Where I am now…and the path forward. Inactive to Active

[Anonymous]

Hello all,

So i’m getting active again. Had a very spiritual experience that pushed me to decide to become active in some type of spiritual community and, for the moment, I am very interested in furthering my LDS experience.

Snapshot:

34 Male, Divorced, 2 kids I see on the weekends (every other). Currently ordained a Priest. Bishop is working with me to get the Melchizedek Priesthood in the near future. No callings yet. I would like to go to the temple…get endowed…and so forth.

My LDS views are unorthodox…but not impossible to walk a middle way obviously.

What I’m curious of is…since I am a convert…what exactly is the road ahead?

So obviously they are working with me to get me ready to receive the higher priesthood and eventually to go to the temple to get my endowments. I understand what happens in the temple (the internet is a fun place) and that isn’t a concern…what I’m curious is the kind of lifestyle being an active member in this church is…and what kind of responsibilities I should prepare myself for to be a part of this community.

I am immensely grateful for the LDS church…they have been there for me financially and with food assistance time and time again through the years. Just now they paid for my rent as I was in an emergency situation as I transition into a new job I start next week.

So as I am getting situated in my life…and I start to pay a full tithing and live by the gospel and its recommendations…I am having same old thoughts as before…where I begin to get nervous…’cold feet’ if you will about becoming more active. Mainly I think due to my unorthodoxness and how I really don’t know how long this experiement if you will…will last…it may last 6 months or 60 years…I really don’t know…I’m just trying to be genuine and honest and do what feels right.

I see that there are many seemingly logical cues…”The church is true…thus…do this, that, or the other”.

I can see how serving others and giving of my time and efforts is a wonderful thing.

I can also see how if stretched too thin…giving service to an organization that may not be as true as it espouses could eventually become painful. I suspect that this is a point of contention for many…as I keep reading good advice here about how to make my own personal boundaries instead of letting the church make them for me.

So…can anyone give me a rough idea of how life will be like? At the moment its all easy and breezy…I’m just getting active…and I’ve never really held a calling for longer than a few weeks before.

I don’t mind serving and being involved…at this point of my life I like that idea. What I am concerned about is giving and serving to the point of ignoring my own needs…a breaking point. Granted I realize that a “breaking point” is subjective…I guess I would just like some advice.

I realize I am not married….surrounded by a ward of married folks…and I’d rather be married to be honest…so I suspect that will be an interesting situation going forward that will have its own challenges…

I am just curious what I can expect going forward…one calling? two? Hours a day? A second job level of service/work?

Thank You for being here for people such as myself.

[Anonymous]

If you go to the temple to receive your endowments the expectation is that you’ll wear garments from that point on. For men the tops are like a regular t-shirt and the bottoms are like boxers that come down to your knee. The expectation is that your clothing completely cover the garment.

The expectations of a Melquisedec Priesthood (MP) holder:

1) Accept a home teaching (HT) route. You are partnered up with another priesthood holder and as a pair you visit families once per month to share a spiritual message and (theoretically) serve as a first point of contact when the family needs service. Over the years I’ve seen HT assignments range from anywhere between 3 and 9 families to visit, 4 or 5 is very typical.

I was careful in my phrasing. Accept a home teaching assignment. The typical percentage of families visited in any given ward hovers in the 30% (or below) range. To fit in culturally you have to be willing to do HTing… but you’ll fit in even if you don’t do it. Just be prepared for priesthood quorum leaders to bother you for not visiting. It’s kinda their job at church.

All in all I like the spirit of the HTing program. IMO it’s not a good program for introverts, paired up with someone not of your choosing to visit families, also not of your choosing. It’s like they were trying to make introverts uncomfortable.

2) Hold a calling.

The calling you’re asked to do is a gamble. You never know what you’ll get… unless you’re the only person in a ward that can play the piano, then it’s piano player ’till death. So the calling you get could be a “Sunday only” calling, something you show up to church and do during the 3 hour block, then you’re done – maybe there’s some preparation, like for teaching a class; or a more nebulous calling, like ward missionary, where you do things during the week.

The number of callings also depends. I’ve been in large wards where one calling is all most people have, some even fly under the radar and don’t have callings. I’ve been in smaller units were everyone had two callings, some people had three. We don’t do a good job as a church of scaling our programs to the numbers that are present.

If your leaders employ some common sense the usual practice is to give less intensive callings to new people or people that are working their way back into activity. If they excel at the calling they get a different calling that maybe requires a little more effort.

3) All the temple recommend interview stuff. Law of chastity, word of wisdom, tithing, etc.

