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As I grow with my faith transition I find myself drawn to ideas of personal improvement. One that has stuck with me recently is a lesson from Morrie Schwartz. Morrie was a sociology professor at Brandeis University. He contracted ALS – Lou Gehrig’s disease and began teaching lectures on how to die well. Eventually one of his students wrote a book entitled,
Tuesdays With Morrie. One of the lessons Morrie teaches is the “Were Number One” Lesson. The event was a college basketball game. The two schools are shouting and cheering for their teams. Brandeis students are hollering, “We’re number one, we’re number one.” Morrie is busy watching, then suddenly he stands up and shouts, “What’s wrong with being number two?” Everyone went silent. The lesson to me is profound, religiously, nationally, humanly. Why not enjoy being number two or three? Count the good stuff, cheer on the successes (not in pride, but for the validity of achievement), embrace enthusiasm. I plan to work on being number two. I think I will find much more happiness if I do.
If you want to watch a small clip from the movie Tuesdays with Morrie, click on the link. The We’re Number One story is at the very beginning.
To have a number one, there must be a number 2 – whatever. I like the idea of being my own best me, however that puts me in relation objectively to anyone else.
I really enjoyed both the book and the movie Tuesdays With Morrie. It’s actually required reading at the school where my kids go. There’s nothing wrong with being number two unless you can be number one. I have thought about this in relation to the three kingdoms. We’re taught that even the telestial kingdom is glorious beyond our understanding – so what’s so bad about that, right? Isn’t heaven heaven? I’ve thought about it because tomorrow may be the day the log truck crushes me on the two lane highway, and according to church teaching and scripture I would not be worthy of the celestial kingdom were that to happen. I also believe, however, that there really is no physical hell, and that hell is a state of mind or a state of being. If I could have been in the celestial kingdom and am in the telestial because of my own choices, and I really am separated from my family but don’t desire to be, then that same telestial kingdom is hell, not heaven. All that said, I try to never compare myself to others (although I sometimes meet with little success at doing so), and I believe our personal yardsticks are personal and unlike anyone else’s. My experiences are mine, yours are yours, and so forth.
Finally, I can’t resist. No one wants to be number two because you’d smell like crap!
Old-Timer wrote:To have a number one, there must be a number 2 – whatever.
That’s right — no number 2, no number 1. You end up charging the hill and find you are alone.
I do think it is a great thing to be our best selves and not think in terms of competition when it comes to what kind of people we are. I think this is how many of us see the Church’s role in our lives. I don’t care whether the Church is the one true church. I do want it to be a helpful tool in my own toolbox. That said, competition is what built places like Venice, Paris, and Washington. People seeking to be first and best is why we can now fly across the country in a few hours and for a few hundred bucks. If everyone in the history of mankind was just “chill”, then we’d still be foraging for berries.
Put another way, I do hope that the CEO of my company is the kind of person that wanted to be number one with his high school basketball team.
Excellent points everyone. There is something right about being/striving/reaching for number one. I was an athlete as a youth, and the drive that shooting for number one gives you, can be very healing, too. It does cause you to choose carefully what you do and how you do it. Especially if you are trying to be honest in that effort. As an athlete it helps you dedicate yourself, and support team members, it gives you a goal, especially when you fall or are lost. Sounds like it comes down to the old lesson of balance and why you strive. Is it for the title, the glory, the snubbing of others. Or is it for the chance to see how far you can go, how much you can give, what you can create.
Right now, I’ll remain of the #1 zone for awhile. I tend to get to passionate and run over people when I’m game on for #1.
Just to consider, as well: Many of the true #1’s in their field are absolute SOB’s and incredibly egomaniacal. For example, I know a woman who had first-hand knowledge of Michael Jordan’s view of beautiful women, and, to put it mildly, it was disgusting.
On a more personal note, this question is near to my heart, since I have twin sisters, one year younger than I, who struggled in school to get their B’s and C’s. They were average students who worked hard to succeed, but they had more than one teacher who accused them of being lazy – since the other six kids in the family all had A’s with only an occasional B. In academic terms, they were #’s 7 & 8 out of 8 in my family – and there was nothing wrong with that. Nothing. It wasn’t their actual rank that mattered; it was their position relative to their ability.
By that measure, they probably were ahead of me (since they worked a whole lot harder than I usually did) – but I was the one who was seen as #1 by everyone who ranked us, consciously or subconsciously.
I have been reading about the Hindu faith tradition recently. The book list three things Hindus say people really want: Quote:
..joy, knowledge and being.One of the strictures on joy, they say, are the frustrations arrising from the thwarting of desire. We want to win a game, get a promotion, secure a sale, be invited to a party. When we don’t and someone else gets what we wanted we face disapointment. Each thwarts an expectation of the individual ego.
What if, the Hindu asks, the interests of the interests of the self were expanded to the point of approximating a God’s eye view of humanity? Seeing all things under the aspect of eternity… accepting failure as on a par with success… Personal failure would be as small a cause for concern as playing the role of a loser in a summer play.
How could one feel disappointment at one’s own defeat if one experienced the victor’s joy as one’s own.
The World’s Religions, Huston SmithTo be number one means someone else has to lose out because it’s me and against another person. The only person you ought to compete with is yourself. That way, if you win no one else loses. And if you lose you can always try again, over and over, like a boss fight in a video game.
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