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We all know that young men receive a lot of pressure to serve a mission. And unofficially, many members attach getting a good wife, success in life etcetera to serving a marriage, although we know that is not official church position. Do you think the informal church culture will start leveling this same pressure on females now that they are similar to the males in terms of when they can serve a mission? And do you think this is a good, neutral or unhealthy turn of events if it happens?
I am hoping this topic will be adequately addressed during the upcoming training fireside. http://www.lds.org/church/events/the-work-of-salvation-missionary-broadcast?lang=eng I also would assume that over time there will be shifts in the tide of pressure. It seems our mortal lot to repeat our lessons, and I remember when I was a girl in the 80’s, in my area if it didn’t look like you were close to getting engaged around 20, the Bishops started circling. I remember sitting through the 3rd “Sister” Missionary farewell in our ward and coming unglued when I got home. I knew everyone of those girls, and none of them had ever talked about a mission, then suddenly after many meetings with the Bishop – Viola, an inspiration.
I was so relieved when my dad, a very conservative, dedicated member, told me I wasn’t obligated to serve and that he too had noticed the trend of pushing us out the door.
Since then it’s been publicly renounced as a practice. But I bet it may find it’s way back. I hope not though. I think a lot of the girls going now, really want to go. Two years from now may be a different story.
SilentDawning wrote:We all know that young men receive a lot of pressure to serve a mission. And unofficially, many members attach getting a good wife, success in life etcetera to serving a marriage, although we know that is not official church position…
Do you think the informal church culture will start leveling this same pressure on females now that they are similar to the males in terms of when they can serve a mission?And do you think this is a good, neutral or unhealthy turn of events if it happens? No, I don’t think that will ever happen. In fact, I think the main reason the age limits and mission lengths are still different for men and women is because Church leaders still mostly want to see women in the Church get married in the temple as soon as possible. But because they saw that a higher percentage of women were already going on missions and/or not getting married until their mid-twenties or later anyway that’s why they thought it wouldn’t hurt for the women that want to serve a mission to go ahead and get it over with sooner so they can move on to the real task at hand (getting married and having babies).
It sounds like another recent change was that they changed the young women’s lessons to be the same as the young men’s which I personally think is because they are starting to see that simply being married to another active Mormon is not necessarily enough to help keep as many women loyal to the Church quite as much as they were used to seeing in the past and that could be another reason they weren’t opposed to the idea of more women going on missions as well because they thought it would strengthen their testimonies. I don’t think the age change is necessarily bad but what I don’t like about it is that I think that ideally members should not have to serve a mission or get married to another Mormon in the temple ASAP to want to be a part of the Church but it seems like the realistic chances of those that don’t “enduring to the end” are currently much lower than for those that do.
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Most definitely. My sister attends byu and she is already on the receiving end of a lot of criticism and pressure since she has no desire to serve a mission. I think it is unhealthy in general to pressure someone to serve be it male or female. My daughter is at BYU-Idaho. There has been an increase in pressure from my daughter’s perspective that people think young women like my daughter ought to be married by 20, or serve a mission, in that order. If neither of these, she feels people wonder what’s wrong. That is all her perception in a culture specific to BYU-I.
Even so, it is not expected of YW. It is not a duty or responsibility. I don’t think it will ever become a pressure and expectation. It will be a choice for YW that will be celebrated and respected when they want to go.
I wish there was less pressure on them for the eternal choice of marriage. A mission is 18-24 months. Even if they were pressured into that, I think it is less impactful than marriage.
Yes, in some areas; no, in others. I don’t see it coming from the top like the “requirement” for boys. I do think that especially at the BYUs it is bound to happen and creep into local expectations. Just one more thing to try and do to show you’re more righteous than the next guy.. or girl.
I hate Provo…
wuwei wrote:I hate Provo…
At least they are getting Google fiber optic for super high speed broadband internet throughout the city! Got to find the positive where it exists!
I heard its already happening in some Wards. Particularly in wards where there is a strong snobbery regarding those who buy into every aspect of a the high performing Mormon culture. In SE Idaho the pressure is huge. My daughter just graduated and that is as much a question as where she plans on going to college. I have seen things I hadn’t thought of regarding the boys too. Many of them received their mission calls 3 and 4 months ago. They opted to skip prom and graduation parties to save money and avoid girls. Seems like we are pushing them to grow up way to fast.
I did sit in on Ward Council Sunday and a direct quote “what are these kids problems. They need to get on a mission or ruin their life”…they mean girls too.
GodisLove wrote:In SE Idaho the pressure is huge.
My daughter just graduated and that is as much a question as where she plans on going to college. I have seen things I hadn’t thought of regarding the boys too. Many of them received their mission calls 3 and 4 months ago. They opted to skip prom and graduation parties to save money and avoid girls. Seems like we are pushing them to grow up way to fast.
I did sit in on Ward Council Sunday and a direct quote “what are these kids problems. They need to get on a mission or ruin their life”…they mean girls too.
Sounds like we’re in the same ward.
SE Idaho might as well be northern Utah in many ways. It’s why lots of the rest of Idaho is largely anti-Mormon. Yeah, I know those are stereotypes, but if you haven’t lived there or known non-Mormons who have lived there . . .
GodisLove wrote:In SE Idaho the pressure is huge.
My daughter just graduated and that is as much a question as where she plans on going to college. I have seen things I hadn’t thought of regarding the boys too. Many of them received their mission calls 3 and 4 months ago. They opted to skip prom and graduation parties to save money and avoid girls. Seems like we are pushing them to grow up way to fast.
I did sit in on Ward Council Sunday and a direct quote “what are these kids problems. They need to get on a mission or ruin their life”…they mean girls too.
I’m not surprised. I’m saddened though.
God I hate being right.
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As I said, it will happen in some areas and not in others – just like everything else.
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