—-

I know there’s a rule that says a person must be a member for at least a year before receiving their endowment. After that rule it’s entirely up to the discretion of the bishop and stake president. I believe the general rule of thumb is that the endowment is mostly for people preparing to get sealed in the temple or go on a mission but again, it will vary depending on the local leaders.

[Anonymous]

On the positive side, you may get the opportunity to work alongside some really good, talented people in various callings. You might get callings you really enjoy, depending on your skills that make you feel good about being at, and in the church. There will be a lot of opportunities to help people outside of formal church callings, etcetera. Depending on your bishop, you might get callings that are crafted to help you grow and develop new skills.

At the same time, you may be asked to do things that detract from your life (too much service handed to you, or asked of you). During those times, don’t be afraid to assert yourself and set boundaries, even if it some people are disappointed with it. Remember, in spite of any information to the contrary, you are a volunteer, and the church and its leaders have an obligation (in my view) to be thankful for whatever you can give. Remember, your personal needs will have to come first at certain times in your life, and make sure you always put your own oxygen mask on first so you can continue serving for the long term.

[Anonymous]

I really…really…appreciate these responses…

It really gets down to the heart of the matter…that I have a lot of things on my plate that I am focusing on right now…and while church does indeed fill me up a lot…and I am very interested in having a community and being a part of that community…I am concerned about being required to dedicate large chunks of time to it.

Perhaps many of you have dealt with this same issue…but other than my iron clad belief that there is indeed something spiritual in the world…I have no definite testimony of the truthfulness of the church as a whole…not the kind that would make me want to bend over backward to serve in some manner that I don’t feel strongly about.

I am however…evidently…quite susceptible to things. I noticed the other night when my young daughter was feeling really sick…part of me wanted to have that higher priesthood and to give her a fathers blessing.

But, I don’t really think the priesthood really matters like that. Not in that literal black and white sense. It is very interesting what we think and feel in the moment vs what we think and feel when we’re being more…objective?

So…as my faith crisis was occurring I was introduced to Mormonism. Mormonism was in many ways the most believable and compelling belief system I’ve yet encountered. Obviously it has major flaws that give compelling reasons for people to leave or question their truth claims…but it seems natural that since I had a strong spiritual experience I’d find myself back here at the LDS table so to speak…I need to figure out if I’m going to stay here or not.

I do feel indebted to the church a lot…for help temporally and spiritually…yet that is not a reason to ignore the part of me that thinks drinking coffee is really not a sin and that women have every right to pray and bless and fulfill priesthood duties as a man does.

[Anonymous]

Jorsen wrote:

I am however…evidently…quite susceptible to things. I noticed the other night when my young daughter was feeling really sick…part of me wanted to have that higher priesthood and to give her a fathers blessing.

I vote that you give her a blessing. I would really love to receive a patriarchal or matriarchal blessing from my family members. What could be more natural and lovely?!?!?!? Yet people are afraid for fear of seeming to usurp authority from the church.

[Anonymous]

Blessings, in my view, have two benefits. First is the potential to unlock heavenly powers to fulfil the blessing, That is often an unpredictable thing, and can cause disappointment, regrettably. The other benefit is in the sheer comfort it gives people. The act of petitioning God together creates unity, comfort, and often, spirituality for the person. So, even if I ever get to the point I think the priesthood has no power, I would still give blessings when asked because they do comfort people and create good things in the moment.; So even if you don’t fully believe everything, I encourage blessing-giving for these reasons.

As far as time commitment goes — I would give at a level you can sustain. Do consider all the the different objectives and commitments in your life and have a clear purpose for what you want to get out of this life. I have a personal mission statement that has guided me even when I grew disaffected with aspects of my church experience. Originally, it indicated that I have a certain role in the church. After my first couple commitment crises, I rewrote the mission statement to replace the words church service with community service. I continued serving heavily in the church, as I consider the church part of the overall community. But when church service stopped “giving” in terms of my personal happiness, I could still live my mission statement by directing my service hours to the larger community. Lots of good things have happened since then. When I made the hard transition to solid community service, I still felt I was living my life’s mission. In that sense, the transition was seamless.

So, having a clear idea of what your own life is about — when you look at the landscape of your life on your deathbed, realizing you did what you said you would — is critical, in my view, to making the decisions about where you put your time. In and out of the church.

[Anonymous]

There is no need for any Priesthood authority to give a child a father’s (or mother’s) blessing. Just “pray over” your daughter and don’t invoke any particular authority other than your fatherhood. I am an ordained High Priest, but I don’t have to mention that when I give my children a father’s blessing. I can do it “as your father”, and that is enough.

I wish we encouraged non-member fathers to bless their children regularly – and I wish we encouraged mothers to do it, as we’ll. There would be no authority issue whatsoever that if no authority was cited.

[Author]

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