Why do some hurt others to avoid reality?

[Anonymous]

Meoclew wrote:

Featherina wrote:

Yeah, been there done that.

I tend to get really honest when I’m pissed off.

Usually, when I’m really boiling mad, I’ll go on a walk, or hit some raquet or tennis balls – to let off some steam.

Yes, I have worked on that as well. When I was younger I had a real temper problem. I could easily become physically and verbally abusive to my friends and family members. Since then, I have been very careful to never react in the heat of the moment. My husband knows that if I’m hurt or angry not to try to discuss it right then. I will try to collect my thoughts and present them to him the next day or later. This has been extremely effective in my marriage, but anywhere else in my life (and sometimes still in marriage) I have the extreme opposite reaction to what I had when I was young. Rather than defending myself in any way at any point, I tend to just take all my punches laying down and just stay there in silence until the metaphorical bruises fade, then walk right into the next attack. My new gut reaction to confrontation is to shut down so that I don’t hurt anyone, but instead I am repressing all my negative emotion and allowing it to do internal damage.

For those of us who have found ourselves on the fringes, or the outside, of the “faithful” community – hurtful comments, actions and attitudes from our loved one’s are inevitable. Surely there is a healthy balance between embracing the blows and hitting back.

What have you guys found?

Sometimes I repress stuff too, but lately, I realize I have a shorter fuse & that it’s better to let off the steam slowly, than to have an explosion.

I absolutely have to let it out somehow!

Otherwise, I’m a mess & no fun to be around.

Sometimes just a long walk can do wonders.

I think it was Hippocrates that said, “Walking is man’s best medicine.”

Sometimes, I don’t talk it out with whoever I felt hurt by, when I know from experience it will likely cause more harm than good.

It really depends though. Some people about some topics, it’s good to discuss.

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