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I listened to Lindsay Hansen Park interviewed by John Dehlin recently. I’m not a fan of her style in some ways, but, (just like almost missing Rosemary Wixom’s interesting conference talk because it was given in Primary voice) I wonder if we’re missing something important in LHP’s work. President Hinckley made a special point of how the polygamist offshoots have “nothing whatsoever to do with us,” that it’s all up to law enforcement, etc. But is that just wishful thinking? Or a man’s thinking? I’ve been struck by the interest and concern she has for these communities in turmoil and her attempts to demystify and assist them. I don’t know who’s who in these groups, but she tells the story of a friend raising some funds or supplies to help one group, and their Jewish neighbors who said, “Hey, we’re happy to help, but isn’t this kind of
your(the LDS church’s) mess to clean up?” Maybe Lindsay’s Year of Polygamy has helped enough women come to grips with it, move beyond their own fear and rejection of the doctrine and look for people whose lives have been even moreadversely affected by the institution of polygamy. Maybe helping people who want out of those communities will contribute in a roundabout way to a rethinking of the essays’ stance and reevaluating Section 132. Just a thought…. I have put on my “potential list to contribute to.” I like what she has done and appreciate her study and efforts. It has been educational.
A few years back, an extended relation in a family died suddenly in her 40s. She had been someone who was not well liked or loved. Many in the family found her style personally annoying. When she died, she died without assets. The state had her cremated and approached the family about paying the small amount to cover the cost of cremation. No one wanted to pay for her. No one had liked her. There was no fondness. DH was asked if we would be willing to take care of this small expense. He was trying to figure out how he was even related to her .. She was a DISTANT relative.
We paid the expense. I wrote the check, mailed it, and I shook my head at the family dynamics. No one wanted to claim any relationship with her, but the truth is that she was a relation. If each family member that had said “no” had just pitched in $20, her expenses would have been covered. The precedent set would have been therapeutic. It would have set an example within the extended family that everyone pitches in and helps EVERYONE.
I see the FLDS in that same way. The relationship is complex. LDS do not have anything to do with FLDS. FLDS women need assistance, and those women are looking to their religious relatives for help. It is important to help family .. Even those whom we find unappealing and socially embarrassing. It makes our family better when we help. We don’t need to set a precedent of abandoning anyone in their hour of need.
The religious neighbor offers to help, but it isn’t their job. The LDS Church has some very deep financial pockets. They are in a perfect situation to help those FLDS women.
It’s time to be Christian in the very root meaning of the word.
There is a practice within some of these polygamist groups called Quote:bleeding the beast
.
This refers to going on public welfare for financial support. As I understand it, their view is Satan (government) is supporting
God’s work (of FLDS church). This would probably be their view of the LDS church too.
Quote:
Minyan Man wrote:“Bleeding The Beast”
Some of the Hasidic groups do that too ..
I’m talking about assisting people who want out, but don’t have support, skills and whatever else to make the change. I’m assuming intact polygamous clans and communities are the organized beast bleeders? I don’t live near any of this, so am interested to hear what you all know. I also suspect that, well-intentioned though she may be, people like LHP are finding that helping people out of polygamy is more complicated than they expected. But that’s real life. If nothing else, isn’t is just plain embarrassing from a PR standpoint to have such a hands-off/fingers-in-our-ears posture towards a people that exist solely as the result of our founding prophets? I think we can’t have it both ways – saying that we’re still so close to polygamy that leaders can’t be brought to examine it objectively AND that the offshoots are so far removed that we can’t interact and aid compassionately.
I am going to thread jack just a bit, but I am using it in support of Ann’s question “What is our obligation?” This is a huge LDS struggle for me in more areas than polygamy. When the black churches were experiencing threat, murders and burning our leadership stayed silent. I know local leaders, Stake and Ward, did help, attend, etc, but I wondered with all our recent talk of religious liberties why we didn’t make a public statement and monetary donation to those congregations. I really struggle with this in a broad sense. If we are Christ’s shouldn’t we demonstrate it on an intimate level. Back to your question – isn’t the FLDS church a bit like the Samaritans of old, everyone started out at the same, then circumstances created a division, but aren’t we still connected? I am with you it’s a puzzlement.
I would do what I could to help someone trying to leave a polygamist group, without hesitation. To me, it is a no-brainier – and would be even if we weren’t religious cousins. Ray: I completely agree. It is interesting to me that the LDS church doesn’t have a formal out-reach program set up to help people leaving the FLDS.
amateurparent wrote:Quote:
Minyan Man wrote:“Bleeding The Beast”
Some of the Hasidic groups do that too ..
Big in Israel, where it doesn’t go down well. (They don’t recognize the State of Israel, but happily take its money.)
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