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My belief that the LDS church isn’t the one, true church is fairly new to me. I am striving to get over the bitterness and reading many of the posts on this site have softened my view of the church considerably. I still attend church with my family…to be honest, my love for my family is the only reason I still go. However, I find church really difficult to sit through. The people are nice but I have a tough time with what is being said. Sunday school is tough because its D&C church history. I usually just put my head down. A teacher once mentioned that there were several versions of the first vision account and many members became really defensive. A lot members find my ward meetings to be the perfect place to preach the gospels of Beck and Hannity (it’s cool if you are into that, I just think church is the wrong place for that discussion). In short, the dialogue at church is not my favorite. If all of you could come with us to church I think I would actually look forward to church. Since that’s not realistic, I would like to know what you all do to find value or enjoyment in going to church?
As wl44 said, I also agree that the LDS Church is not the one, true church. I believe that is an entirely different animal altogether and if you are interested in that, the LDS Church may help you on the way to joining it – but it is not it. I value the LDS Church for the opportunity to serve with and associate with like-minded individuals. Even though I believe the leadership and many of them are deluded (and I’m sure people say the same about me), I still enjoy talking with them, giving someone a hug if they need it or a helping hand, praying, or doing anything I can to help them be better people. I believe in time Mormons will rediscover the truth underneath Mormonism and come to true knowledge of God. I know that will be a radical change for some of them, but I try to do my little part as best I can. I like the drive there, because it makes me feel good we are doing something as a family together. I like learning about the different personalities in the Ward, and seeing how they function operationally with the different programs succeeding, failing, starting, never finishing, and completing brilliantly, depending on the skills of the leaders. I enjoy taking my Kindle and reading material of interest during various meetings. At times, when I can’t handle the content, I will bring a fold-up chair and sit in a park area close to the chapel, but out of sight (it’s a public park) and read my Kindle or latest book on leadership, decision-making, business, personal effectiveness,music or something else that interests me. I clean out my wallet and appreciate the time for reflection and self-renewal. I am always busy, so mandatory time when I am not allowed to do much but reflective or quiet, routine matters has an unusual attraction to me. It’s like I have no excuse but to do almost nothing, so i don’t feel pressure. I am usually in my own little world through most meetings, however.
I occasionally enjoy asking questions that make people think, without causing a ruffle in the meeting. Kind of like, rocking the boat, without sinking the ship. it’s a gentle rock, however.
I like having my young son and daughter sitting next to me so I can put my arm around them during Sacrament meeting.
And of course, it makes my wife happy when I go.
That is of value.
Of course, if it was not an expectation that I go to church, then I wouldn’t go, but at least, when there, these things make it easier.
I’m with family the next few days for my father’s funeral and am checking in when I can. I don’t have time to write a good response to the question, but I will look for a thread that deals with this exact and provide a link, if I can carve out the time. [
Admin Note:]Quote:“Even though I believe the leadership and many of them are deluded . . . I believe in time Mormons will rediscover the truth underneath Mormonism and come to true knowledge of God . . . I can to help them be better people.”
Be careful, Tobin. You are on thin ice right now. This site is about helping people stay LDS. Broadly claiming Mormons are deluded and someday will come to know God better, as you know God, don’t fly here.
I appreciate those who have pointed out attending with family. That’s something I miss and a motivating reason for me to return to church. I do miss the “fellowship” if that’s the right word for it – the socialization with people who hold like values. And there certainly are opportunities to learn there, I just have to learn to appropriately filter it and I hope I can. wl44 wrote:A lot members find my ward meetings to be the perfect place to preach the gospels of Beck and Hannity
I honestly haven’t heard to much of this at church, per se. I have heard it now and then at church activities, though never during sunday sessions. I am a card carrying right wing lunatic, so that could be why they speak of this to me during the activities portion.wl44 wrote:In short, the dialogue at church is not my favorite.
The only value, like others before have mentioned, at least in part, is that is where my wife goes with my child. Therefore, keeping peace and consistency in the family, I attend. There are teachings I agree with the church, though those same teachings are found elsewhere as well.I am a very strong proponent of teaching children values. I have a little girl who I am trying to teach values. (side note: I learned my way of teaching values from
Strong Fathers Strong Daughtersby Meg Meeker.) I am also a very strong proponent of taking care of your body (fits kind of to the Modern Words of Wisdom … I say modern, because what is now the WoW is not what is in the D&C).
