What I learned from 100 days of rejection.

[Anonymous]

I, periodically receive talks from Ted Talks. This is one of them I think we can apply to our FC.

This talk is based on the idea that rejection is painful. We try to avoid it at all costs.

The speaker is: Jia Jiang. He is from China & immigrated to the US.

The examples he gives are interesting & humorous.

As I listened to it, I thought is there application to how we face our FC & is there an exercise to desensitize ourselves?

The purpose is to deliberately look for rejection & to learn something from the experiences.

What can we do to personally desensitize ourselves from things like:

– Challenging doctrine?

– Asking questions that don’t fit the typical lesson plan? (Sunday School or HT)

– Can I desensitize myself by as asking why after the initial rejection?

The point is to expect, challenge & learn from the experience of rejection.

I am interested what you think. If you don’t think it has an application to us, if not pass by. I won’t feel rejected.

http://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection?utm_source=newsletter_daily&utm_campaign=daily&utm_medium=email&utm_content=button__2016-12-07

[Anonymous]

I think that’s why some RMs find success in sales after their mission. The ones that find success probably got accustomed to dealing with all the rejection, they asked the whys, they didn’t run away at the first sign of things going south.

Is it easier to process rejection when we fully expect to be rejected going in? He started out with silly things but eventually worked his way up to where he had an expectation of not being rejected, in some cases he was persistent, he kept asking until he wasn’t rejected.

In one part of the talk he mentions gaining people’s trust by calling out their doubts. “Is that weird?” It reminds me of coming out to DW. I came out but I also spend a considerable amount of time addressing what I imagined to be her doubts. It helped put us on a more even playing field.

He turned what he once viewed as a curse into a gift. I feel that way about my faith crisis, maybe not in the throes of a crisis but most certainly now.

Minyan Man wrote:

– Challenging doctrine?

– Asking questions that don’t fit the typical lesson plan? (Sunday School or HT)

– Can I desensitize myself by as asking why after the initial rejection?

It may be challenging to do. It could get to the point where everyone goes 🙄 the instant you raise your hand at church.

A burger refill… oh man. 😆 If I didn’t have such crippling social anxiety I’d try that one day. Crippling social anxiety exposure therapy? I don’t know whether I want to have a ‘what I learned from 100 days of trying to be social’ blog.

[Anonymous]

The other day in SS, the lesson was about the challenges we face in life & how we should ask “what would Jesus do?”

I finally couldn’t take it anymore & said that our life experiences are a wide spectrum of emotion. From everyday annoyances to crippling fear and everything in between.

At the outside extreme the last thing I ask is “what would Jesus do?”. At that extreme I want revenge & could easily justify it. It has happened to me really only once. (so far)

My point was in a congregation our size (300+) we really don’t know what individual members are going through. We should never make them feel guilty when the extreme

happens by saying “what would Jesus do” as a gospel solution to a heavy problem. Another point was they have to talk about it. The problem has to be exercised by talking to

a professional or a good friend.

We have to listen & show empathy. Not necessarily come up with the solution unless asked: “What would you do?”

We have to speak up more & risk the uncomfortable silence or criticism. It takes practice & diplomacy.

[Anonymous]

I had this come up in my list of podcasts. It was a good podcast. I had the same thought. About 2 months ago I came out to my wife. I was SO stressed about telling her I didn’t consider myself as one that believes in the church. I am usually a courageous person (or have become that way over the last few decades). Guess what. It wasn’t the end of the world and as I assumed it does not look like she is going to leave me.

When I listened to this it also reminded me of the courage to let others know your (lack of) belief. It does take courage, but as you do it more you grow from it and it gets easier.

[Anonymous]

Along the line of this topic, this is an article in the Huffington Post. I believe it has application in a FC.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-travis-bradberry/10-unmistakable-habits-of_b_13772102.html

In summary, it says:

Quote:

Authentic people are deeply in tune with who they are and what they want. Their ability to live their life in harmony with their true selves comes from some clearly discernible habits that any of us can study and incorporate into our repertoire.

Quote:

1. They help others to be their authentic selves.

2. They let go of negative people.

3. They express their true feelings and opinions, even when they’re not popular.

4. They are confident.

5. They prefer deep conversations to meaningless chatter.

6. They don’t take anyone’s advice without evaluation it carefully first.

7. They don’t complain about their problems.

8. They’re internally motivated.

9. They make the best out of any situation.

10. They don’t get stressed or upset when someone doesn’t like them.

This is a bit of fluff piece. I don’t know if I believe everything included in the article. In the coming year I want to be more

authentic in my beliefs & treat people around me with more honesty. I can’t continue to be silent in church anymore.

I want to do it in a way that is honest & not offend. If that’s possible. (A New Year’s Resolution) FWIW

[Author]

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