You need to earn your spiritual grade!

[Anonymous]

( sigh). I feel lousy and pressured right now. Yesterday I went to a YSA fireside. It was a late night fireside with an hour and half drive home. I told my friends I’m not planning on going to the conference this morning where the apostle is giving a presentation because mornings are so hArd for me and I don’t have the energy to deal with the crowd. I also mentioned how it has been challenging enough to drag myself to my early morning courses looking like I just got out of the bed every single morning and it is embarrassing. I am not strong enough to do the same thing to show up while everyone else looks very nice. My friend said ” oh yes you can! Remember you also need to work and earn your ” spiritual grade”. It makes me want to cry because then I’m a failure. 😥

Thanks for letting me vent.

[Anonymous]

Earn your spiritual grade? I have never heard this particular phrase of LDS cultural guilt hooey.

I read through your old posts and saw that you are bipolar. I have a son who is bipolar and have watched the pain and torment that the condition causes. I was so glad when he graduated from High school so he wouldn’t have to be forced to get up in the morning. He knows he doesn’t function well in the mornings and tries to schedule work and classes at later times whenever possible. I think mornings are awful for most bipolar people. People don’t understand mental issues and the challenges that come with them. People need more education. If you had a physical issue that caused you not to function in the mornings like maybe arthritis, people would understand, but mental challenges are invisible and people cannot see through their own dark glasses. You didnt ask for this, you didnt cause this. You don’t need to be so hard on yourself. God knows the challenges you face and loves you for who you are right now. My son is starting to appreciate that being bipolar is a part of what makes him unique and interesting and think differently than others. So forget this silly spiritual grade analogy. Life isn’t one big test. It’s a journey, one step at a time and we’re all on our own unique path.

[Anonymous]

If that idea works for someone else, fine – but the only standard in the actual theology is doing what you are able to do, with the assurance that the Atonement makes up the difference. Nobody knows what someone else can do. Even we don’t know fully what we can do. Just do your best, whatever that is, and try not to let others’ expectations weight on you, particularly since you are bi-polar. Work on maintaining a handle on that, to the best you can, knowing the hand you were dealt is different than those who say those things.

They care; they just don’t understand. Try to remember that. They really do care; they just don’t understand.

[Anonymous]

Janes now wrote:

My friend said ” oh yes you can! Remember you also need to work and earn your ” spiritual grade”. It makes me want to cry because then I’m a failure. 😥

Old-Timer wrote:

If that idea works for someone else, fine – but the only standard in the actual theology is doing what you are able to do, with the assurance that the Atonement makes up the difference. Nobody knows what someone else can do. Even we don’t know fully what we can do. Just do your best, whatever that is

I agree with Ray’s comment. He seems like a smart guy! I also want to add that the Atonement also makes up the difference between what is “your best” and your current performance as long as you are sincerely trying. Brad Wilcox said, “The Atonement doesn’t just make up the difference – The Atonement makes ALL the difference!” But when I make comments like this in certain SS settings people tend to think that I am making excuses for substandard performance – They can’t quite argue with the logic (and the scriptures!!!) but they look at me funny.

I once had a hard time bridging the gap between what I saw as a simple Quid-pro-quo reward system of the 3 degrees of glory and the Atonement of Love, Mercy, Grace, and Forgiveness. M&G had some very helpful words for me that might be applicable now to you:

Quote:

Roy,

Let me start by saying I’m sorry you had a rough time. For what it’s worth, I think a majority of LDS are probably like I have been for much of my life – stuck in the Pharisee phase. We come to this life understanding justice, the lower law. Watch any toddlers fighting over a toy or listen to a first grader whine “That’s not fair!” What we are here to learn is mercy – not just for ourselves, we all want that – but for others. When we want others to receive mercy just as badly as we want to receive it ourselves, or even moreso, then we are like Christ who descended below all things to elevate the rest of us.

It’s easy to get frustrated when others get caught up in pounding the gavel and warning of hellfire but we don’t need to. It’s a reflection of their understanding not God’s love. Remember that when we meet Christ, the D&C tells us that it won’t be His judgment we are praising but His LOVING KINDNESS!

