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If you had to describe what you think a TMB household looks like (or looked like), what would you say? For me, a TBM household is one that existed before Google existed.
When it seemed that every Mormon household “looked” the same…
family home evening file folder groups were the “thing”,
Mormon Doctrinewas in every home, “Follow the Prophet” meant exactly that,
every woman wore pantyhose AND a slip,
Temple Night was the big event of the month,
Homemaking was just that and was a joy to attend, without fail,
the biggest debate we had was whether we tithe on gross or net,
Institute and EFY were the dreams of all youth (aside from their PB),
and we never, ever missed church.
For me, a TBM household existed before Google told us to question things we didn’t know we should question.
To be fair, many of my questions came about before google, but so many more came after.
But, how about you…
The first thing that pops in my head… I think the concept of the TBM household may be a 50s sitcom portrayal of family life but the reality might look more like an episode of Roseanne.
Yep – 1950’s (minus dad with a pipe). A feeling of “us against the wicked world – we know something they don’t. Pity them.”
I keep laughing at “don’t trust the Internet.” Granted I found out some stuff via the Internet, but that stuff has intrigued me to go and read books like I never have before. So it is more the details in the books that have shaken my faith more than the wild wild Internet. And a bit of the history of the printing press makes me realize that when books came about (then literacy after that) it caused huge changes in the power structure. I remember watching the BYU program on the creation of the KJV of the bible and how in England it was illegal to have a bible in English in your possession. What??
Great list. In many ways it does represent the way things were. What does a TBM household look like now? I believe they still exist. I also believe the transformation of religious households has been affected even before google. I grew up very TBM, and loved it. Seriously. Life had order, structure, focus. Life also wasn’t just about my religion. I grew up outside the corridor, being LDS wasn’t the only game in town. Maybe it was my ward or my geographic area, but every one had other life pursuits, we were athletes, inventors, creators. Now I feel like our being Mormon comes first, everything else is an appendage.
I was beginning to feel it even before FC. I feel like catalog shopping, deseret book 1-800-, BYU-TV, and more have changed the household. Now we have Deseret Book Kitsch for art, we wear BYU gear, we hang pictures of temples and Jesus in our homes. No Mormon had that when I was growing up. In fact even people of other religions didn’t have religious art like they do now.
I miss when Mormonism was fun. When ward dinners were a social delight, not a missionary moment. I miss when wearing shorts to mutual was just fine and the activity was a driving scavenger hunt. I miss classes called Cultural Arts and Education. I miss the old personal progress program. The one that encouraged me to make a batch of cookies and take them to a shut in neighbor, or take a bike ride and notice all the beautiful things God created.
I miss when Mormonism was a portion of me, not a definer of me, even among my LDS peers and ward.
One other thought is that I remember it just being not so dang busy – even when we didn’t have all of the cell phones and such. But that isn’t just Mormonism – that is a social trend. I hear what you mean mom. Many of the things we used to do just to socialize are gone. That whole “every event must have a gospel purpose” squashed much of the fun things. Now we have meetings that the sole purpose is to try the patience of people as a near-Job experience.
When I think of a TBM family, I envision: 8 kids, 5 years worth of wheat, and a van Maybe I’m channeling BKP, but sometimes I think that Mormonism was easier when things were cut and dry…when interracial marriages were frowned upon, when gays were not really part of our discussion, when single teen moms were sent away to have their babies… It seems that when we started to be “all inclusive”, things got messy.
To be fair, I’m not saying that I agree or disagree with the above, but it just seems like it WAS an “us vs. them” mentality and maybe there was some comfort in that for me. At least, I felt like there were boundaries. Now, the boundary lines are blurred and I sometimes don’t know what separates us from other religions.
If the gospel is simply: Love God and Love Others…then what do we have that other religions don’t have? The priesthood for baptisms?
Since I don’t care for D&C 132 (not sure it came from the Lord), I also have to realize that if we dismissed that section, we also dismiss the teaching of eternal marriage. If that’s the case, then we really don’t have much that other religions don’t have.
We’ve talked and talked about what IS the restored gospel.
No one really seems to have a clear answer.
I Could never be a missionary – I wouldn’t even know what I would be selling.
There is no clear, objective description, since many people who are wildly different in multiple ways are deeply believing, active Mormons. I am a deeply believing, active Mormon. Some of my friends would call me TBM; others believe I am bordering on apostate (with a few believing I have crossed the line).
Old-Timer wrote:There is no clear, objective description, since many people who are wildly different in multiple ways are deeply believing, active Mormons.
I am a deeply believing, active Mormon. Some of my friends would call me TBM; others believe I am bordering on apostate (with a few believing I have crossed the line).
Agreerichalger wrote:Old-Timer wrote:I am a deeply believing, active Mormon. Some of my friends would call me TBM; others believe I am bordering on apostate (with a few believing I have crossed the line).
AgreeI agree too! I consider myself to be Ray’s friend and he is way over the line “into left field” apostate.
:thumbup: (sarcasm; just one of the services I offer):thumbup: I wouldn’t know what “TBM” would have meant without google. 🙂 I would have assumed most mormon families were like my family, until I got older and experienced the world.Perhaps times were simpler in some ways, but I believe society has progressed.
I believe all generations have had TBMs, faith crises, dark nights of the soul, cognitive dissonance, faith transitions, stages of faith, the refiner’s fire…..there were just different ways to tell those stories with different meanings behind the why and what…but the same journey for all to find themselves.
TBM is what you think others look like or are…every family…when inside the family…is aware of the challenges and trials dealt with, and the uniqueness of individual circumstances.
Heber13 wrote:I believe all generations have had TBMs, faith crises, dark nights of the soul, cognitive dissonance, faith transitions, stages of faith, the refiner’s fire…..there were just different ways to tell those stories with different meanings behind the why and what…but the same journey for all to find themselves.
I just listened to some old podcast and they mentioned how several decades ago people were going through faith crisis when they grew up taking the bible very literally and believed the earth was 6K years old. Then when they went to college and found very strong evidence that wasn’t the case they were in a faith crisis and some left the faith over it. I do think it has been going on for a long time.Exactly, LH. In the early 1800s, there were TB-Christian families. Joseph Smith’s family was not one of them. He questioned. He broke the mold. He showed us an example of why God wants us to search for truth. He restored some truth, for which I’m grateful for it.
But Emma and his son were not TBM. Brigham Young was. Oliver Cowdery was, but differently.
These things we experience have always been.
Our generation how our story to it…and it involves the Internet…but the questions underneath have been experienced by all generations. For me, the light bulb went on when I realized James Fowler’s Stages of Faith were about all religions.
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