What does it mean to stay LDS?

[Anonymous]

I’m a Mormon. We here are all Mormons. As the Book of Mormon musical says, “We are all Latter-Day Saints, all of us. Even if we change some things, or break the rules, or have complete doubt that God exists.”

As my demythologizing became more complete, I found within me a secular humanist, the person I would have been if I had not been raised Mormon and had been raised a secular humanist. Finding that was a very unique experience. It was a person that I knew how to be, even though I had never been that. I got back in touch with the child in me who never believed in God, the child that was fascinated with nature and the natural world. I do not have any recollection of belief in God until I was about 12 years old. As far as I can tell, though I was raised in the Church, I was an atheist until after puberty. I don’t even have any recollection of my baptism, even though I have a good memory.

So I am a Mormon. And I am a humanist. As I’ve returned to the Church, the Mormon in me has come back. I know how to be that person. And I’m much more authentic than I was before. I was pretty fake as a TBM and I wasn’t very comfortable with myself. I once had someone tell me that I appeared to them as “a bad actor who had not yet become comfortable with his role.” So I was fake. Now I am more honest with myself and more authentic. Which is why I keep my mouth shut at church. 🙂

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