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kupord maizzed wrote:
Based on what I’m saying, it appears the difference between NOM and StayLDS is that StayLDS aims to stay more idealistic, where NOM seems to be more in the trenches meeting the needy where and when they are hurting. Is that fair?
I think that is a way to describe it, sure.
There is certainly a zone of crossover between the two communities. The extremes of the two communities will not mesh well in my opinion, that is a large reason to make two spaces. People who are comfortable in the crossover region can swim easily in both ponds
StayLDS is more geared towards people that are largely done with being angry and hurt, who have satisfied some needs to tear everything apart and see how it ticks (this is a positive experience IMO, so don’t read as negative), and who make the decision to move into a new phase of believing and faith (not all go that route). I don’t think NOM supports the group I just described. They can’t so easily. They have a very important but different mission.
The people at one point in disillusionment don’t mix well with people who are not at that point anymore. They frustrate each other a LOT! One isn’t right or better, they are different — like baking soda and vinegar. Both are important ingredients, but they make a fizzy, foamy, explosive mess when you mix them together in a closed container.
Quote:To be candid, I certainly picture myself as faithful. That doesn’t mean I truly am, but it’s nevertheless my self-conception.
I think this is a good description (from another thread) of the key difference between NOM and StayLDS. You’re in a good place when you are ready to own what you want (your faith) and let go of what you don’t want (whatever you don’t buy).
hawkgrrrl wrote:I think this is a good description (from another thread) of the key difference between NOM and StayLDS. You’re in a good place when you are ready to own what you want (your faith) and let go of what you don’t want (whatever you don’t buy).
I don’t know why this is so tough for me. I think I was at that place the day after my conversion five years ago. I knew what I then believed and what I didn’t believe. All that was left was figuring out how to fit in somehow, somewhere, anywhere.
You know, by the time of my conversion I had already come to satisfying conclusions about polygamy, first vision, temple work, blacks and the priesthood, Mountain Meadows massacre, and One True Church. What the mystical experience of my conversion did was set me free and at the same time anchor me to Heaven and Neighbor.
I still feel more welcome and supported by NOM, even as my standards and goals direct me to StayLDS. Sigh, why must responsibility be so difficult!?!
Quote:Sigh, why must responsibility be so difficult!?!
I’m sorry, but that really gave me a chuckle. I don’t know how many times I’ve had that thought.
KM: Quote:I still feel more welcome and supported by NOM, even as my standards and goals direct me to StayLDS.
No need to choose just one! Go to NOM to vent, and bring what fits better here, here. And there’s some room for venting here, too. I think Valoel’s point is a good one – the extremes of both sites wouldn’t probably enjoy each others’ company at a dinner party. Both might feel it’s a waste of their time. But those in the middle can navigate both and get what they need.
hawkgrrrl wrote:No need to choose just one! Go to NOM to vent, and bring what fits better here, here. And there’s some room for venting here, too.
I guess I am an extreme of both sites
Actually I think StayLDS is good for me if you don’t mind my wacky anti-LDS LDS-ness rubbin off on you all. I’m just a long ways from perfection. Heaven isn’t finished with me yet.
KM
Thank you Valoel, for making this question available for discussion. I always try to look at questions from several different angles, rather than accept opinions at face value. This is the reason I want to keep a presence in each forum. NOM gives me support and validation for choosing to NOT believe, to doubt, to question. I think StayLDS will give me support for finding a different WAY to believe. That is the point I am at in my journey. Some days I want to leave the church and never return, but there is a tiny spark in my soul that says, maybe there is another way. At this moment I am choosing to blow on that spark and see if it ignites something.
Soooo…not to be totally lame, but what is NOM? NOM = New Order Mormon It is another website and forum in the world of internet Mormon discussion. They have been around for several years.
Website:
http://www.newordermormon.org/ Forums:
katielangston wrote:Soooo…not to be totally lame, but what is NOM?
NOM says, “I’m LDS affiliated, but things just ain’t the same anymore.”
StayLDS says, “Things just ain’t the same anymore, but I will stay LDS.”
It’s a fine distinction.
Quote:Valoel wrote:NOM = people who want/need to stay positively engaged with the Church, but don’t believe anymore.
StayLDS = people who lost faith, but want to believe again in the LDS Church
This is a nice taxonomy, but I would simply it even further for the StayLDS-ite.Desire to believe = desire to belong
For many of us, this is where the seed of our belief takes root anyway. Alma 32, and “giving place” for the seed talks about desire being where to plant the seed. Three year olds learn to articulate and equate “I love my mommy and daddy… I know the church is twoo…”
I find the best way to beat down the jaded NOM in me whenever I hear somebody start to say “I KNOW that X is…” in church, is to subsitute “I love the sense of belonging that X gives me.”
Godzilla Gaijin said, “I find the best way to beat down the jaded NOM in me whenever I hear somebody start to say “I KNOW that X is…” in church, is to subsitute “I love the sense of belonging that X gives me.” That reminds me of the first time I read a book by Mr. Rogers of Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. He said that instead of hearing “No” when a 2 yr old says “No” just hear ” I am an individual” That made a huge difference in my raising my kids. Thank you for sharing this view. Perhaps it will make a difference in my life.
I had a rather large post dedicated to post # 69 ( Billy madison: 69 ahh aha ha ha ha ha ha) However I guess I took too long so when I hit post I was apparently logged out and now it is all gone. I guess I should make it a habit of highlighting everything and copying it just before I hit the submit button.
I guess this is my shortened less passionate version of my lost post.
I started out as redcrown27 on NOM. Based on my post I feel some of the citizens of the NOM city didn’t feel that I was ready to dwell among the Nomites. They suggested that I go to StayLDS
I signed up as greenapples and began posting here.
Once I became comfortable with the fact that I know that I don’t know I felt okay with NOM. I am not at all offended by the bluntness of NOM.
There may be some people on the NOM site that have not gone to church for a long while but I don’t feel that it is an EX Mormon site though.
Most EX Mormon sites seem to just be a place for people to vent about how much they hated being in the church and how glad they are to be out. Once they vented enough they log out of the site and don’t come back.
NOM is a place where non believing Mormons can openly discuss their lack of belief.
Staylds feels more like a formal dinner.
NOM feels like a backyard BBQ or a beach party.
I feel people could mingle back and forth no problem if they were in Fowler Stage 4 or above. I feel like a stage 3 who is just breaking into stage 4 would not feel comfortable. Most people on this site would probably feel rather comfortable at NOM.
You just have to dress differently (In your mind) when you go to the site.
The differnce to me was the general attitude and positive as well as critical thinking versus just mostly venting. Much Ike a job, do you focus on the negative, positive or both? Do you help your coworkers with their job to help manage their stress or do you just complain along with them? The differnce is attitude. One that I love as I see it as unhealthy to dwell in negativity but see the good and the bad and possibly ideas about how to turn the bad into good.
Gosh…. I just want to know the truth. And the truth is not relative. God is, or he isn’t.
If my search leads me closer to the corporate church or mormonism in general…great…..if it becomes apparent that things are false….great.
What I’m not interested in is apologies, cover-ups, and ignoring facts……life is too short for me to spend it with my head in the sand.
Frankly, I really haven’t found a site that is dedicated to that end. It seems everyone has an agenda other than simple truth.
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