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I am wondering if others have had the experience of receiving and very definite answer to a prayer and then having that answer turn out to be false or incorrect. I am wondering how you reconciled it in your mind. Not looking for the typical TBM answer like “did you interpret correctly”,”did you have the correct spirit” and all the other stuff that is said to try and diminish the answer you got and blame yourself for not praying correctly. I am talking here about a definite question, a definite answer and a subsequent event that completely contradicts the answer to catastrophic results.
Has anyone else had such an experience? How do you deal with it?
I have to think about this one before I post. Two times, I gave someone a PH blessing and said something very specific about their recovery and it did not turn out that way. It was at a point in my life when I was REALLY trying to be faithful and understand the power of the priesthood, and be bold about it. It was a useful experience in a lot of ways. We often learn far more from our failures than our successes. For prayers in general, yes. I have had those experiences. I interpret it now like this:
If I am prompted to do something or make a decision, and it doesn’t turn out the way I expect it, it means that my expectations were wrong. It doesn’t mean that the experience was the wrong experience. Sometimes God / my subconscious / The Spirit, whatever it is, guides me in an intuitive way towards experiences that are valuable, even if sometimes they are painful or cause problems, and don’t live up to my expectations. I learn a lot about myself when that happens. It also teaches me to think through my decisions and learn to just make the best choice I can, even if the perfect choice isn’t available. It teaches me to trust myself more and roll with the punches, and stop blaming God (someone outside scapegoat) for all the bull squat in my life.
Well, my latest example would be that the same spirit that told me the “church was true” 20 some years ago, told me recently that the church “was not true.” How can that be? I just assume my expectation and interpretation of what “truth” meant is wrong – or at least my interpretation of it has changed and evolved over time.
cwald wrote:How can that be? I just assume my expectation and interpretation of what “truth” meant is wrong – or at least my interpretation of it has changed and evolved over time.
That’s exactly what I was talking about. See what the two answers tell you? On the surface, it might seem “answers to prayers” are useless. But no, they in fact reveal very important “truths.” (word used very liberally). Both answers were right, in their time and context, and the combination of the two produces a third insight. It just gets better and better as the pages of our story book turn
🙂 Well, I told someone about my membership of the church on a prompting, but the same person gave me stick for it later… oh ya, while in the bishopric there were a number of examples over the 4 years where we sincerely asked for the guidance of the spirit. Much thought and prayer went into our decisions. If it would have just been me alone, I would have thought I was wrong, unworthy or some other problem with me, but when both the Bishop (a spiritual giant) and the other counselor(very good member) were all involved and the decision felt 100% completely right and it turned out to be completely wrong, it really caused me, (later) to have serious doubts. Another piece of the “perfect” LDS puzzle that just doesn’t fit for me. f4h1
Yes, a similar experience was a major factor in my re-examining my faith. It can be difficult. In the short term I decided there were two options for me. 1) There was no personal God that cared and would intervene on my behalf… or 2) If there was a personal God, for some reason he didn’t want me to understand him in the way that I always thought I should. This all played into my present state of uncertainty, and now I see many valuable lessons learned from the willingness to be “uncertain.” I don’t understand the true nature of god, He has not revealed himself to me in that way. That’s all I know right now.
I’ve had a couple of Abraham experiences when I’ve been promised blessings or been unequivocally inspired to do something only to have it turn out absolutely opposite of my expectations. Abraham plead to have a son, God gave him Hagar. I am certain that was not what he envisioned.
Then he is promised a chosen child with his beloved wife and God says ‘Now place him on the altar.’
Abraham does it and even then God pulls a fast one, providing a ram.
The overwhelming assurance I’ve had in those instances when my answers seem to have been “wrong” is that God is responding to a much more profound question than the one I asked.
I posted on another thread about a friend telling my wife that we should pray about what job to pursue. I have heard many times shared testimonies about “knowing” that this place is where the Lord wants the individual to be. If done as the D & C suggests, coming up with your own best decision and then praying for confirmation, then there is usually not much downside. The action (what job to take, or where to move) was going to be taken anyway and there is not much benefit to wondering what might have been if you had chosen door #2. You might as well have confidence that the choices you are making are the right ones.
Unfortunately, what can be right and reasonable and helpful in one situation can be damaging in others. What if we are wrestling with the decision to cross the plains via handcarts and our confidence in our right God approved decision leads our family to suffer and die of starvation, frostbite, and hypothermia? I guess I am trying to apply the wisdom of moderation in all things.
I’ve had to re-frame my thoughts around prayers, blessings, and personal revelations. My ex-wife was very “revelation” prone. Nearly every major decision was accompanied by some sort of revelation and what she felt was the word of God. She would write these “conversations with God” down in her journal and refer to them almost as scripture. When she met me, she showed me how a year prior she received a revelation that the man she would marry would have been raised in the church but would be inactive, but searching. Sure enough, that was the case. And I re-activated shortly after our relationship became serious.
Ten years later, she fell in love with a different man and asked for a divorce. This man was never LDS. He was raised Lutheran and wasn’t very active, but was searching. So, what did she do? Re-interpreted her “revelation” and traded the words “the church” for “a church.” Very nice.
