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This post rings all sorts of alarms. Please read it without approving it, so we can talk about how to approach it.
I will send a PM explaining that the admins and mods need to approve all new participants’ posts before they are published, and that it might take a while.
I don’t know that we are the proper forum. I think it could be for real if that is the question, and I understand how some leaders may say “keep quiet about your fundamentalist past” but people need an outlet, it’s not healthy to think you are required to keep everything inside. I think they probably need more help & counseling than we would be able to provide. Not sure the leaders handled it well, but I actually agree with their conclusion. It’s probably better this person not tell anyone and everyone in their ward they were involved in Mormon fundamentalism/polygamy. I don’t think most people (members) are generally able to process that well. Not that it’s an exact comparison, but I would also not recommend someone go around telling everyone they were sexually abused when they first meet someone new. Their other problems seem pretty standard: single and lonely, told to read and pray instead of doing proactive things that might actually help them solve their own dilemmas.
I agree, Brian. I am inclined to approve the post and see how it goes, but, if we do, I think we need to keep a close eye on it. What I don’t want is just one more flame war on polygamy to develop.
I sent the PM, so I’d like to wait and see how everyone else feels about it.
I was about to approve it, but I can’t get past the part that talks about the fundamentalist Mormons finding her, being abused emotionally and sexually but then being allowed to escape – but only after she was taken by them on a tour or Temple Square . . . Unless I’m reading it incorrectly, it’s not making any sense to me. Am I paranoid about this, or does there seem to be something “off” about the intro post? (Still sitting in the Parking Lot section.)
Postscript: I did some more digging online, based on the info in her profile. I think I found her: a 26-year-old living in New York who identifies as “Christian” and who, I would guess, based on what I can see, is not Mormon. I might be wrong, but the info seems to match. Is someone willing to send her a PM and ask her what sort of topics she wants to discuss, what her primary motivation is, where she is from, to provide a little more detail about her experience at Temple Square, etc. – just to try to get a better feel for whether or not she is legit?
She emailed me asking if/when the post would be approved because she is looking for help. I replied that I would edit the post to the essence of her question and approve it. I’m chopping out the whole weird polygamy story. here’s what I wrote her:
Hi,
Your post is somewhat controversial. The moderators started to discuss what to do with it, and I it looks like they were all thinking someone else had contacted you about it. Sorry for the mix up and delay.
The main problem is that Mormon fundamentalism (aka polygamy) is very controversial within the community. Nobody is comfortable with it … because it’s just plain awkward to deal with it ever having been practiced our religion. You are also jumping in to talk about a story of being abused, perhaps criminally kidnapped. Everyone who runs the site are volunteers, everyday folks, and that kind of stuff is waaaaay over our head. You may need professional counseling to process that kind of experience. So it sets of alarm bells of wondering if we will cause more harm than good by trying to help. Another problem is that isn’t the kind of thing you tell people when you first meet them
Although I don’t agree with why, I agree with your Bishop and Stake Pres that you probably shouldn’t go around telling ward members about that part of your past. It’s very doubtful most people will be mature and spiritually-grounded enough to handle it. It’s perhaps better to share that with close friends, once you have a solid relationship of trust.
I’m going to approve your post (as the admin instead of as a moderator). But I am going to chop off the most of the beginning about being quasi-abducted and abused by polygamists. That isn’t a part of your question. It seems the essence of your question is all contained in the last paragraph — how to deal with being lonely, and with being told ineffective solutions to your problems in church. Reading scriptures and praying will probably not help you meet people. Going outside your comfort zone, going out of the house to meet people will help you meet people
Once your first post is approved, future posts go straight to the boards.
Here is the discussion thread we had when wornoutsneakers first posted an introduction. I think it is crystal clear now that sue is a troll and that we need to ban her under both names. I’m going to try to do some more digging and see if this person has posted under any other names.
It looks like it’s only the two names, as far as I can tell. I am planning on banning both names this evening, unless someone objects.
No problem here. The Mom in me is protective of our mission and of the genuine voices that come here. Thanks for keeping an eye out. No objections.
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