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Maybe women feel more inclined to lurk? For me it takes a lot of effort to put my thoughts into words. When I get upset about something I think about posting and usually just the idea that I could write about it here makes me feel a little better. But I don’t think this has anything to do with the fact that I’m female.
Old-Timer wrote:Fwiw, Hawkgirl moved to another country and started a new job with her company, and she is one of the primary admins on the “Wheat and Tares” group blog, so I’m sure she is incredibly busy right now.
And since when is moving to a new country and starting a new job an excuse?
🙂 No, I wasn’t complaining, rather just making the observation that I think we are missing her presence and perspective, as well as the perspective of females in general.
CG – jwald has told me the reason she doesn’t write is similar to yours. She has great ideas and thoughts – but doesn’t express them very well in writing – and when she does, it takes a long time to do so. Plus the whole kids and dinner on the stove distractions.
I delete the majority of my posts before hitting “send” or whatever the publish button says for the same reasons others mentioned. I start responding to a topic – life (children) intervenes and by the time I come back to finish, it seems like what I was writing wasn’t all that worthwhile or only makes sense within the context of my own experiences which most people aren’t aware of anyway. Sigh. Half the time when I go ahead and publish, my efforts to be dispassionate and to avoid contention make my posts sound aloof and impersonal. So I’d say another reason I don’t post as much as I lurk is just personal insecurity. I can think of a dozen times I’ve offended people online trying desperately not to offend anyone. So to some extent I’m gun shy. And then there’s this. Having posted on a couple of other LDS forums for the past few years, one of which is populated with near fundamentalists and the other which is more liberal but still tends toward defensiveness, I’m just tired of getting treated like an apostate for having a broader personal theology. The great irony is that my beliefs still fit well within the range of Mormon thought – I can support everything I believe with scripture or an LDS authority but because it isn’t necessarily what others have heard before, I’m constantly forced to defend myself. It’s exhausting.
Yeah, m&g, I think it’s funny that I’m seen as everything from quite conservative to extremely liberal – depending solely on the forum. I know it’s hard for everyone here to see me as extremely liberal, but I get chastised by some people for that. I just have to smile and thank them for their concern. cwald wrote:One thing I have noticed about StayLDS, is that
this board is dominated by the males…I’m just wondering why this is the case?…IMO, I think one thing that is really lacking from this forum is a consistent female contingency to balance the discussion and to express opinions…Anyway, maybe we need to go do some recruiting over at NOM and bring some of the militant feminist over here to shake things up? I guess it’s almost like asking, “Why aren’t there more women as interested in science, engineering, sports, cars, etc. as men are?” Maybe some of the things we like to talk about here aren’t quite as interesting to many women as they are to a few of us men. Also, one of the gender stereotypes that is probably true more often than not is that women typically talk about their concerns mostly looking for sympathy but men will hear this and immediately want to try to look for solutions and offer suggestions.
If you read the NOM forum, it seems like there is more support or validation of peoples’ feelings like “Oh, I’m so sorry your bishop treated you so badly” whereas here I sense more of a typical “male” attitude that the Church is probably not going to change much anytime soon anyway so all you can really do about it is suck it up and deal with it the way it is or leave. Although this solution-based approach usually makes sense to me, sometimes it sounds a bit harsh and maybe it’s not the kind of thing many women or “sensitive” men want to hear. However, there are only a limited number of fairly regular posters here anyway so if a few people join or start posting more than before it could change the overall style and content of the forum fairly quickly for better or worse.
Quote:have written and then deleted either because it is disjointed or I didn’t have time to complete it. Personally, I also feel like I’m in kindergarten when it comes to staylds issues and I really don’t have much to offer yet, especially when it comes to doctrinal stuff.
And I could just copy and paste what M&G said, too.
But now that cwald has kind of opened the door to us posting whatever we want maybe I’ll be more vocal.
As a side note and not sure if it applies here but I think it kind of fits in:
Last Saturday Julie B. Beck came to a Women’s Conference at BYU-Idaho. Bishops, stake presidents and R.S. sisters were invited to attend. After the conference Bishop, Stake Presidents and R.S. presidencies were summoned to a training meeting given by Sister Beck. Yes, Sister Beck called the men to a training meeting. I’ve never ever heard of that happening before. And some of the men even showed up! Times they are a changing.
