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September 23, 2014 at 9:44 pm #289789
Anonymous
GuestHi Mom3, I am here and I read most of the posts. I’m not sure these are great excuses, but the primary reason is that my life isn’t in a place that I can participate as much as I want to. A secondary reason is that while I agree with much of what’s posted here, I’m not sophisticated and worry that my posts don’t add much (not asking for reinforcement, just the way I feel).
Cheers.
September 23, 2014 at 10:19 pm #289790Anonymous
GuestGood reminder! September 23, 2014 at 10:51 pm #289791Anonymous
GuestI’m also the type who drops by the forum at least once a day to read up on new posts, but whenever I go to make a post, I always chicken out. Very unusual for such a chatterbox like myself. I think this forum is the only one where I’ve been so quiet. But here, there we go, I’m responding, now.
September 23, 2014 at 11:08 pm #289792Anonymous
Guest[Admin Note]: If anyone is worried about being moderated actively, we have over 5,000 public discussion threads with over 65,000 comments (without counting mine) over the course of almost 6 years. We have exactly 127 instances of “admin notes” (direct moderation and warnings); there probably are about that same number of times when standard moderation has been employed without an explicit admin note, but those happened during the first half of our existence, before we started using admin notes; I estimate we have banned perhaps 5 active participants and deleted about a dozen posts. There have been times when comments and posts have been edited slightly (for example, to maintain confidentiality, like removing the Bishop’s last name in Bridget Night’s current post), but those don’t fit the category of classic moderation.
That means we have moderated actively about 1 of every 250-500 comments, deleted about 2 posts every year, and banned about 1 person every year.
Yes, we moderate here and always have, since we have a particular mission that fails without moderation, but I think the numbers show we don’t do it aggressively, by common online standards. Please, don’t hesitate to comment out of concern over being moderated.
September 23, 2014 at 11:59 pm #289793Anonymous
GuestWow – thanks. I really didn’t expect 2 pages of voice – but I am glad to see it. I have a reason beyond just having my name not be the only one on the forum – Saturday I attended a seminar with the Bushmans. I didn’t have clear expectations when I went and I am glad because it allowed me to see and learn. What I learned was in a room of 75+ adults – I would guess 3/4 of the group were in a StayLDS mode. We only had moments to mingle, but when we did the stories were there. I could also piece together the stories in people’s questions during Q&A time. I have weighed that meeting for nearly 72 hours and I am convinced that more people struggle than let on. They need us badly. Even if they aren’t on here, our conversations help us help others where we find them. This chasm between the traditional cultural church and the broader road isn’t going away, no easy bridge will be built between the two, and the weariness of the road will not easily be solved – but we can be ambassadors, friends, supports for people.
If you lurk or only drop in once in a while, please drop a “Hi” an emoticon or thumbs up when you can – if we look like an echo chamber people who need the conversations we have here won’t get the help they need.
Love you all – Seriously I do. Thanks.
September 24, 2014 at 12:03 am #289794Anonymous
GuestMom3 you have no idea how important this board is to me. I am so grateful for those who post openly and often. I am new to this and I am not sure exactly where my faith lies on the crisis spectrum, but as I read posts from people like you it helps me. I am very chatty in person, but I have never spoken aloud of my doubts. I am still uncomfortable giving voice to many of the things that go through my head. Please keep posting and as I get to the point that I understand myself a little better I too will join in. I promise. 🙂 September 24, 2014 at 1:56 am #289795Anonymous
GuestMy time is limited, but I have been trying to do better. Thanks for the heads up to all of us. I lurked for many years before I ever posted. I love being able to bring a concern, question, or whatever else to this board. Always plenty of things to think about! September 24, 2014 at 6:20 am #289796Anonymous
GuestI’ll quit talking so much. 
Sometimes I don’t have anything to say.
Sometimes it’s already been said and I don’t think I need to repeat it.
I’m not much of a cheerleader or someone that has to say something. Usually I just read. Often my responses are “read the handbook, it’s available to all.”
September 24, 2014 at 10:59 am #289797Anonymous
GuestThoreau wrote:I’ll quit talking so much.

Sometimes I don’t have anything to say.
Sometimes it’s already been said and I don’t think I need to repeat it.
I’m not much of a cheerleader or someone that has to say something. Usually I just read. Often my responses are “read the handbook, it’s available to all.”
I do sometimes feel this way. I’ll see a question or request for response and somebody already said what I would say. Sometimes there are things I would add, but sometimes not.
And I think about that thread about family scripture study that has no answers. Even when we were a TBM family we didn’t do very well at it, and I honestly have nothing to base any response on to that question.
September 24, 2014 at 12:20 pm #289798Anonymous
GuestMom3, I really enjoy your posts. I don’t respond as much as I used to because, short answer, I got busted by DH for reading this site.
😮 So now I use an incognito browser window, which means I have to sign in every time I visit, and I hate HATE signing in to anything because I can never remember all my passwords. So I’m a lot more likely to read without commenting these days.September 24, 2014 at 12:33 pm #289799Anonymous
GuestHi Mom3, I love your posts and comments and you are right that some of us could probably post more. I’m only able to get on the site a few times/week, so some days I make a few or several comments and other days, nothing. I wish I were able to get on every day. This site keeps me sane.
Two other things keep me from posting more often:
1. I feel like many things I’m thinking, feeling and questioning have already been discussed in detail before I joined, but I don’t want to search back through all the threads to find out, so I just let it go.
2. There are days I have sooooo much I want to post about that I can’t decide what to choose. Like right now, I’m dealing with the existence of God (or not), existence after death (or not), Hastening the Work, who the people are that are joining the church, how impossible it feels to make any comments that don’t tow the party line in my ward, living as a closet doubter, and many more. Maybe one day soon I’ll post on all the things buzzing around in my head and overwhelm the moderators
September 24, 2014 at 1:49 pm #289800Anonymous
GuestHonestly the reason I don’t reply often is I’m on my mobile and it’s much more difficult to do. Plus I sometimes don’t feel like I have anything to add. I do read the posts though
September 24, 2014 at 10:17 pm #289801Anonymous
GuestMom3, I agree that people that are struggling in the church need us. Sometimes there are posts that I’m not sure how to respond to. I have become friends with Mike from this forum. We talked on the phone Sunday. He used to vent a lot more on here in the past, but he’s more quiet now, since he’s worked out much of his issues. The truth is about me is that I tend to be more of a loner and quiet, but I’m much more talkative in one-on-one conversations. Mom3, I do enjoy reading your posts. Anyway, if you post something from now on and I can’t think of anything to see I’ll just post an emotion icon. Like right about you. 🙂 September 24, 2014 at 10:50 pm #289802Anonymous
GuestI appreciate your comments. I check this forum everyday. Even though I find the time to lurk, it’s one thing for me to follow the conversations, and it’s another for me to try and form a response of my own. But this forum has seen me through difficult times and I’m grateful for all the input I’ve seen. Your thoughts have helped me more than you know :wave: September 25, 2014 at 12:48 am #289803Anonymous
GuestI have well over 500 post and when I first stated my faith crisis/transition I was on the high council and the new knowledge was consuming me. I was desperate in trying to stayLDS. I read and posted everyday but I have grown tired of all the stress and I have found most of the answers I was looking for. If there is something new then I will respond but I can’t keep rehashing it all over and over. It is too hard. I enjoy many of the regulars here and read and sometimes respond to those that are new but truth be told, I am just tired and have found it hurts too much. -
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