Winning with the Leader from Outer Darkness

[Anonymous]

I recently read a book to help me in my work. It’s called “Winning with the Boss from HE [double hockey sticks]”.

I think some of its principles might apply to working with bad church leaders

F: Fly under the Radar

I: Ignore. Ignore the things they do that are annoying.

R: Retrain. When they do something positive, greet it with a smile and immediate compliance. When they behave negatively, give body language of compliance without positive reinforcement. Use your imagination on how to reward good leadership behavior and send signals that the bad leadership behavior is not something you reward. Find ways of teaching them without being preachy or offensive.

S: Stand your Ground. Stand up to the leader, but only on issues that you know EVERYONE will support you in. If it’s an isolated personal issue, you’re stuck, unfortunately.

T: Talk Turkey — engage in honest open communication about the leaders’ behavior, its impact, and consequence on the followers. Do this carefully and only when you can do so without getting “hurt” somehow.

So, how do you fly under the radar at church? How do you “retrain” a struggling church leader when you don’t have formal authority to do so?

[Anonymous]

Had to look with a thread title like that.

Unfortunately I deal with it by remaining silent. I just don’t say much of anything at church. It’s actually easy because I can’t verbally communicate my ideas very well. It’s a definite weakness I have. I fly under the radar and ignore more than anything.

I wouldn’t even begin to know how to approach retrain. Bring a bag of dog biscuits to church? 😆

When reading stand your ground the very first thing that popped into my head was the Simpsons episode “Bart the General.” In that episode Homer goes over the “code of the schoolyard.”

[Author]

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