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I came across something today that I wrote quite a while ago, and I felt like I should share it here – given how many new people here haven’t read it.
When I graduated from college, I interviewed for a job that, through a very clear answer to a direct prayer, I thought I would be offered. I knew it was the best job available for me – and it was. However, I was not offered the job – and I was grateful quite quickly in short-term hindsight. When I questioned why my answer had been SO clear (that the job was the best one for me) and yet I had not been offered the job, I was able to understand that the job would not have been best for my family – and the answer I had received was the correct answer to the question I asked. (“
Is this the best job for me?“) The issue was that I was more than “me” at that point; I was part of “us”.I had a wife and three children. Looking back on the job I was offered later, it was perfectly clear that we were where we needed to be at the time – even though that job lasted FAR more briefly than I had anticipated. You see, we discovered one of my sons had a speech issue that could have caused major problems – but the mother of two of my students happened to be a renowned specialist in that exact area. She worked with him free of charge as an expression of thanks for what I was doing for her children.
What is the “miraculous” or “necessary” part of this?
This is the same child who was told in his baby blessing, for no apparent reason, that none of the physical trials he would face in life would have the power to derail him from his appointed mission in life –
and the job that was best for ME would have derailed him in a significant way. My job at that point, and every job I’ve had since then, primarily was not about me as an individual; it was about me as an individual AND husband and father and associate and friend. My life hasn’t turned out anything like I thought it would while I was attending Harvard.
My grandiose dreams from those years lie dead on the floor of my life – but I wouldn’t trade my life for those dreams or anything else.I’ve created my life, and it is a joyful life – but it’s only a joyful life because I’m committed to making it so in the context of my entire, full, complete life that includes my family, my community and my church. Would I be more invigorated or more enlightened or anything else like that if I left my family or my community or my church? On a purely individual level, sure – I can see that possibility. I don’t think I’d be happier, though – because I’ve created the life I want and love. I also don’t know of anything I can experience outside of my faith that I can’t experience inside my faith – at least nothing that I want to experience that would compromise my full life.
Name something you might want to do and ask yourself:
Quote:Can I do this without compromising my full life – and without harming those I love?
If the answer is, “Yes” – then do it. Period.
If the answer is, “No” – then ask yourself why not. If you can’t articulate a good reason, then consider doing it. If you can, then don’t do it.
I know that might appear simplistic, but
I really believe there is MUCH we don’t do that is fine to do– and there is MUCH that is pursued in the name of personal enlightenment that should not be pursued at a particular time by particular individuals in their particular circumstances.Many of those things might be fine for others, but I’m not living others’ lives. I’m living mine – which, in a very important way, is “ours”.
Good stuff Ray. Thanks Ray! This is really good. I have someone in mind that needs to read this. Perfect timing!
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