Will she really leave me ???

[Anonymous]

Holy Cow…holy cow you’re awesome :thumbup:

Holy Cow wrote:

she does have members of the church trying to help her see that there is more to the equation than whether or not my faith is at 100%.

Holy Cow wrote:

she also has other friends who are members…who are telling her that she should be with somebody who will enjoy bringing her to the temple and will go on temple date nights

I think this is right. I think the advice and support will vary greatly, but most people will want to see families try to stay together with a long term perspective.

Holy Cow wrote:

reality is more complex than that

I agree…it just is.

I also think that a spouse will hear or retain what they want. If they are unhappy and looking for things to place blame, they may grab on to this comment or that comment from someone else to get the support they want to feel better.

Hopefully they are open to all advice and look inward at changes in how to look at things, not so black and white, and realize there are other paths to making it work.

There are websites that approach that topic and present it as a choice of the individual, but differences in faith can be worked through if both parties will be willing.

All I can say from experience as a divorced and remarried man is that my divorce had nothing to do with changing faith. But that came in to the picture at one time, with lots of questions to me on how my faith was changing. I simply responded in ways that would show that perhaps I am a deep thinker about religion…but that was not the issue in our marriage that led to divorce, as much as it was brought up at church.

Like I said earlier….you have to focus on the real issues…not the surface symptoms. And sometimes, the choice is there to not save the marriage…sometimes it is better not to. So says my god.

[Anonymous]

NightSG wrote:

…we should be actively discouraging people from considering it.

I don’t think we can take that black and white approach. Some people should consider it. Hopefully not many. We should encourage people to really consider the issues, and how to keep promises and covenants when able to do so.

And we should listen with empathy, because some situations, no matter what scriptures say, are unhealthy to stay in. While there are costs to divorce, sometimes those are the lesser of the costs of staying in a marriage.

The important thing is to not make judgments and decisions out of fear. Fear the spouse is not worthy enough is not in the scriptures anywhere. Living up to promises and working to make the relationship better is what gospel principles teach us.

I think most bishops play that part of counseling, but can’t tell a person what to do. Because there are situations divorce is more compassionate to a person.

[Anonymous]

Holy Cow and Heber had a very good and relevant posts. Guys – Thank you for sharing your experiences in support of Jgaskill.

[Anonymous]

Articles from the Ensign on being married to a non-believing spouse:

2012: https://www.lds.org/ensign/2012/07/when-he-stopped-believing?lang=eng

1993: https://www.lds.org/ensign/1993/09/marriage-and-the-less-active-spouse?lang=eng

1988: https://www.lds.org/ensign/1988/07/partners-in-everything-but-the-church?lang=eng

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