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Answer to your prayers may come right away or a day later. Your answer may come not in the way you hope for, it may take a month or years, your answer may not come in this lifetime at all. Doesn’t that just about cover all possibilities? This is what faith is? I can never get past this without disappointment and a step back when I here it.
When I hear things like this I always wonder, of what use is prayer when answers come in some form we don’t recognize? Wouldn’t God give us an answer we understand? It all seems pretty pointless to me. I think for some people this kind of faith just brings comfort. Comfort that whatever happens is part of the plan, we just don’t recognize it, or the answer just isn’t here yet. A sense that everything will work out for the best. Covering all possibilities allows for this sense of comfort even when things are bad and don’t get better. But personally, I would much rather get answers when I need them and in a form I can recognize.
This is where a pile of grace is needed. Those speaking have never, ever had the crushing blow like a faith crisis. In their lives the story always turned out right. That doesn’t make them wrong, it just doesn’t give us a smooth answer. In a weird way, though they don’t know it, they need our love even more. We have a gift of living with not getting the right answer. And yet we move forward.
Fwiw, that description matches my experiences, generally. I do understand where you are coming from but I do feel like some of my prayers have been answered in the past. I have had a big dispute over the past two weeks or so, partly alluded to in the hypocrisy thread I started. I have been to the temple, and I prayed about this twice, and the answer has been “do nothing,” each time, very clearly. The more I think about it, the more this answer has made sense, since when I tried to defend myself it made things worse, and they won’t accept apologies either. So I don’t engage with it and am not reading what is being written about me. I know some of you might think this came out of my own head, but it’s honestly a better answer than some of the others I came up with.
On the subject of romance and my career, I really haven’t noticed the answers. On others I have.
I too have felt like I received answers to prayers sometimes quick and sometimes long after the fact. However, similar to the discussion on blessings, if we broaden the definition of what constitutes as a blessing to be almost anything and broaden the timetable to be almost anytime then what we are really saying is that blessings are in the eye of the beholder.
God will always answer your prayers and The promised blessings will come in God’s timetable! True statements … from a certain point of view.
They are covering all their bases. Most prophecies and promised blessings work the same way. Specifics don’t work well in religion. That being said, I think there is comfort in believing if you don’t receive an answer, or a requested “blessing”, you don’t really need it after all.
That isn’t really the message I would like to hear either. Why doesn’t God always answer prayers immediately? I have come to a couple of conclusions, take them for what they are worth. Sometimes people want an answer for the wrong reason. Sometimes people ask amiss. Sometimes people have hearts and minds that are far away from God. Sometimes people truly want an answer, but won’t accept the responsibility. God doesn’t bother to answer idle curiousity. Sometimes people ask questions which ultimately are unimportant, and history will play out the same whether they receive an answer or not.
Personally, I have received answers to hundreds of questions. The single most important thing, in my opinion, is to pour out your heart when you pray, and the second most important thing is to listen for an answer. Make sure that you put aside enough time. Dont expect a $50 answer from a $2 prayer. Set goals to increase both the quality and the length of prayer. The brother of Jared didn’t see the finger of the Lord because of a 3 minute prayer.
Kipper wrote:
Answer to your prayers may come right away or a day later. Your answer may come not in the way you hope for, it may take a month or years, your answer may not come in this lifetime at all.Doesn’t that just about cover all possibilities? This is what faith is? I can never get past this without disappointment and a step back when I here it.
I found having hope that a miracle would happen was frustrating. It was like sucking air. It would not make me happy. Rarely did the things I pray for unlock, and they would go on for decades — and some still do.
I find it better to simply “prepare for the worst and hope for the best”. I ask for things, but only when my own efforts have failed or i think my whole life is about to tank due to circumstances beyond my control. When I pray, it’s more about feeling a connection with God than any structure.
So, you pray for what you need, or what others need, work for it to happen if you can (sometimes there is nothing you can do), but don’t expect it to occur. None of this massive visualization, psych-up stuff like you read in Drawing on the Powers of Heaven by Grant Von Harrison. It’s action that creates change, so I exercise faith only to the extent it motivates me to action, with some vague, but un-expectant hope that God might help me. And I am careful about what I tackle. If the project is clearly not going to be successful without effort that is beyond what I feel I can/want to give (after a reasonable period of trying), I’ll abandon it for something else challenging, but apparently more attainable.
There is just far too much uncertainty in God’s willingness to act, even if I believe whole heartedly and with full faith in Him. When He doesn’t deliver, in spite of my best efforts, the disappointment is way more devastating and frustrating than getting what I asked for, in most circumstances.
Again, my goal is inner peace/joy/happiness, and unfortunately, the kind of pschye up approach to prayer and faith apparently advocated by enthusiasts and traditional beleivers (some of them) doesn’t make me happy. A balanced approach — acknowledging God may help, but not expecting him to, while working as hard as I can to make the event happen is what is important.
And, sometimes, people’s spiritual experiences aren’t what others expect through no fault of their own, including effort, sincerity, and intent. Trying to assign blame to those who don’t receive answers to their prayers goes directly against pretty much everything that was said in the actual talk that prompted this thread. Sometimes, even often, righteous, faithful, diligent people don’t receive answers to their prayers.
I tend to pray for things within my control to same degree. It helps as a form of mindfulness and purpose reminder. For example I may pray that our home can be a safe and welcoming place. Each member of my family has a role in making that happen.
I may pray that a child will be able to study hard and do their best on an upcoming exam.
I might pray that we might have the required stamina to see a long project through to completion.
