What would you recommend to a stake president?

[Anonymous]

Thanks for all the great ideas and comments everyone! The person consulting with the SP is reading all this information, and you are providing wonderful insights. I know this type of situation seems impossible or difficult, but it certainly won’t change if we never try. No risk — no reward (no blessings, to put it in faith terms).

SilentDawning wrote:

Brian — what would prevent someone from creating a website that allows people to connect one on one, privately with people like yourself for one-one-one private messages or emails and even phone calls to help people with Faith and Commitment Issues? Be unofficial, uncalled Faith and Commitment Specialists, and let it be known on the Bloggernacle (which I take to mean the online, unoffical websites centered on Church-like discussions).

Actually … I am working on a project in the Open Stories Foundation similar to what you were describing SD. Joanna Brooks and I are in the beginning stages of building a “pastoral care” type of infrastructure of volunteers and resources something like that, but it encompasses the full spectrum of faith crisis and possible resolutions — from a need to vent anger, to leaving the Church peacefully, to finding ways to stay peacefully (which will obviously involve StayLDS).

John D. gets far too many contact requests now to deal with personally, and can’t soon for professional ethics reasons (dealing with going into the practice of family counselling and therapy). So we are looking at a way of still reaching out to people that contact him.

[Anonymous]

That is good news. If I was on the cusp of my commitment crisis (like I was 18 months ago), a resource like the one you describe would be my line of first attack. It will be interesting to see how it shapes up. Hopefully you will keep us posted.

[Anonymous]

Everything I’ve read is very good.

The only thing I would add is: (some of these ideas sound really cliche.)

A. To really understand what a person has gone through, you have to meet with them face to face.

You have to really listen to them. You have to invest time. You do not build trust in a 10 minute interview.

I have had many good home teachers over the years. The current one is a college professor & is very patient.

I know I can call him anytime or send an email looking for advice. (When I saw this web site, I asked his opinion.)

I don’t expect him to know precisely what I’ve experienced but I do expect some empathy.

My Bishop has been very helpful but he can’t invest the time. He will from time to time suggest something to read.

His most recent suggestion was:

Quote:

Rough Stone Rolling

The book was outstanding.

B. Whatever a person says, they have to feel that it is in complete confidence. I met with a former Bishop trying to explain

where I’ve been & what I’ve gone through. He started to gossip about other members that we both knew. All I could think

about was: “What are you going to say about me when I leave your office?”

C. Lay ministries, like ours, has it’s advantages & disadvantages.

One disadvantage maybe that church leadership doesn’t have some of the training that professional clergy has.

For example: marital counseling, drup counseling, grief counseling, etc. (There could be specialist used by the church that I’m

not familiar with.)

D. You may want to bring together a group of members that have either been inactive or are currently inactive & listen to them.

I would welcome an opportunity. Others may not.

For what it’s worth.

Mike from Milton.

[Author]

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