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Elder Cook also was a Stake President in San Francisco when AIDS first ravished so many people there, including members of the Church. He has spoken movingly about what he saw and learned in that position. He also is a junior member of the quorum – and it is interesting that they both were chosen when others who might have added a different kind of diversity almost surely would have been more hard line when it comes to LGBT issues.
I don’t dislike Elder Cook – one time I asked him personally about the church’s position on gay marriage and he gave me a pretty hard-line answer. He wasn’t rude but there was no wiggle room whatsoever and if I were gay I wouldn’t have felt overly welcome within the church. He used words like “same sex” and “self declare” instead of the more common phrases used by LGTB people I know. He did reference his time in San Francisco and I do think he genuinely cares about people. This topic of criticism is messy for me and I can’t quite articulate my thoughts. To me “criticize” has an inherently negative connotation. I did the cliche thing to do and looked up synonymns and the first two were “condemn” and “blame”. I understand why few would want to be critized. Even well delivered negative feedback is difficult to hear.
Quote:I think Christofferson may have been sent with Oaks when speaking about the gays/freedom thing to balance Oaks.
Also because he’s the only one who knows even remotely what he’s talking about from personal experience due to his brother being openly gay.
Quote:I did the cliche thing to do and looked up synonymns and the first two were “condemn” and “blame”. I understand why few would want to be critized. Even well delivered negative feedback is difficult to hear.
Maybe, but gimme a break. I’ve led very large organizations (over 1500 employees) most of my career. That’s nowhere near as large as church leaders. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. I have to believe that they can handle criticism better than your average person. Does it suck? Sure, but that’s part of the pay grade.
hawkgrrrl wrote:Quote:I’ve led very large organizations (over 1500 employees) most of my career. That’s nowhere near as large as church leaders. If you can’t take the heat, get out of the kitchen. I have to believe that they can handle criticism better than your average person. Does it suck? Sure, but that’s part of the pay grade.
Amen. That’s why I always read Hawkgrrl’s posts.
mom3 wrote:Quote:
The calling of Elder Christofferson alone is a big deal, given his family’s place in this discussion. What we need to guard against, imo, is unrealistic expectations on him to make massive changes quickly. Those expectations, when not realized, can be crushing, as well.It also may be good to remember that he is a Junior member of the team, and in all human endeavors treading wisely is important. My guess is he measures his steps carefully. I know for a fact he does a lot of work behind the scenes to open up dialogue about faith crisis and LGBT issues.
I was disappointed to hear some of what Elder Christofferson said, but I agree he is a blessing to the Q15 and I think over time he will do quite a bit of good.
I need to go to bed. Not enough sleep this week and VERY stressful days at work. When I read this
hawkgrrrl wrote:Does it suck? Sure, but that’s part of the pay grade.
I ready it as, “Sure, but that’s part of the gay pride”
Quote:I was disappointed to hear some of what Elder Christofferson said
I don’t have a full read on him yet either. He and Elder Perry confuse me in some ways. His families story though gives me hope that conversations, thoughts, and his mothers actions may have a more healing impact in time, no matter what is said over the pulpit.
hawkgrrrl wrote:Why is the church so leery of criticizing leaders? Well, I think a few reasons, some better than others:
3 – Criticizing in a forum or to other people can cause them to enter the cycle described in #2 which results in people feeling like victims, blaming others, casting some in the role of perpetrator, rescuing others from those phantom persecutors, etc.
Its always scary for me to excbange posts with hawkgrrrl, shehas so much knowledge and experience. I thought I was agreeing by saying that our highest church leaders are subject to the same emotions as simple people like me at the bottom. Criticism makes people feel blamed or condemned, which seemed to be part of the original post that I quite agree with. However I dont think I understood #3 as intended.
To reply to the question “why sre we leery?” My probably simplistic answer is that because most active and vocal members regard them as mouthpieces of heaven. And because we dont want to be reprimanded.
For me personally I try to support people jn my job and at church because I think most people do the best they can jn the circumstances. My stake president is a deeply flawed man but I think he’d agree with that statement. Ive seen him agonize over situations that have no good outcomes and I give my feedback and he makes the best decision given the circumstances and his ability. I guess I think that happens at a higher level also and that I cant expect the Q12 to fix something bigger than them. Which makes me wonder why I stay.
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