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I would stress to the youth that the Church teaches that homosexuality (the attraction) is NOT a sin. I would stress that, technically, having a sexual relationship outside of marriage is forbidden for all members – and that the Law of Chastity in the temple is worded that way and no other way.
I would stress that non-sexual relationships are NOT defined as sin – and should not be. I would tell the person that we too often equate “sexual” with “intimate” or “personal” – but non-sexual, intimate/personal actions are not seen as sin for heterosexual members, so they aren’t sin for heterosexual members.
In summary I would repeat what the Bishop I referenced said – that I hope s/he can live as an active participant in the LDS Church and with the Gospel in her/his life, but that I also hope s/he can interact with biological and ward family in the company of all the people s/he loves.
Old-Timer wrote:I would stress to the youth that the Church teaches that homosexuality (the attraction) is NOT a sin.
I would stress that, technically, having a sexual relationship outside of marriage is forbidden for all members – and that the Law of Chastity in the temple is worded that way and no other way.
I would stress that non-sexual relationships are NOT defined as sin – and should not be. I would tell the person that we too often equate “sexual” with “intimate” or “personal” – but non-sexual, intimate/personal actions are not seen as sin for heterosexual members, so they aren’t sin for heterosexual members.
In summary I would repeat what the Bishop I referenced said – that I hope s/he can live as an active participant in the LDS Church and with the Gospel in her/his life, but that I also hope s/he can interact with biological and ward family in the company of all the people s/he loves.
Yes.Agree that the prophets have gotten this one wrong. Some of the responses to this thread illustrate why its difficult to counsel with youth about the topic. I can say I disagree with the church’s stance, but if the stance of the parent is that the prophet is always right then I can see a number of possible negative outcomes for both the youth and for the leader. I think my approach will be that I will say that I dont understand the church’s position, and then to describe many of Ray’s points, which more or less reflect my own, but his are more eloquent.
What would I tell a young man or woman who is LGBT? Here are some thoughts I have that I’ve picked up on my journey as a gay Mormon: 1-Reassure them of the Lord’s love for them
2-Teach them that their sexual orientation is not a sin, and does not make them unworthy or “less than” others
3-Make sure that they and their parents (if the parents have been informed) have a copy of “God Loveth His Children”, and review the pamphlet with them
https://www.lds.org/manual/god-loveth-his-children/god-loveth-his-children?lang=eng 4-Make sure their family has a copy of the booklet published by the Family Acceptance Project (available at their website
http://familyproject.sfsu.edu/LDS-booklet )5-Let them know that they are not expected to change their sexual orientation, either through “repentance” or “therapeutic means” in order to remain a member of the church in good standing (NOTE: both of these methods can be immensely destructive of self esteem and spirituality. Since no amount of therapy can change a person’s sexual orientation, efforts to do so will become frustrating and self-defeating. Additionally, spiritual efforts such as fasting, prayer, and demonstrations of obedience and piety have absolutely no effect on sexual orientation, and can only result in spiritual cynicism in the long term, even to the point of atheism)
6-Review the Law of Chastity with them—no sexual relations except with a husband or wife to whom they are legally and lawfully wed; teach the principles of avoiding lust and casual sex
7-Assure them that their sexual orientation does not disqualify them from fulfilling a full-time mission, if they wish to do so
8-Tell them that the Church no longer counsels gay people to enter into heterosexual marriages, either as a therapeutic step, or as a show of obedience (unless of course they are attracted to a particular person with whom they would like to build a life; this can be successful for bisexuals, especially if they marry a good friend who agrees to enter into the marriage with full disclosure of the bisexuality)
9-Most of all, help the youth to find out what God’s path for them is, whether in or out of the church.
At the end of the day, if we really believe God is good, that it is not good for man to be alone, and that our greatest joys in this life come from family, how can we continue to demand single, separate celibacy of our LGBT brothers and sisters without a deeper examination of whether this is really what God wants or not? These ideas have been bought with much pain, but they represent my current thoughts on the subject, and what I would tell a young man or woman who is LGBT.
I am not married, and I’m afraid my body DOES put me under big pressure for a (hetero)sexual relationship… even a one night stand. Hormones of course. in reality though, I have to control these urges and I don’t act on them. I do want to get married, but my career sucks and I’m useless with women.
It’s not just gays that have these problems!
I won’t go into details but within the past two weeks I personally asked a high ranking GA about same gender attraction. He kindly quoted the handbook and said we have to love gays and lesbians but can’t condone the behavior. I don’t think we’re going to see changes in official church position for some time. Not that he could say anything besides the official line.
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