And let me tell you she is an inspiring woman and I’m not easily inspired. The conference was great, the training was great. Overall a good use of my time. My husband commented that it was great. She just wasn’t some woman trying to tell him what to do which was how he felt going into the conference but had changed his tune by the time we went to the training meeting.
I’ve said this before, but President Beck impresses me. I understand the hoopla with her “Women Who Know” talk, but much of it was an emotional reaction to what people automatically thought she was saying rather than to what she actually said. Other times I’ve heard her, I have been flat-out impressed – and, fwiw, I make it a point to call her Pres. Beck when I speak of her. It’s a little thing, but it’s something I can do. Quote:One thing I have noticed about StayLDS, is that this board is dominated by the males. Sure we have a few regulars that post here like Flower, CG and BN – but for the most part it is a hangout for the boys.
In my experience this is common to most internet boards.
The female contributors here though often do post insightful stuff, and a few posts spring to mind in particular.
Maybe they’re all baking cakes and raising children?! Anywhere else I’d say that, I’d be sexist, but it does still seem to be the Mor(wo)mon experience still…
This has been an interesting discussion. M&G – I find it funny that you were called a liberal apostate on other boards and are gun-shy for that reason. IIRC, I kind of called you out when you first started posting for being to TBMish.
🙂 Opps.And I hope that doesn’t scare you off – I have enjoyed your perspective, even if I don’t always agree with you.
Interesting, President Beck is getting absolutely worked over the coals over at NOM right now because of her article in the Ensign this month. I’ve always thought Pres. Beck was quite moderate as far as the leadership is concerned – but that sentiment did not go over well at NOM.
I have always thought her voice was the most moderate and logical and rational in the training sessions – and I like how she talks and stares down Oaks all the time when he gets his underwear all twisted in knot. Thank you Pres. Beck.
😈 cwald wrote:This has been an interesting discussion.
M&G – I find it funny that you were called a liberal apostate on other boards and are gun-shy for that reason. IIRC, I kind of called you out when you first started posting for being to TBMish.
🙂 Opps.And I hope that doesn’t scare you off – I have enjoyed your perspective, even if I don’t always agree with you.
Interesting, President Beck is getting absolutely worked over the coals over at NOM right now because of her article in the Ensign this month. I’ve always thought Pres. Beck was quite moderate as far as the leadership is concerned – but that sentiment did not go over well at NOM.
I have always thought her voice was the most moderate and logical and rational in the training sessions – and I like how she talks and stares down Oaks all the time when he gets his underwear all twisted in knot. Thank you Pres. Beck.
😈 cwald – if you called me out, I didn’t even notice. LOL! I’ve been railed against pretty harshly on other boards so you’d have to reach through the screen and slap me to get my attention at this point.
The concern for me is offending others or getting labeled. Once those things happen, people tend to tune you out and they don’t hear what you are saying – they only hear what they *think* you are saying. At that point no one benefits from the conversation.
If cwald gives the okay to PRES. Beck then I know she’s legit. :thumbup: In general, I think this was one of the reason’s Relief Society was made. However, if you think about it. Jesus did a lot to revolutionize how women are viewed in the religious world. He taught a samaritan woman alone (that was a triple taboo) back then (he was alone with her, she was a woman, and third she was Samaritan. Jesus elevated women in a time when they were considered property. I think my wife is very spiritual and does not take enough time for herself. She will serve in church callings that many people would not take such as nursery leader.
I loved serving in the Nursery. /back to our regularly scheduled program/
Same here. Nursery kids are pretty much the only people I can relate to at church. cwald wrote:One thing I have noticed about StayLDS, is that this board is dominated by the males. Sure we have a
fewregulars that post here like Flower, CG and BN – but for the most part it is a hangout for the boys. Why?
Another possible factor that I don’t think anyone has mentioned that doesn’t really have anything to do with any fundamental gender differences is simply that more LDS men have served full-time missions than women. In my case, this basically forced me to really think a lot about Church history and many of these doctrines more than I ever would have otherwise. That’s why I don’t really expect my wife to fully understand some of the issues I have with the Church because all she knows about it is mostly just whatever she has happened to pick up from her parents, Sunday school lessons, seminary, etc. Some of my TBM co-workers have also made comments about their wives’ superficial level of faith and understanding of what the Church is all about. Sure there are some members that didn’t go on missions that still know a lot about the Church’s doctrines but it seems like this is more of an optional thing in many cases more than it was for all the RMs.
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