That is about it, that I can think of now. More may pop into my head later on, but most likely I’ll be driving somewhere and can’t post it. Though, ain’t that how life is!
The underlying / over-arching theology The fellowship with people I love, even though I don’t agree with everyting all of them believe
My Bishop – a truly wonderful man
The emphasis on families, even though it also creates its own issues that I believe we have to address better
This site
There’s more, but I’ll try to get back to add them when I can.
Old-Timer wrote:My Bishop – a truly wonderful man
Aren’t you the bishop?
You just have take what you like and ignore the rest. For me that means ignoring all the doctrine and petty rules. I do like the friends I have there and I feel as good at church as I do bad. I will agree SS this year has been excruciating. So much faith promoting fiction has been taught it gets nauseating. It has been difficult to keep my mouth shut but I am getting better at it. I go to church when I feel like it and don’t when I want to do something else. I do not pay tithing much but I like fast offerings. Wear Garments on Sunday only. I teach once a month which is sort of fun to get some old men thinking, but I will not take any calling I do not want to do, or makes me attend every Sunday. So the value I find in the church is by just picking and choosing how engaged I want to be. I must admit I do not believe any of it, but it is the culture I grew up in and am somewhat comfortable in. If others want to believe something that seems obviously fiction to me, who am I to say I am right and they are wrong, even though I think it is quote obvious.
The only way this works is to fly under the radar. Do not tell members in your ward how you feel it will only lead to trouble. I figure if you show up about half the time no one will be the wiser. They will not notice the times you are gone.
It’s hard attending church when you don’t believe. For me, I find it difficult to listen to the lessons and talks without constantly criticizing what’s being said, albeit quietly in my own mind. Although we’ll be ending our attendance as a family soon, things that have made it easier for me lately have been to bring my reading for school on my tablet and read that when the lesson gets a bit too much for me, focusing on the people there and the ways being members of the church has helped them, and finding ways to add to the discussion that challenge peoples’ assumptions and thinking in a very gentle way. I never say anything with the purpose of killing anyone’s belief. Rather, I try to bring up points of view that aren’t always represented. If your spouse and family are TBM, then try to focus on how you’re supporting them and showing your love and support by attending with them and spending that time with them.
Quote:Aren’t you the bishop?
I count it as one of the greatest blessings of my life that I can and always have been able to say, resoundingly, “No.”
wl44 wrote:I would like to know what you all do to find value or enjoyment in going to church?
There is a lot that I hide now, but in some ways my loss of (I guess you call it) orthodox faith has freed me to be more open on a personal level. I enjoy people more. I feel like “the worst” or almost the worst that can happen
hashappened, and it’s been a relief on one level to have all my uptightness about how X,Y or Z should go at church vanish. Old-Timer wrote:The underlying / over-arching theology
The fellowship with people I love, even though I don’t agree with everyting all of them believe
My Bishop – a truly wonderful man
+1 on all of this
I may gripe and complain too much at times on forums like this and NOM, but deep down I’m just a Mormon. Not doctrinally, not in all my actions, but in my heart. I just like going to church (albeit not every Sunday!) with other Mormons. No other religious “scratch” gets to my itch.
Tobin wrote:As wl44 said, I also agree that the LDS Church is not the one, true church. I believe that is an entirely different animal altogether and if you are interested in that, the LDS Church may help you on the way to joining it – but it is not it. I value the LDS Church for the opportunity to serve with and associate with like-minded individuals. Even though I believe the leadership and many of them are deluded (and I’m sure people say the same about me), I still enjoy talking with them, giving someone a hug if they need it or a helping hand, praying, or doing anything I can to help them be better people. I believe in time Mormons will rediscover the truth underneath Mormonism and come to true knowledge of God. I know that will be a radical change for some of them, but I try to do my little part as best I can.
Hi Tobin, I’m happy to believe that you’ve found a perspective of God that works and is true for you. If this makes attendance at any given church of your choice more positive then that’s fine too.
But the idea that anyone whose idea does not align with yours is deluded is pretty offensive.
See, when I read Tobin’s use of the word deluded, I didn’t think it was offensive. It means to deceive oneself. I think this is unintentional with most members, and I think I was guilty of it myself at one time (and maybe even now). Cognitive dissonance, rationalization, protecting one’s mind from the anxiety of facts that conflict with time-honored gospel or cultural beliefs — these are all forms of mental gymnastics we talk about regularly here, so I don’t see why it’s offensive. Perhaps its the fact that deluded is an emotionally charged word that spawned the negative reactions.
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