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I knew when I typed it – they were strong words. They are also words I don’t use very often, but they were the mostly deeply passionate words I could find to describe the intensity that does come in moments – most of them unexpected. For me, those unexpected’s are the worst. Blindsided by a face book post or comment. As a general manner of speaking I make friends easy, I like people of all types, and am pretty like able in return. I think I feel the pressure of the divide so accutely sometimes I can’t breathe and it brings emotions I don’t face to surface and it kills me. I do try to live by
Quote:forgive others – for they know not what they do
I just think I wear out sometimes. And I think I understand that this divide between teams isn’t going away anytime soon. I wasn’t ready for that piece of information.
Intothelight – I love this movie
Quote:I love both Sister Superior and Father O’Mally in the Bells of St Mary’s, but I think Father O’Mally had it right. But maybe God needs both kinds.
Let’s grab popcorn and enjoy it.
:clap: If I went back in time maybe 10 years ago, and met Heber13 from the past…I think I’d get bugged by myself and some things I said at times. Like was said, it’s not “TBMs” who bother me as a group; it’s those who are dead certain they know everything and anyone who disagrees with them are stupid, ignorant, blind fools. That sort of person exists at each extreme – and there have been some comments even here in this forum over the years that fit that description on BOTH sides of the “conservative/liberal” spectrum. We all ought to try to be aware of when we are doing it and recognize that it’s not just “them” who are prone to it. “Lord, is it I?” is a great question for a lot of things.
Heber13 wrote:I have also looked inwardly at how I react to others. I have found that during my struggles when I was wrestling with issues I felt like I had somewhat of a spiritual sunburn.
While others touching me was not really them doing anything abnormal, it was at times excruciating to me, because of the state I was in. The pain was real, I just couldn’t really put blame on others for it.
But I don’t think I hated them, although at times things they said drove me to leave a class or the church building.
It took time to allow myself to heal. But I can be around everyone in the church now, and talk to family, and not feel the burn I once had.
Sometimes it takes time to heal. There isn’t always blame or dislike towards others, there is just a burn and a healing time and we can find thins get better and more tolerable.
This is very useful. Thanks.
My answer to this is that it’s complicated. First, I think my aversion is because I cringe that it’s a reflection on me when someone is ignorant, bigoted, or over-confident and wrong. I don’t want to be associated with that. Second, I think it’s because they so often defend things that shouldn’t be defended. That’s harmful. It causes actual harm. It also substitutes something else for the gospel, and the gospel is supposed to be the common ground. They throw out the baby to keep the bathwater. And if that takes root, what is there to the church? hawkgrrrl wrote:Second, I think it’s because they so often defend things that shouldn’t be defended. That’s harmful. It causes actual harm. It also substitutes something else for the gospel, and the gospel is supposed to be the common ground. They throw out the baby to keep the bathwater. And if that takes root, what is there to the church?
Yes, this nails it for me! Add to that, the uncaring attitude often displayed towards others who deviate from their opinions. I do not dislike/hate, but I do struggle inwardly with some and wonder if we can all just be thrown away that easy in order for everything to feel comfortable for them. As a convert to the church, I came in with a different set of attitudes and I did not realize just how different for many many years.
I know some who are “acting” to stay in good standing (only because we were very close once upon a time). I have watched others transition over years. In my subset of close friends, we had a friend disengage more and more until one day another friend called to tell me our mutual friend was not sure she believed in Christ anymore and was exploring Eastern religions in a very jeering tone of voice. I tried gently to redirect her by expressing my love for our friend. Fast forward a few years. Now the friend who made the phone call to me that day has totally left the church in much anger and bitterness. In a conversation about how “people at church act”, I gently reminded her of the phone call about our mutual friend a few years previous. She was flabbergasted at herself and her own behavior. It was an eye opening experience.
I sat in a gospel doctrine class recently and heard others expound on people of other faiths being “saved”, etc while comparing to LDS people. I felt the point of the scriptures we were looking at might be more to ask, “Is it I?” I bit my tongue since that would not have been received well if I had spoken it.
afterall wrote:In a conversation about how “people at church act”, I gently reminded her of the phone call about our mutual friend a few years previous. She was flabbergasted at herself and her own behavior. It was an eye opening experience.
I really love this. I totally think people’s views will change over time. Sometimes that is the best way to handle some of these people at church…just give them time.
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