The point is that your friend is limited in her understanding, as are we all. Her limitations cause her to see the Gospel in a specific limited way that is most helpful and applicable to her. Her specific “lens” of the Gospel might not be a good fit for you and may even cause damage (have you ever tried to wear another’s prescription lenses?). I do the same. My version of the Gospel isn’t more correct than anyone else’s, but it is helpful to me. I have faith that part of the Atonement is to one day overcome these limitations or IOW to give us credit for living the full Gospel (or open our eyes to the full Gospel) even though we were only capable of understanding and following a small subset of the whole with our own particularly biased perspective during mortality.

[Anonymous]

Do what is best for you! Hang in there, things will get better!

[Anonymous]

Regarding the notion of earning a “spiritual grade” you could always point out that we don’t know the grading scale, the curve, if it’s “pass/fail”, or if it’s “everyone passes.” The word “earn” is a little strong, and it seems to imply that we have to prove our grade to those around us. To me it’s difficult to say we “earn” anything – one could argue we earn almost nothing and almost any grade would be a “gift” anyways.

I tend to think that Heavenly Father is a lot more liberal with his love and saving compassion that we give Him credit for.

[Anonymous]

There’s only 1 spiritual grade God really cares about. Goat or sheep? (Matt 25).

[Anonymous]

Also, have you read the Stephen Robinson books (Believing Christ and Following Christ).

He tells a great story about a teenage diving competition. After he and his friends had delivered crisp, clean dives another kid turned up. He did a sloppy but ambitious dive and landed with a splash. When he scored more highly and Stephen indignantly asked why, the reply came back ‘degree of difficulty.’

I goes on to say that there’s no point comparing levels of development to each other as no-one knows our degree of difficulty.

3-4 years ago, when my whole family was active and my wife and I were TBM, getting to church on time had a low DoD. These days, taking the kids on my own, and uncertain why I even bother doing that, when I slump into my chair by 5 past the hour, but still in time for sacrament, I consider it an achievement!

I love the fact that in the final evaluation we believe we will have a personalised accounting.

[Anonymous]

mackay11 wrote:

Also, have you read the Stephen Robinson books (Believing Christ and Following Christ).

He tells a great story about a teenage diving competition. After he and his friends had delivered crisp, clean dives another kid turned up. He did a sloppy but ambitious dive and landed with a splash. When he scored more highly and Stephen indignantly asked why, the reply came back ‘degree of difficulty.’

I goes on to say that there’s no point comparing levels of development to each other as no-one knows our degree of difficulty.

I completely recommend “Believing Christ.” I can’t say the same about “Following Christ.” I wrote a book review that details my problems with the latter book: http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=2675

I don’t think we really understand how the Atonement works. Does the Atonement merely level the playing field so that individual effort is the only measure of achievement? It still ends up in a ranking system that I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with. It’s still a race, just now the race is fair. What if my earthly parents were somehow given supernatural knowledge of all of their 5 children’s aptitudes, struggles, problems, and thoughts and at the end of the day they were to rank these children from best to worst. Even if they take into account degree of difficulty – such a comparison would still crush me and instill unnecessary rivalry.

I admit that such a reward system has some precedent from the Bible and modern revelations… it’s just not my cup of tea. :sick:

[Anonymous]

Roy wrote:

mackay11 wrote:

Also, have you read the Stephen Robinson books (Believing Christ and Following Christ).

He tells a great story about a teenage diving competition. After he and his friends had delivered crisp, clean dives another kid turned up. He did a sloppy but ambitious dive and landed with a splash. When he scored more highly and Stephen indignantly asked why, the reply came back ‘degree of difficulty.’

I goes on to say that there’s no point comparing levels of development to each other as no-one knows our degree of difficulty.

