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It’s hard to answer, not knowing more about the situation. But if the main objection is knocking doors, I would say just cowboy up and do it. It’s a part of Mormon culture, it’s an expectation, or a rite of passage in Mormonism. He shouldn’t let himself get bullied into it, but also it’s fair for Mormon culture/families to have this expectation of it’s men. If it turns out to be a disaster he can always call it quits–which I don’t think has any more stigma than not going. But who knows, he might like it, or at least persevere through the challenge of it. I say give it a shot, unless he is the type that will just do damage to the effort. I am exactly the personality type that hates knocking on doors, yet that is what I did daily for 2 years. Maybe the hardest part for me was being expected to use salesman-like tactics–but I eventually figured out how to deal with that. Knocking doors wasn’t as bad as I thought and there were other parts that more than made it worth it.
allquieton wrote:It’s a part of Mormon culture, it’s an expectation, or a rite of passage in Mormonism. He shouldn’t let himself get bullied into it. But who knows, he might like it, or at least persevere through the challenge of it. .
Perhaps the problem is he knows himself too well. Some have always known since they were young what they wanted to be, “When I grow up I will be a doctor … a pilot … a rocket scientist.” Well that’s my friend, he cant give up what he loves and his passion to just endure and persevere a cultural expectation for two years. Of course I am non-traditionalist here but the reality of it is I when I tell my child to believe in themselves, that they can be anything and don’t let anyone or anything stop them (including cultural expectations) I see some parallels here.
There is “being true to yourself” and then there is a separate emotional reaction and interpretations that others have from straying from the norm. People can interpret this as rejecting the church or sinning, everyone is entitled their opinions but I think the world would be a better if everyone lived their passion.
A task without a vision is drudgery
A vision without a task is but a dream
but a vision with a task is the hope of the world.
“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself” Quote by Friedrich Nietzsche
I am glad you learned to enjoy your mission so did I.
Humanist
I’m beginning to wonder if most non-RM singles have much of a chance out there. 
I dodged a mission myself, or so I thought, until I started looking at the numbers recently. I was actually probably too old to go on one anyway when I first joined.
I didn’t go on a mission. I will say that I had the desire to go. emotionally and psychologically I wasn’t totally sure if I could go. I debated whether or not to be on a medication to treat some of the issues I had been struggling with. I was told there may be an issue with the me being able to remain on a certain medication while out in the mission field.
There was some thought on doing a service mission, which would allow me to deal with my emotional/psychological issues while still being able to serve in some way.
Another opportunity came my way though and my Bishop encouraged me to go ahead and take that opportunity. I went ahead and took that job opportunity at that time.
The question has been thrown around about non RM guys being able to date LDS girls. Well yes of course they can date.
From what I have seen the younger girls in the late teens and maybe early 20s seem to have the desire for an RM.
However from what I have seen when a girl is a little bit older they no longer have this expectation. They only care if the guy is truly Worthy.
I have had girls tell me about how RMs fresh off the mission have this unfortunate arrogance. Just because they served the mission that they now expect a girl of their choice to suddenly fall in love with them, be married and be the boss of the relationship.
After experiencing this some LDS girls would rather date a guy who is not an RM and sometimes even a non LDS guy and hope they can flirt to convert
I hope you’re right Greenapples. I’m hoping to meet a decent woman in the church, preferably one with some brains and sense of humor, and also open minded enough to understand where I’m coming from. Not to mention someone who knows what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to religion outside the church. The church is just a church. It is the parking lot we turn into each Sunday. If he doesn’t want to go, it is his choice alone. It will not destroy his life, nor his spirituality. He will find love in his future, if he treats others with respect and tries to practice Christian principles. Thomas Monson didn’t serve a mission. Spencer Kimball didn’t marry in the temple. We LDS need to get over ourselves. We are part of the human family. We marry, reproduce, love our offspring. We raise them as best we can and eventually lay down our worries to become dust again. Critical long-range thinking is important…
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