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journeygirl wrote:
Today that same high counsel member sat on the stand, and I couldn’t help think he was looking down on us and judging my husband and I. Not a great Sunday experience.
As someone who has spent time time on the stand, I’ll say it’s difficult not to look down – that’s where everybody is. I do hope he wasn’t judging though.
If it is a stake-level calling, the Stake President is responsible to consult with the individual’s bishop to determine worthiness prior to issuing a call. This is usually done through the ward’s high council rep. That is how worthiness is determined, not through the meeting where the calling is extended. Sounds like someone hasn’t been reading their church handbook…
Thanks for more comments. You all have some good suggestions and kind words that are helping me deal with this situation. 🙂 We haven’t heard anything else about all this. Is it typical to get back to someone in this situation, or will they probably just move on and not let us know what happened?
The ideal would be follow-up no matter what, but lots of people won’t follow-up if the call isn’t officially extended. It’s like job interviews: the ideal is for all candidates who have face-to-face interviews to be contacted, but I’ve had multiple situations in my own life when no follow-up occurred if I wasn’t the final candidate chosen. It’s frustrating to be left hanging while still wondering, but I’ve learned to let it go and not worry about it. If they want to offer the calling, they will contact your husband again. In the meantime, try not to sweat it.
Update: So the high councilman must have passed on info on my husband to one of the stake counselors or stake president, because they called my bishop to have my husband come in to talk to him. He went by himself at first, but as he explained to the bishop what happened, the bishop had me come too to explain my feelings. He hadn’t been told anything by the stake, so he was pretty surprised by what we told him. He agreed with us that it seemed like what happened was wrong. He didn’t want to criticize the stake leaders, but he said he would talk to them to figure out their point of view of what happened. As for the offense our high councilman was so concerned about, the bishop also agreed with us that it was something that my husband and I can deal with ourselves and that my husband wouldn’t have needed to confess it to the bishop, and certainly not to a high councilman. He said he would see if my husband can still get that calling, since he was the one who recommended him, but if not, the bishop said he would give my husband a calling in the ward.
So at least the bishop supports us, which is more important to me than what the stake leaders think. I guess we are winning on leadership roulette on the local level! I feel so much better after having talked to the bishop. I am still interested to hear what the stake perspective is, but it doesn’t matter that much now that we know our bishop supports us.
🙂 journeygirl, I’m very glad to hear that at least you have a local Bishop who seems like a good guy. It can make all the difference to have someone who is willing to listen and can understand other people’s view points.
Again, being that your Bishop basically said it was a non-issue (from a confession standpoint) its good to know that your husband can still have an opportunity to contribute to the ward.
Keep us in the loop.
-SBRed
:thumbup: Sounds to me like you might have had an overly zealous HCman (Bishop wannabe) on an ego trip. I’ve served on several HCs and extended many stake callings. Unless things have recently changed, worthiness interviews are to be conducted by Bps and/or SPs prior to name submission to the stake for HC approval. If the HC or SP still have questions about worthiness, the Bp is notified and asked to act in his role of Judge in Israel. (conduct another worthiness interview) Once cleared by the Bp and SP, a HCman is assigned to extend the calling, with NO need to question further about worthiness.
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