I completely recommend “Believing Christ.” I can’t say the same about “Following Christ.” I wrote a book review that details my problems with the latter book: http://forum.staylds.com/viewtopic.php?f=10&t=2675

I don’t think we really understand how the Atonement works. Does the Atonement merely level the playing field so that individual effort is the only measure of achievement? It still ends up in a ranking system that I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with. It’s still a race, just now the race is fair. What if my earthly parents were somehow given supernatural knowledge of all of their 5 children’s aptitudes, struggles, problems, and thoughts and at the end of the day they were to rank these children from best to worst. Even if they take into account degree of difficulty – such a comparison would still crush me and instill unnecessary rivalry.

I admit that such a reward system has some precedent from the Bible and modern revelations… it’s just not my cup of tea. :sick:

Maybe it’s not a race against each other in any way at all. Maybe it’s only ourselves we’re competing with.

In the parable of the talents… The guy with 2 and the guy with 5 got the same recognition. They only had to use their time and resources based on what they had been given. There was no advantage for the guy with 5 or comparison made between them. It was only the one who did nothing at all with what he had who missed out.

So I agree that the idea of us competing with each other is unpleasant. If God does have many mansions, I don’t believe they’re only available for the top 30%. I think that they’re available for all his children who take their situation in life and do the best they can with it. That could end up being 99% or 10% of his children. I lean towards the higher number. I certainly don’t consider it to be a competition where only a certain proportion get the best reward.

[Anonymous]

I am not a morning person either.

I don’t believe God will mark you down for missing YSA. God sees the wide picture. He is more interested in what you try and do with your life than point scoring, and he also knows your weaknesses and problems.

God is a teacher, but he provides a way for all of us to pass if we should choose it.

[Anonymous]

Thanks also for your book reviews. Sounds like I’ll be looking up Believing Christ and giving the other one a miss

[Anonymous]

mackay11 wrote:

Maybe it’s not a race against each other in any way at all. Maybe it’s only ourselves we’re competing with.

In the parable of the talents… The guy with 2 and the guy with 5 got the same recognition. They only had to use their time and resources based on what they had been given. There was no advantage for the guy with 5 or comparison made between them. It was only the one who did nothing at all with what he had who missed out.

So I agree that the idea of us competing with each other is unpleasant. If God does have many mansions, I don’t believe they’re only available for the top 30%. I think that they’re available for all his children who take their situation in life and do the best they can with it. That could end up being 99% or 10% of his children. I lean towards the higher number. I certainly don’t consider it to be a competition where only a certain proportion get the best reward.

Thanks also for your book reviews. Sounds like I’ll be looking up Believing Christ and giving the other one a miss.

I do prefer that I’m only competing with my own potential. But I still wonder about the affect of the atonement. Bro. Robinson in Believing Christ likens it to a financial merger where Christ’s infinite assets swallow my finite debts. If the best that I can do is not nearly good enough and Christ steps in for some/all to save them from their debts – then we all become equal – we all become perfect in Christ. We share in his perfection!

The big remaining question is – What is the determining factor for who Jesus “saves” and who he doesn’t? I have my own answer but I recommend that each person seek their own.

I admit that I am personally more attuned to grace than works but I have no qualms with people that are comfortable with a works based paradigm – Works worked for me for a long time…until it didn’t.

I think that part of the problem that people with a works based paradigm have with “easy” grace is that they think that if the pressure were to be relieved then there would be no motivation to try anymore. That everyone will just turn into giant spiritual coach potatoes. This may be true for some individuals but I don’t see this happening as a general rule. The grace of the atonement allows me the freedom to pursue good for its own sake without the entanglements of guilt and anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much for your support! It means the world to me!

I agree, mornings are very difficult for a bipolar person. My college is not following the accommodations I need so I’m stuck In the mornings courses this quarter and I’m not doing very well. I’m hoping to find some legal advocacy soon so this doesn’t happen again.

I think I have read the book, ” believe in Christ” but I cannot remember what it was about so it is good time to read it again! I will ask around and see if I can borrow it from someone. Thank you for sharing the reviews about ” following Christ” . You probably saved me from unnecessary guilt and pain from reading that book.

I will work on being ok with my limitations and not let people bother me about it. I’m also going through a FC so I’m not sure what I believe in either.

[Anonymous]

James now, in case you look for it online, it’s ‘believing Christ’ not ‘believe in Christ’

[Author]

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