🙄 I try to be careful about presuming to know or understand the “will of God.” One practice that I appreciate within Mormonism is the pattern we are taught of figuring it out for your own darn self, then take it to God. I have received what I feel are very profound promptings. One of which I am dealing with right now is a big decision I have to make which has three possible outcomes – all of which will hurt people who I love.
But mostly, I try to stay away from making any “prophetic” proclamations. Instead, I try to turn it over to the Lord. Ask for His blessing and His will to be done, and I expect that sometimes it’s not going to work out the way I had hoped or envisioned. Disappointment is a part of life.
My kids constantly hound me for new toys. Every time they see a commercial on TV advertising a toy, they say “I want that for Christmas!” or “I want that for my Birthday!” And then, when their birthday comes and they don’t get what they wished for, I can see the look of disappointment in their eyes. Is it because I don’t love them or want them to be happy? No. Not at all. It’s because I see a bigger picture: they need to learn how to be happy and appreciate with what they are given. And that ultimately, learning how to cope with dissapointment and be content will be an important tool as they navigate adulthood.
Cadence wrote:I am wondering if others have had the experience of receiving and very definite answer to a prayer and then having that answer turn out to be false or incorrect. I am wondering how you reconciled it in your mind.
Not looking for the typical TBM answer like “did you interpret correctly”,”did you have the correct spirit” and all the other stuff that is said to try and diminish the answer you got and blame yourself for not praying correctly. I am talking here about a definite question, a definite answer and a subsequent event that completely contradicts the answer to catastrophic results.
Has anyone else had such an experience? How do you deal with it?
Yes. I was about to buy a house. It would have been really tight on the finances, and my wife would have to work. We didn’t have children due to a problem my wife had (kind of psychological, although she’s normal in all other respects). We prayed about it, and I kept feeling reminded about a VERY STRONG relevalation I had to adopt a child a year earlier. The words “You Have to Adopt” filled my mind for the space of many minutes and I was unable to get it out of my head. It was accompanied by the typical Galations 5 fruits of the Spirit. I was drained afterwards and felt completely swept in side. It was draining.
So, I decided to finally act on the revelation and proceed with adoption. It ended with LDS Social services rejecting our application at the last step, citing my wife’s problem and fears I would be unfaithful when a baby was introduced into the mix and my wife wasn’t paying attention to me anymore. This floored me and my wife. We were deeply hurt. I couldn’t sleep for a week. My testimony spiralled downwards. I felt spiritual support to continue in my activity for yet another year, but eventually,. could not stand to sit in Church while I heard about all these miracles and blessings for covenant keeping, juxtaposed with the over-the-phone rejection, and the reasons given for it.
I can’t describe the feeling i had of being sold out by the Church’s own agency, run by someone who was a Bishopric member in our Ward, and supposedly, bought into the whole eternal family thing.
I no longer hate them for it, but this was an example when I ended up SORELY CONFUSED about why I would have an answer that led to so much spiritual damage to me and my wife.
We try to rationalize it, reflecting on how the new director of the agency that rejected us fired the social worker who handled our case, apologized, and let us back into the adoption pool. We thought perhaps a personnel cleaning was needed at that branch of LDS Social services, and our case was the one to precipitate it. Perhaps this was the Lord working to purify one of teh agencies of His Church.
To this day, I don’t know if that was the reason for it; it hurt our commitment significantly, and represented another major withdrawal from my testimony and my regard for this organization which claims to be perfect half the time.
So, I don’t really understand. God must’ve had a purpose in mind, as I don’t deny I had those experiences which caused me to change my heart and finally try to adopt a child, willingnly, after aligning my heart with what I thought was God’s will.
Personally, I don’t understand why it happened the way it did.
It seems from the comments that others have had the same experience. So I ask myself is there value in continuing to try and get answers when even if you do get an answer it to often does not pan out or at least it is confusing. I believe so, Cadence. I wouldn’t trade the few times I have had that I just can’t explain as anything other than pure and true revelation for all of the other times when I just wasn’t sure or seemed to be wrong – for two major reasons: 1) Those few times were almost indescribable in their lasting legacy for me and my family.
2) Even the times I still don’t understand helped make me who I am now – and I like who I am now.
Cadence wrote:It seems from the comments that others have had the same experience. So I ask myself is there value in continuing to try and get answers when even if you do get an answer it to often does not pan out or at least it is confusing.
I am right there with you in this line of thinking and questioning, Cadence.
Just last month I had a terrifying experience with prayer over a major issue in my life, and it is still confusing me. I really tried to be patient, and studied things out in my mind, talked to my bishop and others, and prayed prayed prayed. I followed the feelings I got, and the answer I thought I was receiving…and it turned out so horribly. I was really off-base.
So, does that mean God may hear my prayers but won’t intervene, or that I was supposed to learn something significant from that horrible experience, or that I’m an idiot who can’t interpret the signals being sent to me?
I lean towards the last of those 3, which doesn’t help me have confidence to try again, yet I will. Something tells me that a longer view of things in my life and how they work out will help me, rather than short-term immediate view on this specific experience or that specific prayer. I continue to sojourn, and accept my failures can’t always be avoided and prayer can’t save me from all mistakes…but I can’t find a scripture that teaches me that principle. (Any advice for me, Cadence? Anyone?)
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