What keeps me grounded

[Anonymous]

cwald wrote:

mercyngrace wrote:

…Has anyone here known someone who openly shares that he/she had powerful confirming and undeniable spiritual experiences related to the church/gospel and left anyway?…

Yes. Me.

The same spirit that told me the church was true for years…eventually told me that the church was not TRUE, BUT that I was not to leave the church at that time (I wrote about this on stayLDS in some thread.) And then later, that same spirit told me to take my family and walk away from the LDS church.

I listened and found peace.

Thanks for speaking up Cwald, I had forgotten some of the details of your story. Do you still believe that the LDS confirming spiritual experiences are legit? IOW, do you still believe that you were led by divine means then and that at that time you were in the right place?

As one who believes that the Spirit leads us to where we need to find healing and peace, and that such a place can definitely be outside the church, I’m not asking because I disbelieve what you experienced but precisely because I absolutely can believe it. I don’t think one experience has to be deconstructed to validate the other.

Most folks I’ve asked and that’s not a huge number – just message board friends, mostly, who have left, have either dismissed spiritual experiences altogether or deconstructed the ones that kept them in the church while favoring whatever experience or belief led them out. Very active LDS converts sometimes do the same, deconstructing spiritual experiences they had in other churches or with other belief systems but most, in my real life experience, recharacterize them as preparatory, leading them into the church since LDS beliefs allow for spiritual experiences among non-members. It’s an odd phenomena and I find it fascinating.

[Anonymous]

mercyngrace wrote:

cwald wrote:

mercyngrace wrote:

…Has anyone here known someone who openly shares that he/she had powerful confirming and undeniable spiritual experiences related to the church/gospel and left anyway?…

Yes. Me.

The same spirit that told me the church was true for years…eventually told me that the church was not TRUE, BUT that I was not to leave the church at that time (I wrote about this on stayLDS in some thread.) And then later, that same spirit told me to take my family and walk away from the LDS church.

I listened and found peace.

Quote:

Thanks for speaking up Cwald, I had forgotten some of the details of your story. Do you still believe that the LDS confirming spiritual experiences are legit? IOW, do you still believe that you were led by divine means then and that at that time you were in the right place?…/quote]

Yes, absolutely. Why not? I believe in the gods.

The gods have been good to me. I truly do believe that the LDS church is a divine organization and pathway, ONE OF MANY, that people can find peace and the gods. Perhaps that is why it hurt so much…I wanted to remain and I wanted it to work, and at that time I desired to raise my kids on the Mormon pathway, because it seemed to be an pretty good path.

And then it just fell to pieces and became unbearable painful and miserable, I asked to leave. The gods told me no…so I found this place and I stayed for another year or so. But then my foolish, yet well meaning extended family had to get involved in my “salvation.”

Damn them.

I asked, pleaded with the gods to let me leave the church before it destroyed me and this family. Perhaps after awhile, perhaps god realized that the Mormon path was doing more harm, and just could not work for us anymore, and let me off easy.

Have I ever told the story about the conversation I had with one of my brothers – one of the ones responsible for contacting my SP and asking for the hammer? Well, NONE of my family called or tried to contact me. I finally called him up, and I told him flat out that I was going to put away the gauntlet, and I was going to forgive them all. He said, “well, I feel kind of bad for what we did. You are really letting us off the hook pretty easy.”

About two weeks later I went on a drive up in the forest to put things in perspective, and the gods told me they had changed their minds, and that it was okay for me to just walk away from all of this…just let it go. Without thinking, I replied, “thanks god, you’re letting me off pretty easy.”

Then I pulled over, walked out into the woods and dropped to my knees, and cried like a baby.

[Anonymous]

cwald,

I know this would sound really odd to some people (and heretical to others), but maybe you needed an experience like this to learn to forgive – truly and freely. Maybe it was the only way to teach you that lesson, so God used those in your life who could teach it to you. Maybe there is something in your future – or your children’s future – that depends on this.

Maybe your brother also had to learn it, and maybe it will benefit him and others in the future.

Have you shared that entire experience with your children (and your brother) – all of it, including that the LDS Church can be a wonderful place for many, and maybe even them?

Those are the thoughts that jumped into my mind as I read your comment.

[Anonymous]

I think that is exactly correct Ray.

That was kind of what I was trying to say I thought. I think I learned what forgiveness and true atonement meant that day.

Yes. My kids know this story. They know that I believe the LDS church is a divine pathway that works for many, and that they are welcome to pursue it if they so choose.

I have not shared this with anyone in my immediate family. Those lines of communication and relationships will take years to repair.

[Anonymous]

cwald,

I do remember that episode with your family and the SP. ::breathing deeply to keep calm:: I think experiences like yours are a large part of the reason I stay so vocal in the church. All I’ve been through has been perspective altering (isn’t that the real definition of repentance?) and I agree with you and Ray – there are so many ways I’ve grown that I can’t imagine, in retrospect, happening in any other way.

[Anonymous]

cwald wrote:

About two weeks later I went on a drive up in the forest to put things in perspective, and the gods told me they had changed their minds, and that it was okay for me to just walk away from all of this…just let it go. Without thinking, I replied, “thanks god, you’re letting me off pretty easy.”

Then I pulled over, walked out into the woods and dropped to my knees, and cried like a baby.

i love this story. i feel that some of the choices i have made that are quite different than i would have made as a tbm are guided by the spirit.

driving home from the stake center tonight where i am volunteering to set up a prom for the youth, i came to an interesting conclusion, very similar to yours. i think it was hearing on the news that obama is finally supporting marriage equality, and how this will invariably drive LDS, Catholics, and Fundamental Christians to take sides, and i am on the other side from all of them. totally. it will be pivotal for me to see the church’s reaction to this direct affront to its position.

so…thanks for your story tonight. it touched me and gave me strength.

[Anonymous]

Dragging this up from the depths… It’s been almost a year since I wrote this. Still plugging along and enjoying membership in the church. I have a testimony of the gospel, and I feel like it’s with my EYES WIDE OPEN now.

Hope you all are doing well in your walk.

[Anonymous]

I truly do believe you felt something when you were released as a missionary. I believe it was the Holy Ghost.

[Author]

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