In this way, I still find prayer useful even if I do not expect divine intervention as a consequence.
An acquaintance asked if it would be appropriate to pray that her old boyfriend would change his mind and get back together with her. I told her that this is a terrible idea. First because I do not believe that God works that way. Second and more importantly because as long as she is praying to get back together with an old boyfriend, she is not moving on and focusing on making important changes for herself and her future.
Maybe it would be helpful for her to pray to get back together with this old boyfriend and for God to respond with an emphatic, “NO!”
😆 Roy wrote:
Maybe it would be helpful for her to pray to get back together with this old boyfriend and for God to respond with an emphatic, “NO!”😆
God’s no is often delivered by implication — through decades of silence. Better off to think “If God wants him back in my life, I’ll consider it then. For now, he ain’t a-changing, so I’ll go ahead and try to find someone else.”
Kipper – I feel the same way about the phrase “endure to the end.” I apologize that this went a little long. I tried to keep it on point (and cut out several more distracting tangents then are still here). I hope that my intent to relate comes across. Before I explain my comparison to your feelings, I want to note where I differ slightly. I personally feel that I have been greatly blessed by God. I see His hand in my life in many places. I don’t see many direct answers to prayers, but I do see circumstances lining up in a way that is very fortunate. Because I know God loves me, I choose to believe that He influenced things to allow those things to line up. So while I don’t feel like I get “answers” very often, I do believe God hears my prayers and concerns and takes them into account on the occasions when He choses to get involved. But I don’t feel His involvement is ever major or direct. More of a nudge for me to read a certain article, talk to a certain person, etc.
I hope that gives some context to my own frustrations on this topic. I personally do not care if a prayer isn’t answered right away or next week. I do believe God is paying attention and will give me the blessings that will most impactful in bringing joy to my life. But, as several others have said, I also believe that in order for Him to be able to bless me, I have to be doing what is in my power. This frustrates me when I hear people in the church say “if you’re praying, fasting, yahda yahda seminary list, and still not getting an answer, just endure.” How long do I have to endure? What if there are ways that I can progress if I change up the script just a little bit?
If I had “endured” in the challenges presented to me in my hometown after graduating college, I would likely hold an unfulfilling job (if any), be married to a man who has very little career progression opportunities, and be content but not happy. Instead, I chose to move away and with very little direct intervention from God (I do believe that He directly influenced my choice of destination) made that plan happen. I hate the phrase “tell God your plans and He will laugh.” In my life, I have found that nothing really happens unless I’m working on it. And occasionally, for not always obvious reasons, God will step in with a little nudge.
My life now is much better than it was before I moved to Denver. I am so glad I am here. But the “endure to the end” statement still comes up. I left the singles ward a few years early because I did everything I was supposed to (going “above and beyond to ask guys on dates – I was literally praised by my bishop for this) and all that happened was I became more mature than everyone around me. I have now skipped more church than I have attended this year because I have had unanswered questions for several years and after doing everything and never receiving a satisfying answer, I have been told to “endure” to gain my testimony. In my experience, enduring alone leads to stagnation. Enduring while trying to find my way forward works better.
Daughter – Daughter1 wrote:
I personally feel that I have been greatly blessed by God. I see His hand in my life in many places. I don’t see many direct answers to prayers, but I do see circumstances lining up in a way that is very fortunate. Because I know God loves me, I choose to believe that He influenced things to allow those things to line up. So while I don’t feel like I get “answers” very often, I do believe God hears my prayers and concerns and takes them into account on the occasions when He choses to get involved. But I don’t feel His involvement is ever major or direct. More of a nudge for me to read a certain article, talk to a certain person, etc.
I think that is wonderful. I tend to think of this as the “tender mercies” model. My own faith crisis began with the stillbirth of our third child. Our child died a week from the schechuled due date and she could have been delivered early and done just fine. There never was a clear cause of death (the fetal death certificate listed acute heart failure because they did not know what else to put down). Therefore, it seems reasonable to assume that her body could have supported her life outside of the womb. It is very difficult for me to conceptualize why the doctor or medical staff or myself or my wife did not receive some sort of prompting that something was very wrong. If God sends nudges, why didn’t he nudge us to get to the hospital? DW and I were both serving in high profile ward callings and living the commandments just about as well as we could. Maybe God has some greater purpose in it all but I sure cannot figure it out.
Outside of that experience I consider myself to be very fortunate and could easily see myself going with a “tender mercies” model. I believe that each of us are able to adopt the religious and theological models that more or less fit our lived experience. Another individual with a different lived experience might find more meaning and perhaps a better fit with a different model.
Roy, I do not understand the pain you must feel from that loss. And what I am about to say is not meant to try to compare my experiences with yours. But I want to clarify that I do not always feel these nudges. When I do, they are not always related to what I am wanting or asking for. If you had asked me what I most wanted guidance and help on right after college, I would have had two answers (and each one took priority depending on the day.) I wanted to start a successful company. And I wanted to get married. All my friends were married or engaged. And the tender mercy I had sent me to a totally new city and state that I had never been to. Where I am very happy, still unmarried, employed at a massive firm, and able to afford to visit my best friend every couple years to spoil her children. I love your use of “tender mercies.” I do think that they are inconsistent in most everyone’s lives. This is not to say that you ought to apply this model to your life – I only add this because I do not want to come across as if I believe they are the way God speaks to everyone or that every prayer will be supported by a tender mercy. They are given by God’s will and that is beyond my comprehension to explain.
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