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One thing I have noticed about StayLDS, is that this board is dominated by the males. Sure we have a fewregulars that post here like Flower, CG and BN – but for the most part it is a hangout for the boys. Why?
Even jwald, who lurks here, seldom contributes. Are we that scary?
I’m just wondering why this is the case? Here are some possible, and yes, sexists and perhaps insulting, reasons that have crossed my mind. Any of these ring true?
-EDIT — I erased my suggestions. It would have just got me in trouble.
IMO, I think one thing that is really lacking from this forum is a consistent female contingency to balance the discussion and to express opinions from the other alien race. (I always perked up when Flower CG, and BN respond to a thread, because their responses were coming from such a different perspective and angle than I have – even though we usually agree in principle.)
Anyway, maybe we need to go do some recruiting over at NOM and bring some of the militant feminist over here to shake things up?
🙂 Actually, maybe there are more women on here than I realize. It’s hard to tell. Perhaps it might be helpful to have a gender option that goes with the avatars? I put mine in my signature line. Just a thought. Female… You forgot hawkgrrl … and maybe some others? And for all you know, I could be female, too. :shh: cwald wrote:I erased my suggestions. It would have just got me in trouble.
Since when is that a problem?
I really appreciate the female perspective on staylds-type issues that I find here, and though you’re probably right about the numbers, I don’t think it ever occurred to me that the girls are under-represented. Maybe it’s because the only other internet forum that I frequent is car-related, and females there are rare as hen’s teeth.
Actually, now that I think about it, any suggestion I could offer for the disparity would probably sound sexist. I would probably offer something along the lines of the personality types that drive someone to participate in this type of forum, and the relative occurrence of those personality types amongst males/females. That’s probably a lot of hooey, but I think it is a common conception/misconception, and it certainly conforms to my personal (though limited) experience, i.e. with real people. Not that you folks aren’t real … Oh, bother.
And to add more fuel to the fire, consider the person or people on this forum with the most strident views. Not naming names, but for the most part those voices tend to be male. Why is that? Probably there just aren’t enough people here (of either sex) to make a valid statistical proposition.
I’ll just throw out that among the handful of internet sites that I have found most helpful, two of them are run by females: the faithfuldissident blog and feminist mormon housewives.
Female “Where have all the flowers gone ….” Sorry, that song came to mind for some reason. “I am woman, hear me roar … in numbers to big to ignore ….”
Sorry, again.
Yes, indeed, I am most definitely FEMALE.
🙂 I tend to just lurk here at StayLDS. I’ve been posting on another message board since I’m going through a rough time right now regarding the church.
Sorry to hear that, Kalola. Not female by birth, but half female through marriage. (Doesn’t count, I know.)
I often feel that the female side of things are underrepresented and love when a new female joins the group. From my personal perspective, I think there are a few reasons why the females that are on the board don’t post as much, first being many of us have children who interrupt us frequently. These interruptions often keep me from composing a well thought out post. I can’t tell you how many half-posts I have written and then deleted either because it is disjointed or I didn’t have time to complete it. Personally, I also feel like I’m in kindergarten when it comes to staylds issues and I really don’t have much to offer yet, especially when it comes to doctrinal stuff. Another reason I don’t post too much is because I’m still quite angry and this forum tends to like calm answers. There are quite a few females that post often on NOM and I’m not sure why StayLDS is more male oriented. Any theories?
CG
I should add that I don’t find anyone here scary except for Ray sometimes 
CG
OK, I will throw this out and then duck. But I think culturally, men are generally more comfortable arguing and debating with each other. That happens a lot on these boards (we do it nicely here). A lot of topics are an explicit and direct declaration of what is wrong! with an invitation to challenge the idea being presented. For better or worse, I think that cultural element plays a part in it on some level. It’s nurture not nature, especially coming from a traditional LDS culture (very broad brush generality).
I love the participation of women here. Their perspective is very enlightening.
I post once in a very blue moon. I don’t have kids hanging around, but like canadiangirl, I don’t have much to offer and I am still very angry. Another reason I don’t participate is because I am not an intellectual and have a hard time putting my thoughts into words. So, I just sit back and read and disagree or agree. But actually I will post about something I’ve read about that I don’t understand. doug wrote:You forgot hawkgrrl … a
I did not forget hawkgirl – it’s just we have only heard from her maybe a half dozen times in the last 3-4 months. I don’t consider that “consistent.”
Brian Johnston wrote:OK, I will throw this out and then duck. But I think culturally, men are generally more comfortable arguing and debating with each other. That happens a lot on these boards (we do it nicely here). A lot of topics are an explicit and direct declaration of what is wrong! with an invitation to challenge the idea being presented.
For better or worse, I think that cultural element plays a part in it on some level. It’s nurture not nature, especially coming from a
traditional LDS culture(very broad brush generality). Yeah, I had a few thoughts like this too, but I ducked before I posted.
🙂 I think GENERALLY this is probably accurate — it’s ourculturalupbringing. I also get the “kids running around” idea too. They are teaching gospel doctrine in my ward. Brian, I think there is something to what you are saying. I don’t have the words for the feeling I have but for the most part I feel silenced in our LDS culture. I remember needing a break from one of my 4 callings and asking the bishop to be released. He gave me a comforting answer and then nothing happened. My husband went in and told the bishop I needed to be released and the next week it was taken care of. I learned from that point on that if I needed something done in the church my dh needed to make it happen. I don’t want to turn this into a feminist discussion I just wanted to state a general feeling I have as a woman among LDS men.
I don’t really feel that way here but I think one of the reasons I don’t comment more especially on doctrinal topics is because of this experience.
CG
Fwiw, Hawkgirl moved to another country and started a new job with her company, and she is one of the primary admins on the “Wheat and Tares” group blog, so I’m sure she is incredibly busy right now. Quote:I should add that I don’t find anyone here scary except for Ray sometimes.
😆 or😳 – whichever one is most appropriate.
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