more committed now than I did before. TBM? I have a lot more uncertainty than ever before, but I’m just learning to embrace that. I think it can be a strength. It keeps me humble.
“We shall not cease from exploration
And the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started
And know the place for the first time.”
― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets
Relationships. When I have been most committed it was always because DW and I were embedded into the weave of the ward. Our best friends were the bishop or people we served with in presidencies. This made me serve harder because people that I cared about outside of church were counting on me. The more I serve the more embedded I became and the cycle continued. Now, there is not a single person in my ward that I would miss if I never saw them again. Don’t get me wrong there are some great people but I don’t have any connection with them outside of church. If they disapeared, their absense would not leave any hole/imprint in my life.
OTOH I would miss my friends at StayLDS. Why? because we have built up relationships.
About 10 years ago I moved to the United States and attended a Ward that was on fire with their doership. By Doership, I mean, they worked hard at the programs. There wasn’t a lot of deep friendship with anyone — they simply went about implementing very strong programs in a resolute way without any conflicts with others, simply doing what was necessary. It was unusual — even the Young Women’s program had a reputation for a the girls working hard along side each other, but without any deep friendships forming — but they all came to activities, and did a lot and seemed to enjoy each others’ company when they were at church. The Sunday lesssons were well prepared, and the people were very professional and capable — mostly small business owners, senior managers, professionals, with a good mix of more grassroots people like myself. When we would ask for Chapel cleaners, they priesthood meeting would be full of hands. There wasn’t any forced sign-up sheets, and the members showed up with their youth. I felt as if I was struggling to keep up with the admistrative talent I was exposed to.
Every Sunday my wife and I came home with a stronger desire to get our TR’s, pay tithing, and be active. I accepted a calling as a Sunday School President’s counselor, and eventually, was called into the Bishopric after about 4 months in the Ward.
So for me, it’s about the execution and achieving things. I think eventually I would have liked some deeper relationships, but it was inspiring to be around people who in my view, were much farther along than I was.
I agree with that SD. In my perspective, I participate in several churches that have better children’s programs than the LDS. If the LDS had great kids programs that would be an improvement and would increase my committment to a point. The value I get from the church would increase so the amount that I can sustainably give would increase. I suppose now that “the only true church” stuff is off the table for me then everything else is relative.
I agree with Roy, relationships play a big part for me. When I know that others in the ward have their own struggles & are working through them, it encourages me to do the same. It help me to trust these relationships & share what I’m going through. I’m very careful how I do that.
I don’t think we should be playing a role that is impossible to achieve. Such as: (TBM).
Also, I’m reading more. Good books & the scriptures. I’m understanding principles of the gospel on a completely different level.
Thanks to this forum.
I am trying to figure this one out myself SD. I would say that my two teenage daughters are a big reason right now. They are making good friends that have good values. When you live far from Utah, this becomes a trickier thing. I think Mormon Stories interviews with parents that raise their children in unorthodox ways and make the church work for them encourages me as well. Despite what the church says about John Dehlin, I credit Mormon Stories with helping me keep my sanity as I try and make the church work. Yes, children who engage with the gospel can be another source of commitment. My daughter is fully engaged, and wants to go to BYU soon. She attended a language camp there in the summer. She goes the temple whenever she can. I suppose when she gets married if she really begged me, I’d get at TR so I could support her. If not, I’d find some other big, compensating way of making up the lack of TR to her. Not sure how, but I’d have to navigate that one somehow.
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