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Our God and gospel are ones of paradox. We gain salvation through meekness, free choice through obedience; the still small voice from the master of Heaven, beauty in the mundane, boredom in the profound, our most spiritual places decked out like hotels… Heber13 wrote:I have let go of the former self-authored stories of God directly intervening in my life, and I have let go of the need to find evidences of it by ascribing daily events through that filter that the God of the Universe is concerned with which job I take or how to overcome stressful family situations.
Heber, I like how you’ve put this all.And the above reminds me of a quote that sums up how I’ve felt lately: “I’ve given up my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.”
I believe as Moses, Socrates & others discovered – that man really is nothing – we don’t know much! We cannot help but think in subjectively limited (illusional) ways. We might as well have our illusions/beliefs work for us rather than against us. Remembering this helps me empathize with members, even when I see cognitive distortion galore.
Quote:I expect from Him the freedom to choose and to work things out so I can get experience in this life, not the right answers (which I expect He cares little about). Part of that experience will come through passing through the refining fire or roll down the hill to smooth out some rough edges I have.
We are works in progress! Ooh – and how painful that process can be when we feel, and how sweet or hillarious it can be in retrospect.Quote:I expect God is governing the plan, and that He knows I will gain experience in this life by trying to become a good person, and that the guidance He provides (scripture) will help point in a good direction while I figure it out. I expect from Him the autonomy to work out my life without Him having to micro-manage my life.
I also believe that there is a governing plan for me, and each person – but it’s an overall plan, not specific protocol.
Sometimes I’m hesistant what I pray for, because I realize the “kingdom (realm/experience) of God is within” me & so when I pray for something, it is as if I’m asking myself “and what are you going to do to help make this happen”? Sometimes I’d rather others take up the baton & give me a break.
God is no longer a “He” only, but now Heavenly Father and Mother, although I sometimes find myself reverting to the old habit.
I expect from God, both masculine and feminine power, guidance and love.
Quote:I expect God’s goodness is great enough that the hope for it helps motivate me to love my fellow brothers and sisters around me, because others need to feel that goodness. I expect from God that He will stay His hand enough to allow me to lift where I stand, to be His hands, and to reflect His love to others and to develop relationships with others that are meaningful in my life.
I love that!
It reminds me of how Mother Teresa was able to do so much more to help and love & serve others, because she imagined them to be Christ. Jesus is the personification of spirituality – a way to make God more personal, but also runs the risk of “having other gods before God” – especially when Jesus is portrayed in a corrupt way (ie inquisition/crucsdes).
Quote:I expect from Him to judge my heart, and how I love others and choose to sacrifice things for better future things, like character and charity.
I expect from God that He loves me.
This reminds me of 2 of the main aspects of God… which can be symbolized in the 3 characters met on the yellow brick road in Wizard of Oz… Brain (Scarecrow), Heart (Tin Man)… & Courage/Will (Lion).Maybe it is because I have been so focused on intellect, but I am believing more that love/spirit/e-motion (energy in motion) are more important than the others, because desire/faith is the prerequisit for the other two.
Nothing. I expect absolutely nothing. I kind of fell off the wagon when I had this premonition my son was going to get sick when he was about 4 years of age. I had this uncanny fear that something was going to happen as he was very accident prone. I remember kneeling at the end of his bed as he slept and asked God to keep him healthy throughout his life. I would do certain things and keep certain commitments in return.
At the age of 6 he got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. This has opened the door to all kinds of neuroticism and fear about life in this boy. Poor kid. He doesnt’ manage it well (he is 10) and its an ongoing struggle and huge drain on our family to keep him in compliance with his insulin injections and blood sugar tests.
I think this led to part of me giving up with expecting covenent-keeping to pan out with blessings, or for God to really watch over us due to our faithfulness. I prepare for the day when he is amputated or blind or has other health problems just in case….but I have no expectations God will intervene to help him, or my family with this disease.
This is part of the reason I don’t feel much obligation to pay tithing either. The church has shown me over and over and over again across multiple leaders — that they are not there for you when you need them — even on issues of deep import that are at the heart of the gospel. They will expect and almost demand tithing for your whole life, but when the chips are down, there is a strong reluctance and “holding back” to give help. I call it the “one-way flow” where the church expects all this commitment, time and money given freely, with no sense of accountability to the members for their deep sacrifices. This “one-way flow” has occurred in my life with each major event since I joined the church as a Young Adult — mission, adoption, calls and releases when I was suffering with depression — you name it. The the church — the supposed extension of God and Christ on earth — is very tight fisted (I have never asked for welfare assistance so far…and plan never to ask for it either. I don’t even ask anyone to help me move anymore).
It is liberating to realize this life is one in which you do your best, prepare for those rainy days, and realize good and bad things happen to everyone – -the faithful or not.
I have no expectations of God now. And I don’t feel much obligation to him — at least, not the kind of obligation the church expects. But I feel I have a duty to live my life honestly and to be a good person. I expect that of myself and think God must appreciate the effort….
SilentDawning wrote:At the age of 6 he got diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. This has opened the door to all kinds of neuroticism and fear about life in this boy. Poor kid. He doesnt’ manage it well (he is 10) and its an ongoing struggle and huge drain on our family to keep him in compliance with his insulin injections and blood sugar tests.
I’m sorry for your trouble SD. Nobody deserves that. Least of all a kid that hadn’t even reached the age of accountability.
When I was a teen there was a family that took me in and became a second family to me. The youngest boy got the short end of the gene pool stick and had all sorts of problems. Bad eyes, rotting teeth, etc. but the worst part was that he had this recuring tumor in his nasal cavity. They kept having it removed by going through his palate. Then 4-6 months recovery, Then he was good for 2-3 years until the tumor would grow back. This happened 3 times in the time before I lost contact with this family.
This experience could have rocked my assumptions about God and a Just World Hypothesis, but they didn’t. It just wasn’t close enough to me.
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