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Hello! I have been reading comments on this website for a few months now, but finally decided to jump in. Here’s a little of my story: I’m a young single adult and a recent graduate from BYU-“I-do” (I didn’t
Even though my parents split up, I always went to church on Sunday with my mom. In my youth I was often called the “Nephi” of my family. Despite facing difficult trials, I remained resilient and diligently followed the standards of the church. But, even though I looked great on paper, I struggled with severe depression throughout my entire teen years due to the challenges in my home life. Fortunately, with the help of medicine, I have come a long way from that. It was because of the struggles of my depression that I learned to rely so much on the church because everything else at the time seemed so hopeless.
I have also always been a bit of a nonconformist and out-of-the box thinker. Even during my “Nephi years” I bombarded my Bishop and YW leaders with all sorts of deep questions long before learning about some of the more controversial issues in the church. You could say that I’m naturally a very curious, analytical thinker. Since then, I have looked into some of the more controversial issues, and have been deeply disturbed by some of them (I am an avid Mormon Stories listener). Currently, I feel a constant internal dissonance among my current thoughts of the LDS Church.
After going through a bit of an agnostic period a few years ago (while continuing to go to church) I’ve stepped away from that. I have taken Terryl Givens advice and have chosen to believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I can’t say that “I know” but I’m just trying to “believe.” While I have chosen to believe in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and have not yet chosen to believe in the LDS church, but I would like to get there. I no longer believe that the LDS church is either “all right or all wrong.” I do not have that black-and-white mentality anymore. I am trying to transition into a comfortable, but active “cafeteria Mormon” lifestyle that views the Gospel as wholesome with incredible truths, but not perfect. It has been this faith transition that has brought me here.
Welcome. Sounds like you are in a pretty good place, right now. I, like you and several others here, don’t “know” there is a God or Jesus, but I do believe they exist. Likewise, many of us here don’t accept the church as all true or not- there is middle ground. This is a safe place to ask questions and sometimes just think out loud. Don’t be a stranger. Glad to have you here. Fwiw, you don’t think too much – unless it gets so obsessive that it impacts your ability to live a productive life. I call myself a “thinker tinkerer” – meaning I don’t take things apart and put them together with my hands but rather with my mind. It’s just what I do, but I don’t expect others to do it. People are who people are, and real charity includes accepting that simple fact and loving people regardless of differences.
Welcome, Your journey is yours alone. It is both similar and different to what I have experienced. I hope that we can help each other in having a wider perspective together.
Like others here, your story has both similarities and differences to mine. My mom once called me her Nephi. I was the good kid, the reliable one, the believer. When I stopped believing everything, it crushed me to think of how disappointing it would be to my mom. That didn’t stop me from following my conscience, but it did stop me from talking to anyone about my feelings, and I think that terror and paralysis of talking to anyone about it all really stunted my growth. I have since been able to talk about things to my wife, and it has improved our relationship a ton. Not everyone has that experience, but thankfully I did. I hope you continue to post here and let us in on all that thinking you’re doing. We enjoy hearing new perspectives and discussing things that are hard to talk about in other settings.
Welcome! Glad you are here and I hope you find the forum helpful. It have provided me an outlet and a community that I feel very blessed to be a part of it.
Welcome. You’ll be interested that a number of people on this forum have suffered depression. I’m one of them. You’ll also find that some of the people here are much older than you, but went through similar life experiences at your age.
Welcome and glad you found us. I think you will find this forum helpful for where you are at now. It certainly has provided me a community I feel safe in expressing my thoughts and doubts.
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